I am considering breaking up with my boyfriend. We are going to first try to talk it out...but I told him that I would meet him somewhere. I get out of work in two and half hours and need ideas on where to go. I work near Oakbrook Illinois and live near Bridgeview Illinois (which is suburbs outside of chicago) but I am willing to go anywhere.
Please help...thanks...
Background....
I might break up with him because i this is the third time i caught him lying to me about his ex's. They still call him, but there are other reasons why I want to break up. He is a financial burden to me because I always pay...and i have bills to pay...
Also because he is my first boyfriend and i have experienced everything with him. We dated for 2.5 years and im not sure if i love him any more...or just used to him. I need space...but he told me i can't date around or he wont "accept" me back.
Please help...anything will do. I dont know whether to go with my heart, mind, or my gut.
2007-11-27 11:13:44 · 14 answers · asked by Jessica V 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
All of you are being so helpful thank you so much for all the comments coming in....i am currently reading them all...from the bottom of my heart....thank you...
2007-11-27 11:21:12 · update #1
Give him a chance to explain, but don't be afraid to set some ground rules for the relationship to continue. There can be no more lies in your relationship, or he gets the axe.
2007-11-27 11:17:03 · answer #1 · answered by Steve C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not happy with him, it's not a reason to stay with him. You basically are stating every reason TO break up with him and the only reason to stay is knowing that you can't come back; that's not a very good reason to stay in the relationship. If you don't feel the way you felt for him, these other issues you have with him become the fuel to breaking up with him. In my opinion the trust has caused you to feel differently towards him and that cannot be fixed if you're staying by the threat of never being able to come back. You just have to follow your gut. It's never easy ending a relationship because of the attachment. Follow that gut instinct from the moment you wake up and at the end of the day.
2007-11-27 19:23:58 · answer #2 · answered by Story Unknown 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi sweetie....Honestly let me tell you I think you should dump him. Im going through kind of the same thing and your deserve better than that. You deserve someone who is going to respect you and cut those other females off. If there are no kids involved with those ex's there is no reason for them to call him. I ALWAYS pay too girl...I have 2 jobs to keep up and believe me i know its not easy. You need to do things for yourself. You could try talking to him first though about these problems, but its best to tell your heart to shutup and go with your gut because your gut is always right.
As far as where yall should go, maybe a nice restaurant or depending on how good you can stand the cold, a park. Somewhere intimate. Tell him to turn off his cell phone and you turn yours off too so that its totally you and him. Good luck girl
2007-11-27 19:20:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three or Four is a crowd (ex's) "not good," he obviously likes them calling him.Sounds like it makes him feel good,but makes you feel
bad "not good",lets talk about the financial burden (HIM)"not good",
If a guy finds a girl that will pay for everything all the time is either
down in his luck or just plain lazy if lazy is the case he will always be your burden weither you live together,or get married "not good"
Thats 4 "not good's" must I go on.......its up to you,dump or not.
If you still want him you might want to set some ground rules
change his phone no# help pay for things outings or other.
Hope this helps?
2007-11-28 00:34:31 · answer #4 · answered by Mancow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three things:
1. The location does not matter, but make it a public place so he is less likely to make a scene.
2. Sounds to me like you have a perfectly legitimate reason to break up. He wants it both ways: control of you, but no control placed on him. That's a bad matchup.
3. It is natural to feel nervous or to doubt whether you should do it. You probably DO still love him, at least a little bit. But despite the fairy tales, love by itself is not good enough. You need love, no doubt, but you also need commitment, respect, and honesty. Without those, your relationship is doomed to failure eventually. Best let it go now so you can get over it and move on. I guarantee you that you can do better!
Good luck!
2007-11-27 19:18:43 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's always a good option to give him a chance.. if what he says sounds like bogus, don't be afraid to move on. You'll find someone else, and if it's meant to be with him, it'll work its way through. Especially if you're unsure you like him anymore.. why waste your time/potential on a liar?
If you two do work it out though, set some rules! A good relationship isn't too free or too strict. Don't be afraid to tell him you don't want him lying and sneaking and calling with his ex's! Explain that you don't want to always be the one who pays for everything.. if he's short on cash, suggest you each pay for yourselves. (I've done that before, it really does relieve a lot.) If he cannot accept your rules, again, toss him out! Good luck, hope this helped!
2007-11-27 19:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by yeah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well breaking up is never easy take it from me I've been married for 24 yrs. and separated for the last 5 with little or nothing to do with her granted it wasn't easy but they say time conjures all i never will be over her but I've learned to cope I have very little to do with my 5 kids and it might seem cold for my own reasons because she is a control freak and even though she slept with what I thought was a good friend I still wanted her back I haven't really been able to move forward but I decided not to to go backwards either I can't make the decision for you but if I were you but I'm not my advice would be move on obviously he can't or he won't so life is to short you sound like you have your hole life ahead of you the time you have invested is nothing compared to where you might want to be in ten years from now so think about the long run if the short one is getting to you to me he sounds like a cling-on good luck on your decision
2007-11-27 19:41:38 · answer #7 · answered by kh50599 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I'd break up with him. Although it seems you have a pretty decent relationship, the key to a relationship is trust..Well, you also have to make sure you got the whole truth. Don't judge something to be what it's not..like don't think he's doing this but not know his purpose for doing it. If you still like him, then confront him about the financial problem and if he truly loves you then he'll do whatever he can to fix it. It seems as though you don't really like him as much as you used to and not trying to sound mean or harsh or anything..you are making excuses to justify your descision to break up with him.. BUT if I were you, BREAK up with him.
2007-11-27 19:24:44 · answer #8 · answered by Mimi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if there is no love then ther is no love.. you just have to move on. of you force it it would just be delaying the inevitable. Be strong and follow your heart. Make sure that you are honest with him too... as for a place.. not a restraunt... like a mall is good. because after you can go buy yourself some feel good after lol. jk.. a mall is a good place. if you want privacy... a park that is well lit then. good luck hon.
2007-11-27 19:22:51 · answer #9 · answered by biggbluewolf 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well when you are really in love your feeling do tend to level off so it sounds like you do love him but at the same time having to support your boyfriend is not good, it should be the other way around if not 50/50
2007-11-27 19:17:15 · answer #10 · answered by DJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋