Common ground for everyone: Can we all agree that we shouldn't try to indoctrinate our children?

Question

This includes atheists along with christians, muslims, wicans, buddhists, etc.

I, personally feel, we should respect our children enough to let them decide who THEY want to be, not who WE want them to be.

Jocko: You are the minority for a reason...no one likes you.

Dam, this is a scary world we live in.

Answer 1

Children should be free to decide for themselves when they are of age.

Answer 2

If teaching a child right from wrong while free of superstition
is indoctrination, I guess I'm guilty.

I taught my children to respect others, be good, be
honest, live right, do well. I did not say there is or is
not anything out there. It never came up. My kids are
good young men with ethics.

And they are atheists. Who chose for themselves.

I can't imagine dragging a newborn to a bathtub in
public proclaiming him to be a certain type of person,
a certain religion without his say.

How bizarre religious folks carry anti-abortion posters
stating the fetus didn't have a choice, yet when a child
is born in a religious home, they do the very same thing.

Answer 3

This is an excellent question! After giving this much thought over the years I have come to the conclusion that it is the responsibility of the parents, regardless of their religion, to share their beliefs and morals with their children. All religions have some basic good fundamentals like being nice to each other and such. So I raise my children Pagan because I need to share my morals and views with them, to help them grow into decent people.

But I do not think that we should force them to keep our views as they get older and start thinking for themselves. All of my children know that they can grow up to be what ever they want. Case in point my daughter is a professed and Initiated Pagan and both my sons are agnostic. I do not care which religion they prescribe to, if any, as long as they are good happy people.

Answer 4

Dream on. Not inculcate your children with your own treasured value system? Risk the possibility they might run off with the first cult leader who shows a "personal" interest in them? Children need something to rebell AGAINST when the time comes.

I recommend at least an intellectual exposure to a variety of belief systems, hopefully unbiased. But they should try SOMETHING on for a while, just to understand how it works. It's hard to critique an experience you've never had. Most systems are workable. The crucial part is to acknowledge that your system may not be not for everyone, but for now, this is the one our family follows. Experience need not be perfect to be useful.

Answer 5

If I fail to educate my children about the most important things they should know in life, I am not worthy to be a parent. How would I be showing respect to my children by leaving them in a dangerous world without guidance or direction? Should I let them be free to make their own decisions about taking drugs or fighting? No, I educate them to the best of my ability why some things are wrong and some things are right. I feel sorry for children whose parents deny them basic guidance, yet call it a virtue. I can't control what my children decide to be when they are grown, and I will love them regardless. But for the time that is given to me to be their teacher, I'm going to do it right.

Answer 6

Which of the following does the "indoctrination" we are agreeing not to do, include:

Attitudes and beliefs about finance and money: saving, investing, wise use of capital Work hard and save? Or let's blow the wad and have a grand time?

Attitudes and beliefs about health, diet, nutrition, and exercise: children about bedtime, healthy snacks, brushing teeth, not watching too much TV, washing their hands before meals? or do what you want when you feel like it?

Attitudes and beliefs about work and productivity: persistence, commitment to seeing the job through, showing up on time, cooperating with others? Or if people aren't smart enough to figure out a quick and easy way to make a buck, it's their funeral?

Attitudes and beliefs about the community: we help our neighbors and those less fortunate, we are friendly and cooperative with others? If other poor shmoes are down-and-out good riddance, and only smile at others who are of some use to you.

Environmental concerns: we care about the planet and the environment? or we consume like there's no tomorrow and to heck with recycling anything.

Education and career aims: you stay in school, study hard, and do well. You aspire to a career you can be proud of? Or books are boring and math is hard. Schoolwork? Fuggedaboutit!

Attitudes about our household: our home is to be well kept up and our things taken care of. Or a pig-sty is more comfortable, and cheaper, to boot!

Religion and spirituality: our family is a member of a particular faith commnunity, and we worship as a family until each of us is an adult and on his or her own. Or who cares what you believe in? Do what you want.

Answer 7

That makes absolutely no sense. Of course if we believe in the cleansing blood of Christ, and all that comes with it, we would want it for our children. If we believe that Jesus, the Son of God, was sent by Him to die for us and because of that belief, we will have eternal life in Heaven, why wouldn't we teach that to our children. Actually, we would be irresponsible to do anything less. I would expect that from any family. Anything else breeds confusion. That is not indoctrination, that is socialization. Children need to be given a moral compass in life or they will turnout like so many who write these silly questions. Not knowing right from wrong or good from bad. You can tell just by the way the questions are written; some unintelligible or spelling so bad you can't figure out the word. Can you say SPELL CHECK?

Answer 8

Hmmm...good question.
I think it depends on your definition of "indoctrinate"...
If I gave my kid a choice, he would decide he would rather not go to school, he would eat pizza, ice cream and candy all day long, and he would neglect his hygiene...
Obviously, it is up to me to teach him the value of an education, it is up to me to see to it that he eats healthy foods, and it is up to me to see to it that he bathes regularly, brushes his teeth, etc.
Hopefully, these habits will become ingrained as he grows...
You could call that "indoctrination"...and you would be right, of course.
On the other hand, I may have a dream for my child to be a famous research scientist, making huge strides in the treatment of, say, heart disease.
He hates science and math, and grows up to be a carpenter, and a very talented writer.
Did I do something wrong?
No...he made his own choice...

But you are referring specifically to religion, here, aren't you?
So...of course, parents are going to teach their children their beliefs, and the logic and reason behind them. Even if they were to decide to try not to, their very lives will reflect their beliefs...and that is as it should be.
So, when my kids were young, I simply was myself around them...I took them to church (they loved it, by the way, if they hadn't, I wouldn't have forced them), I read to them from the Bible (starting with the Children's Bible...we saved the sexy stuff for later)...and I did my best to live a Christian life...as I do still today.
Of course, I wanted them to be exposed to other ideas as well. And I want them always to choose for themselves...
Of course, my hope was and is that my children and grandchildren would grow up to be strong Christians...and so far, I have not been disappointed.

The important thing to understand is that you CANNOT force another person to believe what you want them to believe, no matter how badly you may want to.
Atheist parents cannot FORCE their children to be atheists. They can surround them with atheist literature, they can tell them about their own beliefs, and the logic and reason that led them to their beliefs...but, at the end of the day, they cannot FORCE the kid to share their opinions.
The same goes for Christian parents, Muslim parents, Jewish parents, etc, etc, etc ad nauseaum.
The only thing that happens if you try to cram your own beliefs down a child's throat is that the kid will rebel against you and against anything that even faintly looks like it might be associated with your belief.

Just ask how many atheists in this forum whose parents tried to force Christianity on them...and see what answers you get!

Answer 9

Yeah, and in the same way, we shouldn't "potty train" them, but wait till they're old enough to decide for themselves, and we shouldn't force an education on them by making them go to school, but we should respect them and let them decide for themselves when they're old enough to know whether an education would be valuable to them or not.

Come on! Get real! Some things you don't leave to the children to decide because they don't have enough brain power at that young age to have the necessary wisdom to make those kinds of choices!

That's not showing them respect when you leave them to their own devices!

Oh, and while we're at it, let's not teach them any morals, either. Why not wait till their older and decide for themselves if they want to be a pervert, a child molester, a murderer or thief. We shouldn't try to indoctrinate our children with OUR moral values! In fact, don't ever discipline your child or correct them! Wait till they're in prison and THEN tell them what you never bothered telling them when they were children! But I would say that's a little too late!

But YOU would let the child grow up any twisted way he or she finds available without any direction or guidance in their lives.

I think you really haven't thought through your position to it's logical conclusion.

Answer 10

Nope, I don't agree at all. I won't teach and/or promote what I do not practice.

My hope is that my daughter will see me LIVE a life that she wants to live too, even when she has left the shelter of my wing.

Answer 11

nope. And you are absolutely wrong.

If you are a parent do you let your children decide if they go to school or not? If they should use drugs or not? If it is safe to cross the street or not?

Do let your child decide when to go to bed? Do you let your child eat cupcakes and candy all day? Do you let your child play with matches?

Friend, teaching your children about God is more important than any of the above. It is the parents' privilege and responsibility to teach their children about God night and day - not just on sundays.

Let your children go their own way with no religious training and you have thrown them to the wolves.

god bless