engagement ring?

Question

OK, my fiance bought me an engagement ring. Dont get me wrong, it is pretty but it is not the one I wanted. It has the same size diamonds and same total weight but the setting is different. He paid the same amount on the one he bought as the one I wanted. I dont know why he just didnt get me the one I wanted! Again, same size diamonds almost the same setting. I like prong set and he got me channel set, what I said I didnt like, why are men like this? Was he not listening or what?

For Lorilori, the price was not an issue, as I said it cost the same. And when we were looking he was saying he would pay say 2500 for one, the one i picked was only $1000 as was the one the bought.

Answer 1

DON"T COMPLAIN! He probably bought you the one he thought you would love. And that he thought would look great on you. Plus guys love to surprise their girls.

Answer 2

Are you asking for advice? Or are you just asking why he didn't listen to you?

Fact is, we can't tell you why he didn't take your suggestion. You'd have to ask him that. Maybe he has a good reason.

If you are asking what you should do, then think about your options. If it's really eating away at you that he didn't listen to you, you should talk to him. Say, "This is a beautiful ring, but I don't understand why you chose it, considering that I'd specified that I didn't want a channel set, etc. Is there a reason you chose this ring over the others that I said I'd like better?" If he gives you an honest answer about why he thought you'd like that one better (less easily damaged, works better with your finger, etc) then it will at least put your mind at ease that he was thinking of you.

If he instead hems and haws and says, "I don't know..it looked pretty, you don't like it?" Then you can gently say, "It's just not my style." He'll learn a valuable lesson in listening to you. If he can return it, you might even be able to get the ring you really want.

Be gentle, though. Ask questions and voice feelings -- don't be demanding or whiney. A ring is a gift -- I think it's important that it be a gift you're happy to have on your finger for the rest of your life, but it's still a gift.

Answer 3

Honey, I don't mean to be rude, but I feel as if you're acting a bit selfish. A ring is just an object. If you going crazy about such a simple situation, then you probably will not be able to handle other marital problems in the near future. You should be grateful that he got you something, especially when rings are quite expensive. I recommend that you watch the movie "Blood Diamond" so that you may get another perspective. Most diamonds come from Africa, where citizens are treated as slaves and undergo horrid tortures just for some simple stone.

Answer 4

Before you go off on "men", you need to ask yourself - was this ring and this engagement a big deal to you? Did you want this to be a surprise? If so, why? It sounds like he tried his best to make it a surprise, but he might have missed a few details - details that seem important to you, but I'm sure to him are absolutely irrelevant. If you have the exact ring in mind - just buy it together. It won't be a surprise, but this way you'll know exactly what you're getting. If you ask men, they can't understand why us women make a big deal out of this whole "surprise" thing. So, instead of pointing fingers at the whole male gender, just figure out what's important to you and send clear signals to your man; if you want an exact ring, just tell him what you want, or ask him to go pick out a ring together. But when you expect and demand a surprise, this might be exactly what you get.

Honestly, I would never trust my husband to pick out a piece of jewelry for me. We went and bought the engagement ring together a few weeks after our official engagement. I picked the exact one I wanted, and both of us were happy.

Answer 5

For some weird reason I've been thinking about this dilemma lately - completely unrelated and no g/f or marriage plans at all. Anyway, I might surprise her with something I picked for a proposal, but would go back to get what she wanted after that - after all she's the one who will be wearing it.
This guy is either dense and made a mistake, or is making a statement that you'll get what he decides to give - either one isn't really good. You should bring it up gently just to see if it's a mistake that he's embarrassed about and anxious to fix. If it were a price thing or a lot more expensive it's one thing but he may have some other inexplicable rational explanation. Otherwise - men are not like that - and you might reconsider.

Answer 6

This is a tough one. If you made it clear which ring you wanted, yet he bought another, that could be a major red flag. Why not ask him? Say "I love the ring you chose - you must have too, in order to choose it over the other one we looked at." Maybe he didn't realize he got the wrong one.

Answer 7

I would be grateful for what you got, some people don't even have enough food to make it through the day, and you're complaining cos you don't like the setting of your ring??? Sorry but I can't feel your pain.

Answer 8

Hello!! Some girls don't even get a ring. Be happy he spent time on going to the store and getting YOU something..ok so it's not the "ring of your dreams" but you're engaged to the man of your dreams, right? It's really special that he picked something out for you for you most guys hate doing that. So remember every time you look at it, it was something that he picked out for the girl he wants to be a part of his life forever.

Answer 9

He probably wanted to feel like there was some element of surprise to the whole thing, so he picked out one similar, but not exactly the one you wanted. My guy was like that too but I picked my ring and he is going to propse in the way he wants. Of course, he also could have gotten mixed up and thinks that is the one you wanted. If you like it, just keep it and enjoy it, he tried his hardest and it doesn't mean he loves you any less, even if he wasn't paying attention. Guys can be like that. Congratulations.

Answer 10

prong set are less durable in my opinion.. maybe the jeweler convinced him this setting would stay nicer long term..

ask him in a noncritical way how he chose which ring to get you.. if it doesn't seem like he is emotionally invested in the decision ask him about getting something else..

Answer 11

Tell him the truth. Tell him you had something different in mind and you would like to change it for the one you picked out. Best to say what is on your mind than to let it fester and annoy you.