bipolar boyfriend? is it hard to leave?

Question

my bf broke up w/ me almost 1yr ago when he went on his antidepressants(he impulsively told me that his medication made him happy and therefore "he didnt need me anymore"&that was it. we didnt speak2each other for 10months&randomly out of nowhere he called me&wanted2meet up.Since then(for 3 months now)we have talked everyday&have visited each [e-mail] so frustrating tho bc somtimes he'll call&txt me nonstop doing cute things4me constantly telling me he loves me&wants me back more than nething, then the next day hes still nice2me but hes standoffish&acts as if im not very important2him.his mood changes from day2night&he has EXTREME anger problems2the point where he cant discuss matters he constantly has a tone in his voice.somtimes he'll sleep til 6pm,othertimes he wont fall asleep til 4am.he'll sob over small matters&constantly scrutinizes others,i never feel like hes sincerely devoted2me yet he tells me hes in LOVE w/ me.is he BP&if so how will it progress in our relationship?

Answer 1

if he is unwilling to take his meds -- then you should not be with him

people with bipolar (meaning me also) need to learn the hard lesson that people in our lives will not take being abused and manipulated -- my husband left me when I refused to take my meds, it was the best thing he ever did for me -- I know take the medication and take care of myself, in time I was reunited with my husband

being with a person who has a mental illness is never easy, your choice is hard and life changing, please take care of yourself first -- he needs to come to his senses otherwise he is in for a very difficult/hard life -- don't go down with him

Answer 2

I know you are young. Here's the funny thing. Well...not ha ha funny....I had a best friend (best guy friend) and he was the EXACT same way. We'd talk on the phone all the time and then all of a sudden he'd say "I don't need any friends" and then he'd call and apologize and then he'd say he was "dead" and then he did the "sleeping" all day stuff (depression) and he kept losing jobs. His life was soooooo dramatic, I HAD to get away from it because I couldn't handle it personally. You have to be an extremely STRONG person to make it in a relationship with a bipolar person. I totally feel your pain even though there's an age difference. It doesn't get better with age -- he was in his late 30s (he was also paranoid with his - you didn't mention paranoia)........it's a ROUGH road. I needed my sanity back and I got it back. I just couldn't handle it.

Answer 3

He is making you co-dependent on his illness and you are enabling him to do so. While it is admirable what you are trying to do in helping him, you are definitely getting suckered. I'll bet that if you tried to break it off he would tell you that he can't live without you and that he is going to kill himself. That will be his hold on you. Aside from that, you say he has an extreme anger problem. This is also not good as at some time in the future, this anger will be directed at you and may become physical. You are a good person, but you need to get out of this relationship once and for all. Good luck as it will be difficult, but for your own peace of mind, you must do so.

Answer 4

Sounds like bipolar to me have him see a psychiatrist. Man if you were in ventura county you could use the 211 which will get a group of therapist to monitor his behavior. If he is violent recommend 911 and they will help out too. Anyways bipolar people is hard to deal with. I would suggest that he sees a psychiatrist. But it also does sound like a personality disorder one of those two. Someway or another it will be found and dealt with.

Answer 5

That does sound like it could be Bipolar disorder. My younger sister is Bipolar and when she doesn't take her meds her moods are like day and night. One minute she hates your guts but the next shes crying and says shes sorry. Your bf needs to see medical treatment. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 6

I'd avoid him completely. Bipolar and schizophrenic boyfriends and girlfriends have been known to do seriously bad things in an irrational state of mind. Some have been known to beat the sh#t out of or stab their gf/ bf when in an angry or agitated state. Of course, this does not apply to all people with bipolar or schizophrenia, but it sounds like he has a severe case of it. Just take care of yourself.

Answer 7

I had the same thing happen to me--he dumped me, then tried to be nice a few months down the road. I was NOT going to tolerate anyone treating me in this manner--diagnosis or no diagnosis--they need to be held responsible for their unacceptable behavior. I gave him a chance, he blew it. I'm glad he ended it, I couldn't have handled this type of life. You deserve better and cannot save this person. If you'd like to remain friends that's fine, however ensure boundaries are firmly set. The best to you...

Answer 8

She is correct in saying he used a disease to manipulate a codependency. I think a depressed bipolar can make a good partner. But if they act out and show anger they are on the border to schizoid. Any lying and anger belongs outside depression. You don't have to be mentally ill to use anger to manipulate your partner. The winners do it all the time.

Answer 9

you are an awesome person for wanting to help him but i just got out of a 4 year relationship with my bipolar boyfriend and its the hardest thing ever- i dont have the answer for this but you are amazing for trying to help him and want to be there for him but it also holds your life back because you are living for him and he is progressing in his life and you are stuck where you are at if that makes sense

Answer 10

The way i see it if he left you because he is happy elsewhere then chances are he will find happiness somewhere else and leave you again. Just break-up with him and find someone that will respect you for who you are before he ends up breaking your heart.