Is there something wrong with me?

Question

Okay. Here's the story.. I'm in the ninth grade. I was home schooled from 4th grade to eighth so I'm really, really shy & not all that popular at my school. I've been asked out a couple of times, but not by anyone I'm attracted to. Everyone tells me I'm beautiful, but no guys ever ask me out. I have a hard time talking to guys that I like & I get the feeling I come off as stiff & boring. I'm afraid to even talk around guys I like anymore because it feels like they aren't attracted at all after we talk. It's horrible. Yet, most of my friends know me as being one of the most outgoing in my group. It's so weird. I just wish I could be that way around guys. I know what your going to tell me, "loosen up" "don't think so hard about it". I've tried! As hard as I can. Why don't I get asked out? Why do guys look at me as if they are interested yet they never come up & approach me? I'm scared I'll never date someone I like, & for that matter anyone at all.

Answer 1

Most guys tend to only ask out girls if the girls show serious interest in them. If you want guys to ask you out, be flirty, and talk to them first.

Answer 2

Ok.. lets take a look ..you too.. ..comeon....!

Look at the way you asked your question... It begs for an excuse. (understand?) Is something wrong with me".. so when the inevitable *ss pipes up with a YES... then you might want to feel you have an excuse. That leads to the old 'those grapes were prob. sour anyway' rationale and you spend a few more Satudays at home.

Ok.. so.. now look at your last line... that sums it all up. You are scared. .... HEY.. guess what.. its a HUGE world out there and a LOT of people are scared of a lot of things.. Some get over it... some become serial killers... and some stay lonely. Pick one.

Ah.. good choice... so what can we do to ease up the fear - trust me it NEVER goes away.. to lose fear and aprehension is to become bored with life.

Try these

Become interactive: Ask for help from people you like and who you know might have the answers (not a good thing to ask for help in astro physics from the guy who can barely tie his shoe laces...he will feel picked on and resentful). Listen and say thanks and give praise if they do a good job.

Offer help to those who you Can help. Don't sell yourself .. just offer it as a friend. If they say no.. accept it and leave the offer on the table.

Lunch: be bold.. ask to sit in or down... be prepared with a conversation topic or two or, if you don't understand the current table top topic listen.. then admit your ignorance and ask questions to learn (see item #1).

Bring a problem to the table... maybe your car runs bad, or your IPOD froze.. Hey.. you brought your problem here, right.. its just the next step.

BOTTOM LINE... YOU need to take the initiative to DO it instead of looking for an excuse NOT to do it.

ok...

class over...watch out for the rice paper grasshopper.

.

Answer 3

I just had a long conversation with a friend about homeschooled kids. Here are a few things to consider: 1) many of these kids have been together for many years and you are a new addition. It's going to take awhile for them to get to know you. Be patient and try REALLY hard to be as social as possible. I can imagine it's hard, because it's all new to you, but you're going to have to bite the bullet and show up in as many places as possible so people get used to seeing your face and get to know your personality.

2) Homeschooled kids tend to be REALLY smart and MUCH more mature than the rest of us :) It's a little intimidating. Again, this will take time for everyone to adjust.

Do you know enough people that you could throw a small party? Maybe a Friday night movie/pizza thing, or pick a weekly show that everyone likes to watch (I don't know what teenagers watch these days - Gossip Girl??) and have everyone over to watch it. High school is difficult - it's awkward enough for kids who have gone to traditional school for 8+ years, I'm sure it's even more difficult for someone who's been thrust into it.

Once people get to know you, you'll have more luck getting dates. But also, don't be in a hurry :) Enjoy high school and good luck!

Answer 4

Well as a new person you will experience that because people by ninth grade have already established their cliques. They know of what circles they belong and don't belong, what helps their reputation and what hurts it. You think outside the box which is a good thing, however for the next 3 1/2 years they will still consistently think in that sphere. You'll have to start to establish yourself in some circle, or group of friends to get noticed. That way they can judge you if that is so what you are choosing. Are you trying to specify by the persons who asked you out, were they girls? Anyway get established and things will take off. Your still considered new, and people are just trying to get a feeling of who you are and what your about. Just relax it will get easier.

Answer 5

Teen guys are often afraid to ask really beautiful girls out because of fear of rejection. I dated a really beautiful girl after high school (I only knew her as an aquaintance while in high school) and she told me that she was often lonely because boys didn't ask her out and she dated a few brave nerds just to go out because no one else asked her. She was not stuck up or dumb at all. To the contrary, she was very intelligent and a very nice girl.

She and maybe you, were intimidating to boys because of her great beauty. I think the best solution is to be aware of the effect you have on boys and try to make them more at ease by showing that you are human too and not a goddess.

Don't worry, some nice boy that you like is bound to find you sooner or later. I'll bet that it is this year.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with you. You're just going through some major adjustments in your life right now. Don't be so concerned about boys asking or not asking you out. You have to realize that boys your age (and older) don't even know what they're looking for in girls. So don't hold that against yourself, cuz you'll just drive yourself crazy! In the meantime, have fun and relax with the people around you and build the confidence that you need to help you get over that awkwardness that you experience around guys.

Answer 7

There's nothing wrong with you, really. I was never a shy little one - I'm very outgoing - so I know just the thing!

BE TRUE YOURSELF!

If you're shy, Mister Shy will come along and sweep you off your feet.

If you're truly outgoing, show it! I flirt, alot, and I'm 13. I talk to guys like I talk to girls. The best way to really like someone is to be their friend -- hang out! Go to the movies as a group, take a couple friends. There'll be a spark, if it really is Mister Right! Good luck! Email me if you need help, hun! ;)

Answer 8

You're only in 9th grade. It's pretty normal to have insecurities like that at the age you are. The important thing is to remember you WILL find someone- I promise you that. Just give it some time. I didn't find my first boyfriend until 10th grade- and up until then I swore everyone thought I was the biggest doofus at school. And then one of the coolest guys ended up really liking me! It shows how much character you have, and how unique you are, that people don't quite know what to make of you yet. Being simple is far, far worse!

Answer 9

No I don't think that there is something wrong with you at all. You are probably so pretty that you are intimidating. Guys often don't ask girls because they feel that they are "out of their league." If I could have a chance to go back and do things differently I would have been more warm, quick to smile, and more self-confident. It turns out that no matter how bad I feel about myself just a little bit of self-confidence not only boosts my self-esteem, but it draws guys to me like magnets to metal. Just being able to smile and mean it when I walk by someone I don't know makes me irresistable. I think you should try it!

Answer 10

Okay, theres nothing wrong with you.

Certain people tend to be a certain way. You just more of the shy type but warm up once you get comfortable with the person.

You just have to accept that fact. No matter how much you pretend not to be; deep down you always will be.

And theres nothing wrong with that..AT ALL.

Be comfortable with who you are and you'll have a happier outlook on life. And just having that confidence is very attractive.

Good luck my friend and may god bless you in your journey =)

Answer 11

You're in the ninth grade! Relax and focus on your interests. Dating at that age is pretty low-key, but can be looks oriented. But if you feel beautiful, then you are beautiful!!!!
If you focus on a talent and your studies, you'll subconsciously loosen up and when the right, nice boy, wonderful in both looks (don't ever judge a book by its cover in high school) and personality, you'll be over the moon!