& we seemed to have a great connection, etc. When I met him, he told me that he had been broken up with his 1-year girlfriend for 3 months. I found out that was a lie, & they were still "hanging out" just a few weeks before he met me! Things started changing recently between us, & he told me that "he's not completely over his ex." He says he has no desire to be with her, & he loves me, & wants to be with me! So after I got VERY suspicious over some "red flags" I saw, I started listening to his voicemail on his cell phone! I know how shady & wrong that is, but I felt like I had a reason to & I was right! It turns out that they still talk A LOT during the day. They might see each other too. I live about 45 minutes away from him, & they only live 5 minutes apart! I stay with him 5 nights a week (including all weekend long), & we talk on the phone when I don't. I don't want to sound like a crazy, psycho chick & tell him how I invaded his privacy. What do I do? How can I catch him cheating?
2007-11-27 07:48:47 · 25 answers · asked by Lost in Love 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The voicemails I've heard her leave him talk about seeing each other, exchanging Christmas gifts, and "I guess you're at your night job," (but he doesn't have a night job)! They're definitely "not just friends." I have answered his cell phone twice right in front of him when she has called, so she knew about me at some point. He just ignores her calls when I'm around any other time. He says she calls still because she's still missing him, etc. I just don't know if she thinks him & I broke it off or what? Would it be wrong if I called HER and asked what was going on? Maybe he's playing BOTH of us? I have her phone number, and know where she lives. Maybe she knows he's with me, but doesn't care? She recently changed her MySpace page to "in a relationship." I asked him to play his voicemails for me the other day, and he wouldn't...so now he's deleting everything out of his phone too!
2007-11-27 07:50:11 · update #1
I am sorry to say this but move on!! He is totally disrespecting you and being a liar to you and his ex. You do not deserve to be treated like that. And why would you want to be with some one if he lies like that in the first 3 months! Don't wait till he cheats....if he hasn't already! Good luck!!
2007-11-27 07:53:30 · answer #1 · answered by LO 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I dont' knwo how you can catch him cheating, but just tell him that you are suspciosu of him since you have answered his cell when she calls, tell him that you are not comfortable with them still having talking on the phone. If he says he doesn't want anything with his ex and that he loves you, then why is he even talking to his ex in the first place. Girl just tell him straight up that you are truly uncomfortable. If you have that girls cell number go head and call her and ask what it is going on, and if she is woman enough she will tell you the truth. From what I've ready I can tell you right now that he is hiding something and most likely he is cheating on you, why would he erase his voicemails if they didn't say anything bad!!! Dont' go to her home because if anything happens she can press charges on you for being in her property.
2007-11-27 07:55:46 · answer #2 · answered by ♥KmaS♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He got into a new relationship too fast, for one. And second, life is too short to be in a relationship where you have doubts and mistrust. Especially since you have been doing things out of character because of your uncertainty. The one thing you know for a fact is that he has been lying from the start. You don't need any more justification than that to go on living your life happily!! "The only thing the wrong man can do is keep the right man away" << words to live by
2007-11-27 07:53:56 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
for real girl, let him go, i mean yeah he sounds like he's great to be around and what not and im sure have strong feelings for him but is this the kind f erson you want to be with... if he is lying and cheating now what makes you think he is going to stop? Get out why you still have some pride, just stop going to his house and calling him, he will either rack his brain trying to figure out what happened or he will figure out that you know, dont give him the satisfaction of showing how much you care though, and do not go to the other girlsh ouse or call her, im sure she knows exactly what is going on, unless thats why she thinks he has a night job...... just write her a myspace message, and say you arent sure if she is being played too or not but you wanted to let her know and if she did know then maybe she will feel even a little bad for messing with someone(you) who was nice enough to have heads up for her... whatever you do, let this loser go.... the nie ones always have something up there sleeve anyways
2016-05-26 03:30:30 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, how many warning signs do you require from this guy?
He's confused, that's for sure - but clearly, he isn't confused about still seeing her, now is he?
I would break it off and tell him (if true...) you're looking for more in a relationship and he doesn't fit the "bill" for you right now.
-I might add, you've done a good job of doing all BUT moving in with him, and you should slow yourself in relationships with guys down a tad, don't you think? I mean, how many times are you going to shack up with guys till you find the right one? Know what I mean? Not a good way to get to know a guy or have a serious relationship built on trust and actions.
Grace
2007-11-27 07:54:41 · answer #5 · answered by bunnyONE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because she is calling doesn't mean he is necessarily cheating on you. It does sound very suspicious, but if you start accusing him of cheating, he's just going to get mad at you. I would tell him that he needs to stop all contact with her until he is completely over her. If he really loves you and wants to be only with you, he will respect that and break off contact with her. She probably could care less if he's dating someone or not. If she wants him back, chances are she is going to keep pushing and pushing until he gives in and takes her back. Don't be afraid to take charge and tell him exactly what's up. He should respect you enough to listen, but let's face it, most guys never know what they have right in front of them. Let him know that if he doesn't stop talking to her (at least until he doesn't have feelings for her anymore) that it's over between you two. Let him know that you trust him, but that he is putting himself in a tempting situation, and that if he really loves you, he won't jeopardize what you have for some ex that he supposedly doesn't want to be with. If he can't respect that, then he is obviously a scumbag and he's just trying to play you. If you want to find out if he is cheating on you, try heading over to his place unexpectedly, and stop calling before you come over every day. Look for cars in the driveway you don't recognize when you pull up, but try not to sound too accusing. One last thing you could try would be to stop going around him so much. Maybe he is having second thoughts about the relationship because he feel smothered. Give him some space and let him decide what he wants.
2007-11-27 07:59:46 · answer #6 · answered by brookeandjohn05 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well its not good to date someone like that.
You shouldnt have listened to his phone though unless there was proof before...
But if he isnt over his ex tell him to go back to his ex and not play with your mind...
I know its hard but girl you have to stand up for yourself dont let someone sit there and hurt you!
You need to just confront him about the voicemail.. just grow the balls and do it... tell him that if there is something going on behind your back then you just want him to choose Her if he is still in love with her, and if he claims he is not and that he loves you, tell him that if he loves you he has to let her go, not talk to her, maybe get his number changed if that will help..
2007-11-27 07:54:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon, he's playing both of you.
Stop being a psycho invading his privacy and just move on. The guy is a creep. Seriously, why do women put up with this garbage when it's obvious he's two-timing? Dumbass.
2007-11-27 07:54:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok, i think deleting the phone messages b4 u get to them is extremely suspicious and this whole situation sounds like theres smthg going on between them. but, if u really like this guy, then u should probably find out for sure b4 breaking up with him. maybe tell ur boy it'll be nice to double date and invite her and her boy too (since she's in a relationship)... she'll fess up about her boy
2007-11-27 07:54:58 · answer #9 · answered by gorgeous 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to cut him lose from the sounds of it. Its not fair to you to go behind your back like he is, and lie about being in a relationship with you. He needs to figure out his feelings for her before enganging anything with you any further.
I know it will probably be hard but you don't really want to be played like that, do you?
2007-11-27 08:00:17 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs. N™ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋