Mother's only...i'm now 25 i've had a rocky relationship with my mother?

Question

She's been very critical,verbally abusive, and emotionally, always sided with her husbands. Sent me to mental hospitals, ex i came home drunk one day she called the cops about 5 cops were in my house. She's never believed in me said i would be a looser like my dad. But i have proved her wrong ..but she still treats me like im a step child. Tells me that my(half) lil sister will never be like me. She treats my sister totally different. but on the other hand when i have been in really bad sistuations like when i ran away with an abusive boyfriend she picked me up. And she still is very negative with me...always but doubts in my head about my fiance etc.

She's hurt me so much pple...but i still talk to her because she also has helped me when i've needed her the most & b/c my grandma lives with her. What do ya'll think of this? I'm now a mother of a 3 month old and i can't ever imagine doing this to my son.

Answer 1

While not verbally abusive, I have a similar relationship with my own mother. The only solution really is to not live with her and limit your contact. Some people simply ARE negative because they are unhappy with their own life and want to kick someone else. You happen to be convenient. I have two relatively useless siblings who are the stars that shine and apparently nothing will change that. One of the few things we don't argue about is cooking. We both have different preferences and methods, but it's one area that we both can enjoy. Perhaps there is something you both enjoy that you can share.

If there were a really good solution, I would tell you, but negative people are just like addicts. They are addicted to their negativity and until it bites them in the butt, they likely won't change.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Honey, look at your decisions.You ran off with an abusive b/f have a son and dad to help raise it, you show up drunk at her home......
How would YOU see someone in your position?
You CAN straighten out your life though.First no more drinking drugs or partying, next no more sex until you meet a guy who has a job,his own car, and can drive legally, his own place and pays his way and you are married to him first.
Until then See if you can get to work, get an education, and do something that PROVES you are a responsible adult.
Your mom is no angel I'd say, sounds like she has a hard time keeping a guy, but do NOT base your life and center it around what your mother is or is not.Be the mother she should have been.

Answer 4

You have a real love/hate relationship and its tough as heck.Your Mom seems to truly love you but has some issue which stops her from being totally supportive. You need to distance yourself fro her somewhat to avoid the abusiveness becouse it will leak over into your life with your own child. Talk to grandma and to mom lovingly but as little as possible and concentrate on working on yourself and your relationship with positive people. Good Luck

Answer 5

i dont know what advice to give you concerning ur mum, but i can tell u this, the rocky relationship i have with my own parents has made me be a better mum to my 3 kids. i am trying my hardest not to make the same mistakes they did because i know how painfull it was.
maybe you will never change her attitude and behaviour towards you. but you can try and change how it affects you as an adult. becoming a strong independant person , and finding others amongst ur family and friends that can give u support will mean that her crappy input will be less important to you
good luck x

Answer 6

Try seeing a different side of her. Try communicating thru one of your favorite hobbies. You can also talk to your grandma and ask her opinion.

Answer 7

There help out there. You need to get help. I would all so decided that home is not home anymore. I would move.