how would I bring this up???

Question

Here's tha situation..

I'm 16 and I'm very mature for my age.
I've been dating my b/f for a little over 1 year now and I feel that I'm ready to go to tha next level (sex)

Well my mom told me a while back that If I was gonna be sexually active with a guy that I need to at least have tha decency to tell her before I do this.

Well that was a while ago and now I'm ready to but I'm scared about talking to her about it.

any idea on how I can start this convo with her?
thnx


&& She gets upset pretty easilly, and sometimes over- react's about thingz

Answer 1

I think she would appreciate your honesty. She wants to be there to support you, or she wouldn't have told you to come to her.You have been dating your boyfriend for a year, so it probably won't be such a surprise.

It can be awkward, but not as hard as you imagine it to be. It is a very mature"adult" thing to be open and honest, and that goes a long way.


You may also want to see a doctor to get a check up and more information about safer sex. There are clinics everywhere that welcome teens and are there to help.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

No moral lectures here. Just remember a few things, if she told you to talk to her than do it. Otherwise a huge trust/distrust issue will haunt both of you for the rest of your lives. Second, once you have sex there isn't any going back. It's the one and only thing you have absolute, complete control over. If you do have sex with anyone in high school, the odds are it won't be secret. Like it or not you are a minor and still need to mature and develop emotionally. What happens if you sleep with him this weekend and next weekend he's dumped you and is dating someone else. can you handle that? You had better be ready because those are the grown up scenes that will happen. A lot of guys just want sex. That's the way it is. Also, other guys may come sniffing around, so to speak, because once the word gets out, no matter how deep your relationship appears to be, they other guys will know you put out. You have a huge life ahead, be very careful, both in you decision making, and your protection. Even if you sleep with him and you are on the pill, make sure you use a condom because it's not just about getting pregnant, there's a list of STD's a mile long to scare the hell out of you. Some girls can have various complications from the pill, migraines, strokes, etc., and that's the other reason you should try to talk maturly to your mom if you are absolute about this. There may be a family history of something, or if you get really sick she should have all the facts just in case. As I said, you are still a minor, and she is responsible for your medical care. And remember, at your age and almost all ages, guys will say or do anything to get laid, so be careful!

Answer 3

Honestly there is not an easy solution to this problem. You appear to be a girl of a good moral standing to at least consider talking to your Mother about this i respect you for that. Bite the bullet and start the conversation, If u think you are ready to have sex than you are ready for the responsibility's that come with it and i am sure your mom will go into great detail about these, but at the end of the storm i think your mom will be happy that u came to her. Good luck!!!!!

Answer 4

Just sit her down and tell her. Maybe start with "Mom you know I love and trust you very much...." or "mom I am so glad that you and I are so close because I have something I want to talk to you about and it is a bit embarrassing....." she will catch on and prob take over the convo.. Be SAFE &&&&& SMART it is a very precious thing that you can't take back.. Once you REALLY fall in love you will be sad that you couldn't give it to that person. Don't be in a hurry to grow up--it's not all it's cracked up to be!

Answer 5

At 16, you shouldn't be thinking about sex...focus on school, get yourself into college, get a good job, pay your tuition with that money from your job, GET MARRIED then have sex.
That s what you should do. You don't want to risk getting pregnant (can you take care of a child, you are only a child yourself), sexually transmitted diseases (there are some out there that CANNOT be cured with medicine) or worse.
Think this through more before proceeding!

Answer 6

Yeah I can guarantee if you tell your mom she will put the ax on you and your dude, or will do everything she can to try to stop it. Now it's your body and your choices, but I would get on the pill if your going to be active, and have your guy use protection. I don't think there is anything wrong with what your doing, and it's natural, but if your going to do it, then I say be as safe as you can. But don't all out say your having relations with your dude. Tell her you want to get on it to regulate yourself, and she will understand that. And maybe mention that in the off chance something does happen you will be protected. I hope this helps.

-Ty

Answer 7

Well, I think you should remind her that you talked about this first. Then promise her that you're gonna use birth control and your man's gonna use a condom. Buy them in front of her so she knows you're not lying. Then tell her that you really want this and say plz plz plz and she should give in soon. If not, remind her that it's not just any guy and that you love him. I know this is embarassing but if she won't give in after all of that then let her watch to make sure you're safe. I know exactly how you feel. My mom gets upset very easily and it took me a VERY long time to convince her to let me wear thongs. Have a good time with your bf!

Answer 8

If you are scared to tell her and talk to her - then you are most definately NOT ready to have sex. You need to be more mature and able to handle all the emotions that come with it. Not to mention the consequences too. If you cannot discuss it, then wait until you can deal with it. Otherwise you need to visit a planned parenthood clinic or something and get educated and protect yourself. It is too important to not protect yourself.

Answer 9

my suggestion is WAIT,but hey little girls never listen.First off just start up a convo about you and your bf maybe pull her to the side and tell her you need to tell her something,and start a casual conversation like oh Bob and I did this or talked about this and mom we were talking and you know we have been dating for a year and I want to take it to the next level,now don't get upset and let me explain,and there you go.And no one is ever ready for sex.There is a lot of consequences that go along with it.

Answer 10

Hey gurl.
Just be like.Hey mom I dont want you to get upset but can we talk? ANd when she says yes be like dont get upset momma but I think im ready to go to the next level with my bf (( w/e his name is)) and say whats your thoughts on that and since she knows your mature and all that she will be like well be careful,we will go get the "pill" ect. or you could say mom do you think im ready for the next level and if she loves you she will tell you the truth cause she knows you wil do it behind her back so she will know that she has no choice to but to work with you!
So good luck gurl!