How can my dad feel this way? (racially disturbing)?

Question

I am in an interracial marriage and my dad and I have been writing back and forth trying to talk things out. Today, this is the email I got. (attached below along with the more details b/c it's long)..so what's your opinion of this? How would you react?? It hurt me and I haven't and can't share it w/ my husband for fear of his reaction.


Perhaps during the 18 or so years that we lived under the same roof,that I didnt make myself perfectly clear.Dont bring and ******* or zebras into my life.I dont need that.Over the years i have worked and been around many of black men.Everyone of them have the same goals in life.Marry a white woman,milk her of all they can get,leave broke PG and head on down the road,to another victum.all the while they have several other women that they are having an affair with,and getting as many as they can PG they dont care who,or if the bills get paid,nor do they pay any support to any of them.they keep moving on to one place or another,so no law

inforcement can find them,and let their poor stupid women raise thier kids all by themselves.They are LOW SELF ESTEEM PEOPLE. Perhaps,you are lucky enough to have that one in a million,that is not that way.I dont know.I still dont want to meet him,or any othe blacks,or their offsprings.All that I asked of you was to do your best in school,do the best that you can in life and stay within your own race.Was that to much to ask? Is there anything that you dont understand about this? I dont ask for any grattitude or thanks for anything that I have done for you or anyone else in the family.I LOVE ALL MY FAMILY VERY MUCH

I just don't understand..what have I done so wrong?? I don't do drugs, I graduated from college with a 3.8 GPA, I'm in a professional job.

OH AND PG - pregnant...

Answer 1

I think you should let your husband see the letter he wrote. First off your husband wasnt born yesterday and Im sure he is well aware of bigotry and has heard this before. You 2 are married and should be sharing things not hiding them from each other. This is painful for you too because its your dad and you need your husbands emotional support. This letter is something you are both hurt by. You need your husband to see where your father stands. Your dad is a fool, he will miss out on being a grandparent to the wonderful children you will have. I wouldnt miss out on that for anything in the world no matter what color they were. Your dad isnt even willing to give your husband a chance. However its possible down the road he may change. Its been known to happen. If that happens then thats one less bigot in the world so dont spit in his face if he does change, it will only create more hate.

Answer 2

wow thats sad that your dad feels that way. unfortunately that was probably bred into him by his father and the generation that he grew up in. I do understand what he is saying but generalizing the race that much isn't fair. There are plenty of white people that are just as terrible and horrible to women and use women and get them pregnant and then leave. Its not just black men. You can tell your dad that he did a fabulous job raising you, because you have learned that all people should be treated equally, no matter their race, or color of their skin. Only ignorant people judge by that, you have to look past the color and see the person and you were able to do that because of the way you were raised. thank God that your Dad's predudice didn't keep you from meeting your husband. If he doesn't love his future grandchildren that is just not fair because they do not choose who they come from, but they will come from love and that is what they should get.

Answer 3

Ohhhh my gosh!
I dont mean to sound harsh but ur father is so arrogant and sooooo wrong!
I cant stand racism - and im sorry ur dad is a racist but he out of all people should understand that if u love ur husband then he should also be happy for u!!
What kind of father is he, trying to tell u how he doesnt approve of ur husband just because of his colour! That is total nonsense!
Ur father is the one with the problem! If he cant accept that u are in a happy marriage then its something he will have to deal with!
Ur dad is a prick --- was he brought up this way to hate black people???
Well all i can say is that if u are truely happy in this marriage then that is all that matters... Try to keep the peace with ur father thought by writing or contacting him etc but if he continiues to put ur hubby down then personally i would just stop speaking with him untill he can accept the fact that u are happy with a wonderful husband - ur dad cant judge that by his colour!!

Answer 4

I don't know i have a person like that in my family as well told all of us kids that if we ever date a black man or women we would end up killing her....n so we all haven't even tho there are so many nice guys its just out of respect. I'm Hispanic n been told to just date other Hispanics but i fell in love with a white boy n they all welcomed him it just takes time.

Answer 5

Your dad is a lulu. I hope your husband is a lot better. Because it sounds like you will not be having much contact with your dad for a long time, if ever. Don't expose your husband or children to this kind of hostility.

Answer 6

If your certain about your husband, keep trying with your dad. (I'm not saying black people are like that but if your husband happens to like that you should leave.)Don't choose one over the other, but keep trying with your dad. He will get over it eventually it takes time.

Answer 7

that is awful you have the right to marry and have kids with whomver you want..if you love him you wont listen to ur father..he is stuck in the past