Every holiday I leave in tears & so angry, asking myself where did I go wrong? I raised 3 girls each one different as night & day. One of them (30 yrs old) always w/o fail says something hurtful & insulting to me, naturally in front of everyone of course in hopes of getting a laugh. This Thanksgiving her zinger not only hurt me but an innocent by-stander as well and was totally uncalled for! Apparently that wasn't enough so she started in on her younger sister! When I called her on it the next day (I didn't want to upset everyone by getting into it with her then) she said she did nothing out of line to either of us! Yet everyone asks me why I let her get by with that stuff she's just to old to take out back to the wood shed and even when she wasn't it would have done no good. I now refuse to go to Christmas because of her, it should be me Christmas is about the children and my grandchildren shouldn't miss out. My fear is if I'm not there she'll do it to someone else. What do I do?
2007-11-27 09:35:37 · 4 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This has been going on for maybe 5/6 yrs now...she's going thru a divorce and is alone with my grandchildren. I fear she could turn that inner anger on them as I've seen her do in the past...suggestions? And don't say suggest she go see a doctor she would no more listen to me than she would a rock. I'm at a loss...needing real serious replies....
2007-11-27 09:39:48 · update #1
First off,where is Christmas going to be held this year?If it is not at her house,then go.It does not mean you have to speak with her.If she insists,then politely inform her that you love her,but her attitude just isn't for you and if she is going to be that way,you don't want to speak with her.Then,you still get to see the rest of the family.Maybe if more people do that to her,she would see how selfish and mean she is really being.Plus,if you give her the brush off and spend more time with her siblings,she will more than likely leave and go sulk somewhere.I would also talk with your other kids and tell them what you want to do,and get feed back from them as to what they would like to see happen.
2007-11-27 09:48:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's hurtful to her husband and children too. So he wants out. But the children have no choice.
If you want to maintain a relationship with the children, and maybe help them cope with such a mother, you will need to put your own feelings on the back burner. You can do that. After all, her hurtful remarks are really about her, not you. Don't take them personally. Develop a sense of humor about them. Figure out some ways to turn them aside when she makes them in front of others. Above all, don't act upset, even when you are. Bullies live for that.
Remember, your grandchildren are more vulnerable than you are.
2007-11-27 18:07:19 · answer #2 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she does something so hurtful or insulting, it's time you show her the ropes... slap her in the cheek immediately! Do not tolerate it.
I'm serious. I know it will be hard, but better you do it than someone else. Everyone will be waiting for you to do it so no one will be surprised except your daughter. DO NOT LET HER WALK ALL OVER YOU.
2007-11-27 17:45:09 · answer #3 · answered by Daisuke 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some people are just that way. Sit and talk to her. No yelling or screaming just try to resolve this problem.
2007-11-27 17:42:49 · answer #4 · answered by Countryprincess67 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋