I just found out that my girlfriend of two years lied about her age. I discovered this on my own and quite by accident. I thought she was a year older than me, but she is actually six years older. She said she lied because she was afraid of losing me, but two years have gone by and she never told me until confronted. It's not so much the age difference that I am struggling with, but the lie.
Input? Advice? Suggestions?
2007-11-27 09:37:49 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I shave off a couple of years, but I think once you get into a serious relationship she should have been truthful!
But we woman are very insecure about our age. Especially when we are dating a younger man. So you should cut her some slack! This wasn't a mean spirited lie, this was a lie from insecurity!
2007-11-27 09:41:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
A lot of women lie about their age. I'm not saying that that makes it right, it's just that age matters a lot to some women. (My brother-in-law's mother is so close-lipped about her age that even her kids don't know how old she really is). Chances are when she first met you she gave the same fake age that she gives to everyone. Then when she developed feelings for you and you guys got into a relationship, she probably felt that there was just never a good time to tell you that she had been fudging the truth about her age. All of that aside, finding out that you've been lied to, no matter what it's about, is always something that puts a damper on the trust in a relationship. And I understand why you're upset. Talk through it with her.
2007-11-27 09:44:27 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ Honest Heart ♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a pretty huge lie. You have the right to be upset and she will have to work on building her trust with you, however if you love her just the same don't give up on her because of the age difference now. I think in a sense she sort of proved her point because she knew you would like her without age being the question, but men sometimes are looking for the next young thing which makes woman get insecure. You both will be fine, just tell her that starting now you want honesty to be key in your relationship. That means you too.
2007-11-27 09:47:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You my friend are in a very difficult situation...I understand you perfectly. You should really look into that relationship and weight the good things versus the bad things...I wouldn't feel confortable with someone who lies about his/her age you see maybe for the 3 first month sounds logical but 2 years and she didn't even plan on telling you, that sound very bad I mean if she hid something so simple can she hide something really important. I'm gonna be honest with you my bf has likes the way I am I personally think I'm too much 'cause I tell him exactly what I think and do even if its dumb. Boy no one can tell you better how to act or go about then your heart. Follow it!
2007-11-27 10:06:44 · answer #4 · answered by krixty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a very important factor in a relationship. Whether the relationship is just friends, girlfriend/boyfriend, or husband and wife. Lying will only lead to bigger problems in the relationship. I think you should sit down and talk to her about this and ask her why she decided to lie to you. Don't be dramatic about it, but do ask if there is anything else that she has been hiding from you.
**I would have asked her about her age when you first started to hang out more with her. Be curious about stuff like that.**
Good Luck with the relationship and I hope that everything works out.
2007-11-27 09:42:59 · answer #5 · answered by ♠925theoutlaw♣ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a pretty severe lie! Starting a relationship out with a lie is never a good idea. Your girlfriend messed up pretty bad and I'm sure she knows it. She should have told you as soon as it started to get serious, but what can you do about that now? If you feel like she has lied about other things I'd see this as a huge red flag. If everything else is perfect and there's this one lie...I'd probably let it go but let her know how disappointed in her you are.
2007-11-27 09:41:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes it was wrong for her to lie about her age, the big question is how many minor other things she has lied about, this is a big trust issue. If you love her, sit down and talk to her and give her the chance to uncover anything else she may be hiding, then forgive her and move on to the happy life you both deserve.
2007-11-27 09:43:07 · answer #7 · answered by sneakymonica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her, who cares? Yes she lied, but it's not like she used to be a man or something. As I am sure you have heard women can get quite crazy about their age, just talk to her and let her know that you were hurt that she lied to you about it and ask that you guys be honest about things from here forward. Just be ready to forgive her if she comes clean about some other things that may be hiding in the closet or you might lose your relationship of stupid pride.
2007-11-27 09:42:22 · answer #8 · answered by ellusionary 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At the beginning of any relationship, people may be nervous and lie. I'd forgive and forget, to be honest, as long as she isn't lieing anymore. If you've been together for 2 years and you DON'T care about this petty age difference then I'd say go for it :) but make sure you're firm that you don't want any more lies.
2007-11-27 09:40:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If that's the only lie she has told you then GET OVER IT.
I personally don't have a problem with my age. I'm 53, but for some women it is a big deal. Some kind of insecurity thing.
If you make a big deal out of it when you tell her you know it will only make her feel more insecure.
2007-11-27 09:44:29 · answer #10 · answered by K 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋