My husband and I are thinking about adoption rather than having our own children. Is there any low-cost way?

Question

We would love to adopt a child rather than to have our own. Not because we don't want to have our own... but we both realize that there are so many MANY children overseas AND in the US that will grow up mentally damaged because there was no one around to love them. And rather than bring another child into the world to raise, we would love to raise one that is already here. The only problem is the cost. We really do not want a child from the US because the judicial system has given adopted children back to birth mothers before. If we go through with this, we would not be having any biological children and do not want to deal with being separated with our adoptive children. There are so many children in Russia that go insane from not being hugged or held. Why can't we adopt one for the cost of raising and loving a baby of our own? I don't mind paying for air-fare, health, compensating the orphanages, etc. But is there any way to do this without losing everything we have? Thanks!

Thanks! I listen to that show all the time. I never even thought of looking at their website!

Answer 1

I'm sure the board member from origins usa will chime in if she spots the same part of the question I noticed...

"We really do not want a child from the US because the judicial system has given adopted children back to birth mothers before."

That is very very very rare. When the court system gets involved in returning a child back to it's mother, something somewhere has gone terribly wrong and illegal with the adoption. If you have done your homework on ethics in domestic adoption and picked your agency based on those ethics, than this risk would be minimized greatly.

You may be confusing that risk with the risk of an expectant mother changing her mind at the time of signing the termination of parental rights paperwork. This is where a lot of fear stems in potential adoptive parents in a domestic adoption. It is a horse of a different color.

As for the low cost ways, the usual answer to that is to adopt through foster care.

Answer 2

We have children here that need loving parents also! If you want to adopt, why not adopt a child from the country you live in!

Answer 3

The answers you've been given already are great. Most of these people have been on this forum for quite a while and have firsthand experience either as birth parents, adoptive parents, or adoptees (or more than one)! I can't really say anything more than they've already said except:
PLEASE don't call a biological child "a child of my own." A child you adopt WILL be your own. It's just a little piece of language that drives me up the wall.

Answer 4

I love the idea others have mentioned about adopting from foster care.

If you're looking for an infant--it really is a myth that there are "MANY children overseas".

There's no way to get around the money issue in international adoptions, and there's plenty of corruption.

The 'cheapest' way to get a newborn is to have your own. Adopting children is very different than raising your own children.

Answer 5

There are over 500,000 children in the foster system here in the U.S., and over 100,000 are available for adoption - meaning they can never go back to live with their families. The judicial system only returns children to their parents if they were never freed up for adoption.

The cost is minimal and, in some cases, you may even get a stipend. I hope you will consider this, as you would be contributing toward making our society healthier here at home.

Answer 6

The cheapest form of adoption is probably going to through foster care. International adoption is going to cost you a few grand depending on where you adopt from. Some places require that the adoptive parent go and spend time in the country, or you may even have to visit the country and child, and then get them on another trip.

Answer 7

Foster parenting can lead to adoption and it is very inexpensive to adopt a foster child. Good luck!

Answer 8

Please look into a non-infant adoption in the US. You sound like you have so much love in your heart. Once the children in foster care are free for adoption and you have passed your home study and the final papers are signed, they are yours forever. US children need hugs and holding too and the costs are very low.

Just a little nit-pick tho'. I agree with alohagirl. "Children of our own" drives me as crazy as "real parents". Please do not think of children that you adopt as those children other than "your own". It is an injustice to them.

Answer 9

The cheapest way to adopt is through your state. There are many children in each state that are orphaned or the rights of the parents have been taken away. here are a few websites. Most of them actually have pictures of the children waiting to be adopted with a brief history of the child.
http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0geu55m9ExH1x0ByVlXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTE4cWUyYzQxBHNlYwNzcgRwb3MDMgRjb2xvA2FjMgR2dGlkA0gwNDlfODMEbANXUzE-/SIG=132ai326n/EXP=1196312038/**http%3a//adopt.org/servlet/page%3f_pageid=289%26_dad=portal30%26_schema=PORTAL30

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0geu.3D9ExH5E8BsP1XNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTE0cmloNzU4BHNlYwNvdi10b3AEY29sbwNlBHZ0aWQDSDA0OV84MwRwb3MDMQ--/SIG=1h66bl3kt/EXP=1196312131/**http%3a//rc10.overture.com/d/sr/%3fxargs=15KPjg14NSupamwr%252DucrvNROKEy1oaxca588poBphxG9Vc8mQ8De19babFmsV4Se1n%252DF%252DNwPfAzZchK%255Fv%255FmP2PFg6PQFuKG%252DfpjdLJyY05MqqkUGlxsOwhwurunoRLPXeuU16vOd%252D8nu7acZf0PndL6PxbjhCY%255FvFtxcqyxuAeFKyJiV955iKLY99c%252D%255FF7jMvCW5sLSbFWf6%252DR51OXBZ9Wmo94kL2UDg4TKS2q4GZ%255FqymHUiYgrKnJYokXu7HwhI2ZbPWsyNQPPxvTsK08tg7VjS%255FZnJwyY3czuKOVomkSGu7xJWSEzF57PJrG3MLrFYpuvib%252DHsGQRimoPi0jfEF4RPKtMV3IdDkx4wjWKdV1T4qj%252DyW6BLmQXGIqY1UXvt61GfY2%26yargs=www.FamilyAndChildrensAgency.org

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0geu.3D9ExH5E8Bt_1XNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTE4MmtpbDljBHNlYwNzcgRwb3MDNARjb2xvA2FjMgR2dGlkA0gwNDlfODMEbANXUzE-/SIG=12j7qc7kj/EXP=1196312131/**http%3a//www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/adopt_assistance/index.cfm

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0geu.3D9ExH5E8Bw_1XNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTE5dGkya3VtBHNlYwNzcgRwb3MDMTAEY29sbwNhYzIEdnRpZANIMDQ5XzgzBGwDV1Mx/SIG=121ck17sc/EXP=1196312131/**http%3a//adoption.about.com/od/adoptingbystate/

The last one is broken down by states. Good luck to you

Answer 10

i think it's great that you want to adopt a child that hasn't had any love, but Russia is going to be expensive. we have LOTS of kids in the system who have been orphaned. please help them. it'll be cheaper too. you're a real hero! thanks for thinking about all the unwanted children needing homes.