after 20 years you discover that your parents are not your real parents .
i cant imagine ...
2007-11-27 09:04:23 · 34 answers · asked by ink 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
By waking up, eating, going to work, etc.
2007-11-27 09:07:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow this is tough i cannot imagine what your going through. My dad just recently went thru the same thing about a week ago. He is 42 years old and found out his parents were not his real parents and that his real parents died years agon in a huge accident. He was adopted all these years and had no idea. He told me that no wonder he did not feel like he fit into the family. So know he feels like he is on the outside looking in because he will never know what his real parents are like. Ever! So I don't know what to say I am real sorry for you to have to go thru that. Just keep your head up and stay positive!
2007-11-27 09:33:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 'real' parents are the couple who have played the parenting role. Real parents are the people who have entered the spritual condition which follows from doing what they have done for twenty (?) years.
This follows from the more general fact that the basic reality of being human is spiritual, not physical. A sign of this is to be found in the difference between satisfaction and happiness. Satisfaction is unstable and depends on all kinds of outside things. Happiness is a spiritual condition. As someone put it, 'Happy people don't need to have fun.' Happy people don't even need to be satisfied.
I don't know why you are speculating about the effect on the adopted child of learning late that he was air-lifted out of some other nest. Bear in mind that adoptive parents are creatures of circumstance like all of us, but they are very special, unprejudiced people. They are the proof of the relationship between will-power and love.
2007-11-27 09:20:39 · answer #3 · answered by hindisikhnewaalaa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I couldn't begin to imagine how I'd feel but one thing I do know is that the" real parents" (meaning the ones that raised me) Probably love me a lot. Yes I could go on with my life. I would definately however be curious who my biological parents are though.
2007-11-27 09:15:31 · answer #4 · answered by kimber 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
But they are your "real" parents in the sense that they cared for you all those years, provided for you. All the things that parents are supposed to do. Yes, the biological link may be missing, but the emotional link is there. The question would be why you never knew this until now.
2007-11-27 09:09:18 · answer #5 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 20 years the people that loved and raised you ARE your real parents. Biology has nothing to do with it. Parenting is an emotion, love is an emotion. Your parents are those that raised you.
2007-11-27 09:08:40 · answer #6 · answered by smcp1965 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would be stunned at first. Then I would thank my "parents" for taking care of me. I would then find my real parents. If I did find my real parents though I don't know if I would live with them or not. I could go on with life. Easily.
2007-11-27 09:30:41 · answer #7 · answered by I♥Reba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because they aren't your biological parents doesn't change anything. All your memories and experiences are all the same. They are the same people who always loved you, took care of you and were there for you. Maybe they were wrong for not telling you but no one is perfect and sometimes grown ups just don't know what to do either.
2007-11-27 09:23:18 · answer #8 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can...it should make you feel special that a couple choose you or whoever over ever other child available!!And, they were and are your or the persons parents..(it take more than jumping in bed for 5 minutes and shooting out a baby to be a parent. ) I'm gonna post the first part of my poem for a Lady that helped w/understanding and input....check it out..it will help u understand
2007-11-27 09:13:17 · answer #9 · answered by Carol (Yeah I said it!) G. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I ever was in that situation it would be very hard but i wouldnt worry so much about the people that lied and said that they were my real parents i would be tryin to find my real parents
2007-11-27 09:09:51 · answer #10 · answered by lady-d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...i assume that after the initial shock wears off, you'd go about your life as your normally would -- with the exception of perhaps an intense curiosity as to who your birth parents are/were. there are many resources now to assist persons seeking their biological parents. i've seen both sides of this hypothetical situation - both of my cousins were adopted, when the found out -- one agonized for years about finding her birth mother (in the end she decided not to -- she was too afraid of rejection); the other one, her adopted brother, was completely disinterested -- he figured he already had a family & didn't need another one! go figure!
2007-11-27 09:09:47 · answer #11 · answered by napqueen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋