Step-parent disapline?

Question

What is everyone's view on a step-parent physically disciplining a child? I personally think it's not a step-parent's place. For example, a step parent slapped a child in their mouth.

Please excuse me Miss Sarah D. I truley apologize for the typo in the headline. DISCIPLINE.......see, I'm smart like you now!

Answer 1

I agree with andrew, slapping in the face is never appropriate. I don't necessarily think that a step-parent should never spank a child, but considering that a child is already bound to have some confusing/hard feelings toward a step-parent, it is probably not a good idea for them to be administering that sort of discipline.

Answer 2

Its tough. You don't want to neuter the step-parent by saying they CAN'T discipline whatsoever, because they will be powerless in making the child behave when the biological parent isn't around.

I think both parents should sit down and figure out a united front on punishment, and then approach the child, assuming they are old enough and say look this is how it is going to be. And lay down what the "law of the land is".

I don't agree with slapping children in the face given MOST circumstances. If the child is older as in another question I read and they flat out cussed their parents out, wellll maybe thats a bit different *the kid was like 14* But most of the time I'm against the face slapping thing.

Answer 3

Family rules should be agreed upon by the parents first. If they do not have the same idea, then the children do not know who to listen to.
Discipline also needs to be worked out. Until the step kids respect the step parent, any discipline is resented. Especially smacking or hitting.
TO PARENTS: Never hit anyone when angry to discipline them. The smack is harder than is needed or in an area (like the face) where you wouldn't want to hit.
TO KIDS: the step parent came into the family with different family values than you grew up with. Talk things out and get a good idea of what is OK and what is not.

Answer 4

it depends on the person and the household situation. i dont believe in slapping anyone in the mouth . spanking is for bottoms only and without bruising, welts or any marks. As the married partner of the spouse legally you can spank your stepchildren. I think a step parent shouldnt leave the discipline mainly up to the father. this doenst always involve spanking , it means doling out punishment, you are in this childs life as an adult that deserves respect, if this child doenst listen to you and you cant discipline them , they will continue to disrespect you . being a friend to a step child can be the worst thing ever for that relationship , they dont listen to thier friends and follow their friends directions , why should they listen to step mom as a friend. You are in this childs life to as a adult figure, to guide them to adult hood. they are expected to respect every other adult and should be expected to respect you . The father should be the main disciplinary person in the house, but lets face it dads not around all the time , and using the wait till your fathers home , doest work for your own biological children . if you discipling your children you should also discipline your step children in the same fashion . But never in the form of abuse. A light tap on the bottom for a child under 10 is appropriate, but slapping in the face is wrong.

Answer 5

No parent has ANY business marrying someone they do not trust to discipline their kid and it IS the step parents responsibility if they are expected to fill all other roles of step parent.
The reason being is that step parent is doing his/her best to fill that role that maybe some dead beat left open.The child NEEDS that role filled in the area of discipline so they know how to behave as adults and how the parent in that role should discipline their kids.
I would have NEVER married a woman I didnt trust to discipline my child properly and I wouldnt ever marry a woman who lets her child run around like a wild undisciplined brat.
No step parent should be subjected to being made a door mat for a brat.
If they are abusive thats one thing, but what if the kid called the step parents a sorry S.O.B. because they wouldnt buy them an expensive cell phone?
I dont think the step parent should HAVE to smack the kid in the mouth, the PARENT should easily beat the step parent to it!

Answer 6

Being a step parent is not easy. It's much harder than marriage itself. I am a step mother to a set of 7 year old twins and its a lot of work! Their mother doesn't train them to have any manners or respect for peoples things and honestly there are times I wanna hit them but I wouldn't want anyone to hit my kids. So there is a boundary of discipline being a step parent especially. That is why its best to let the biological parent handle the discipline. I pretty much vent to my husband when he gets home so I don't have to use all my energy yelling or strength not to hit them. Seriously. I'd feel awful if I did hit them because that would change everything. I wouldn't want anyone not even my own parents to hit me. So this could have a bigger impact on the child not so much the parents or step parent. It's just unacceptable.

Answer 7

My husband is my son's step dad. No way would I allow him to hit my son. I do most of the discipline. Occasionally he will tell him no video games or something. Usually it's up to me, and I wouldn't want it any other way. We've been married for three years and my son is nine.

To Chiefs Fan you decided to grant me your infinite wisdom with this statement:
To musicpan while I don't agree with slapping a child, coming from a step parent role myself. Do you put your husband in that role. since he is your child you made that clear many times, you shouldn't expect your husband to do anything for your son, Bio parents get so jealous over steps and I don't get it, why would you get mad if someone is trying to love and care for your son. I just hope you don't tell your son well you don't have to listen he isn't your real dad. That will cause major problems later. Good luck being a step parent isn't as easy as people think, you have critisim from the biological parents and everyone else in the family.

Ok...first, where did I say he should not love my son? He does love my son. I don't expect him to do anything he doesn't want him to do. I.E. I do not expect him to clothe him, I buy the groceries-although my husband does buy some, I buy most, I buy most of the toys and books. I pay if we go to the fair, waterpark, movies ect. My husband has no problem with that. He's my child Obviously men come and go, my son will not. And I don't critize my husband. He does a good job with my son. I just don't let him HIT him. What is so wrong with that??? He can punish him in other ways for instance, just last night he took computer and video games away from him for a few days. He takes a part in the rules he's just not allowed to hit him! Why are people thinking I'm wrong for that. If I were to say I let him hit my son then you all would be upset with that! I don't resent the fact my son has a step father in fact, I encourage them to spend time together and do things. And they do.

You need to stop judging me just because I don't allow someone to hit my kid! What the hell is that anyway? Yeah, he's still not going to hit him. Nobody has changed my mind on that. Get over it for God's sake!

Answer 8

To musicpan while I don't agree with slapping a child, coming from a step parent role myself. Do you put your husband in that role. since he is your child you made that clear many times, you shouldn't expect your husband to do anything for your son, Bio parents get so jealous over steps and I don't get it, why would you get mad if someone is trying to love and care for your son. I just hope you don't tell your son well you don't have to listen he isn't your real dad. That will cause major problems later. Good luck being a step parent isn't as easy as people think, you have critisim from the biological parents and everyone else in the family.

Answer 9

Legally, they are allowed to. And a parent shouldn't marry someone they would not trust to physically discipline their child. If you believe in spanking, then you should tell the step-parent how you believe a spanking should be administered and you two should talk about it. Both should administer the spanking in the same way though.

Answer 10

well if anyone slapped my child in the mouth step-parent or not they would be getting slapped in the mouth right back by ME!!