My dad is very discouraging?

Question

I know more people probably have a father like this than I realize, but my dad is really one of those put-downers, never ever congratulating people (or even his kids) for their achievements, always making them feel dumb, like losers, even when they accelerate and the general public admires and is in awe, no, it's always "who cares" or "do you think you're good now cause you accomplished so and so?", and it's really disheartening.

For so long I did my best to ignore it and my mom is much more balanced and she helped a bit, but recently he came to visit after I hadn't seen him in months and at the end it became nasty and he put me down a lot. Shortly after he left he sent me an email asking me why I needed "so much" money to pay bills and college expenses which is pretty ironic considering he made over 400k a year last year and never provided more than food/shelter/water/basics.

I want to forget about him and still maintain a positive outlook and belief in myself, because I'm nearing the end of my undergraduate years (skipped 2 years even, still wasn't enough for him), and I need to focus on graduate school applications and the graduate school exam and that in itself is hard enough without someone discouraging you all the time.

How to forget the putdowns?

Thank you.

Answer 1

Finish school get on your own 2 feet then tell him thanks for the help.It was a great achievement for him to give up the thing he loves most seeing he never loved you or your mother enough to be a decent husband and father but just a money donor.
Tell him the money will keep the flames burning brightly in hell where he is going.
This will tick him off but I thought you might get a chuckle.
No, just realize and accept him for what he is , a jerk and I dont know you, but I am proud of you, not too many girls brought up in a single parent home can say they have done what you have.You must have a really good mother!I am sure she loves you and is proud of you.Stick in there hon, JESUS loves you and so do we!

Answer 2

i am so sorry to hear about your problems. my friend's father also discouraging but i think hes worst because his father just discoraging towards him ONLY. where the problem and why the problem began we really dont have any ideas why his father acting like that. but because of his father's discouraging and stingy, he take it as a challenge. he did partime while studying(so he did not asked for his father's money) and score 2ndtop student in his course. unfortunately his father still look down to him. eventually he just accept his father's behavior and go on with his succesful life.

Answer 3

If your in college, most good ones give students free counseling. I would look into that. Also keep your distance from your father.

Answer 4

he is dealing with his own father issues apparantly.

constant putdowns make life harder for those who try so hard like yourself to accomplish and fight for you education !
he is either proud of you but comes out as put downs, he just cannot express his emotion for you incase he may cry or something like that.
he could be depressed.
sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and belive in yourself when no one else can, stand up to his put downs, you tell him "dad your put downs are very hurtful to me, why do you say things that hurt your daughter?"
if you dont have anything ENCOURAGING to say to me DONT- SAY- IT -AT- ALL -COZ -I -DO -NOT- WANT -TO- HEAR -IT!

Answer 5

You don't forget them, you put a stop to them. Tell him if cannot speak to you with respect and decency, you have nothing more to say to him.