I am a 17 year old mother of a 2 month old daughter. I need advice on my situation. My boyfriends mother is so protective of him. (Hes also 17) She has said to me that she feels like I am taking her son away from her and that she has a problem with letting him go. She only lets him come over to my house when she says its ok to see his daughter. I let our daughter go to his house every other weekend and whatever days out of the week his parents would like to see her. But his mother is basically trying to keep a leash on her son. And I think it's a little ridiculous that shes taking her envy out on us. And I think its really ridiculous that he has to ask permission to come see his daughter at my house. He tells me he would rather be here than at his house because his house is crazy. And me and him like to have time together. And we like to have bonding time as a family.. But does anyone see where im coming from? Because his mother always makes me out to be the bad one.
2007-11-27 08:59:07 · 13 answers · asked by yummy♥mummy 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
She also usta harrass me about getting a paternity test done. And that she was going to keep her son away from me. And she admitted it was all because she is envious of me and her sons relationship. And lately she has been asking me if I have post partum depression and if I ever think of hurting my daughter. Some days I just think she tries to find stuff to use against me..
But I just want to know that someone else thinks shes a crazy biotch besides me!
2007-11-27 09:01:49 · update #1
How in the world would she be envious of two teenagers that made a baby that neither can support?
If you want family bonding, get married, move out of your parents house, and be responsible, and don't go on any type of welfare. You and he get to work your butts off to support that kid.
That leash she has on him now is one she should have had on him a year ago, before you two acted so irresponsibly and made that baby that your parents are supporting.
Let's not make another mistake by having any more sex, thus making more babies.
Wait until your daughter becomes sexually active and makes babies when she's not ready for them, and you'll be singing a different tune. Or, you'll realize that you need to have quite a stronghold on your kids so they don't wind up like you and your boyfriend.
2007-11-27 12:04:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does need to realize that even though her son is 17, he has a baby now so he is growing up faster than she wants him to. You really should sit down with her, just the two of you and talk. Tell her how you feel and how you are happy that she wants to be involved in her granddaughter's life. Let her know that you appreciate everything she is doing but you are a family now with her son and you would like her feel more like a family. Plan out your future goals, write them down, and show her. If you have a job, show her that you are saving money for the baby. Get her to see that you are mature. But most importantly, sit down with her 1 on 1 and have a heart to heart with her. She will really appreciate it. It will show her that you respect her and want her to be there for you and the baby. Right now it seems like that is a lack of communication between you two. When you call her house, talk to her for a minute. It sounds like she just wants things to go her way. And the way to get around this, is to get her respect, then she will ease up, let you be with your b/f more, give him freedom, and she will still feel in control a little. Edit to this and tell me what you think about my advice. I'd really like to help.
2007-11-27 17:13:07 · answer #2 · answered by Karla 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, his mom sounds nuts. That said.... I don't think there is much you can both do where he is living under her roof. Is there any way he can move out? Either to your house, or you both get a place together? Bottom line is, if he's still living at home and even remotely financially dependant on his mother, then his mother can still call the shots. Sucks, but not much you can do unless he becomes fully independant. Good luck!
2007-11-27 17:50:19 · answer #3 · answered by Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's a mother. Her son is a 17 year old child. Yes, I know he is also a father, but by law he is still a child and subject to the rules she sets. Of course she resents you. Don't YOUR parents resent him for "ruining your life"? If you were my daughter, I wouldn't like HIM very much either. However, all those resentments need to be set aside for the good of your daughter. She needs a family that is functional and bonded in her best interests. Soon your baby's daddy will be 18 and it will be up to him to make some decisions and face off against his mother--if he so chooses.
2007-11-27 17:13:32 · answer #4 · answered by sursumcorda 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like your all being immature, you need to understand her love for her son is the same as yours for you child. If you want to prove how mature and responsible you are get a job and a place of your own with her son the babies father. That is usually what families do ,so until then you can't blame her skepticism. She would like nothing more than to see you and her son live in a happy home together, that's what we all want for our kids. We just don't like to see our kids make mistakes and live in poverty.
2007-11-27 17:12:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She deffinently has issues. Either he is an only child or he's the youngest. I feel bad for you, because I do believe that you need bonding time. He is in a bad situation because of his age and going to school, etc. If I were you, I would keep it as pleasant as possible for his sake, but keep your distance from her at the same time. Maybe when he gets out on his own, it will be a lot different.
2007-11-27 17:15:51 · answer #6 · answered by serin7300 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all he is a minor, you are a minor.You BOTH live with your parents.
Do either of you have a job, your own car ,your own home and pay your own way for EVERYTHING?I doubt it.
His parents and your should have never allowed a baby to be made in the first place.
His mother is doing HER best to make sure no more babies are made until your b/f is able to stand on his own 2 feet financially,otherwise how will he support you and yours and his baby?
He isnt ready for all that responsibility yet until he can do this and he needs an education etc in order to do this, and if you do not understand that then this is why his mother behaves this way towards you hon.
2007-11-27 18:06:09 · answer #7 · answered by Joe F 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
ya she is a little crazy but you have to see where she is coming from give her a test don't let your baby go to her house any more since she thinks it not his.you both our 17 so really you both can do what ever you want i had my own apartment at 17 and it worked out fine you watch and see it will be ok
2007-11-29 11:27:17 · answer #8 · answered by sarakay3124 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your "MIL" does sound crazy. Is she perchance an adoptive mother of your bf? In my experience they especially have boundary issues.
No real advice, I hope it gets easier as time goes by. Maybe she could get some counseling.
Congrats on your new motherhood.
2007-11-27 17:39:21 · answer #9 · answered by Adoptionissadnsick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid i agree with you, she sounds like a jealous crazy *****!! If i was your partner i would move the hell out of her house and into yours, i can't believe he has to have his mothers permission to come see you and your baby,that's just ridiculous.
2007-11-27 17:13:50 · answer #10 · answered by Jorja and Rykah's Mummy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋