ask her to lose weight??

Question

I got set up and met a girl for a date yesterday, she's so cool and I think we could get along great! But there's a problem, she's, I'd say no less than thirty pounds over weight and she'd be smokin hot if she was just ten or fifteen pounds smaller. I'm a very fit person (not necessarily skinny but in very good shape) and I take a lot of pride in that. Is there a way I can get the message across to her that I want her to lose weight without hurting her?
Has anyone out there been able to totally get over their partner's looks and just deal with it?

(I'm 20 and she's 19 it sounds really self-absorbed and shallow, but think about it, attraction matters)

ok maybe you didn't read the last part, think about it damnit... if some three hundred pound guy asked one of you girls out what would you're initial reaction be? Would you rather feel a six pack on a guy/girl or a beer gut I know that's not all there is, but think about it if you take care of yourself y can't you expect that of your other?

Thanks for being mature enough for those of you who recognise that it does matter!

Answer 1

I agree; people like to act all high and mighty and say that looks don't matter but they do to an extent. Maybe you could try to get her into more active hobbies (tennis, hiking, kayaking, whatever)

Answer 2

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Answer 3

It's true it does sound shallow, lol only to a point. I understand where you are coming from. You into hiking, backpacking, or anything physical that you think she might enjoy? Get her to go do some things that are active, try to get her to take care of herself in a more indirect way. Unless you are extremely close, you cannot come right out and tell her that you think she needs to lose weight (you obviously figured that out) so try to do things that make her feel like she figures it out on her own. Playing some sport with her, or doing something like backpacking or hiking, something active will help get the point across without hurting her feelings. this is one of those sticky situations that could get you in trouble no matter what you do, good luck to you, you obviously do care about her despite the way she looks or you wouldn't ask a question like that.

Answer 4

Wow, you just sound like a real jackass. If you can't get over her weight, then just keep her as a friend. The answer to this question doesn't take a genius. Besides a women can still be beautiful without weighting 100 pounds, I mean come on now. You should enjoy her for all she's worth, women are the goddesses of the earth no matter what the weigh. Personally I think all men should be down kissing our feet.

Answer 5

You've only had one date, you're not in a relationship. You have no right to dictate to her about her appearance. If you're really that into her, you wouldn't care about the extra weight, so doesn't the fact that you have doubts tell you something?
I agree that you are being shallow and I suspect what really bothers you is the reaction you'll get from your friends if they find out you're dating a fat chick. Don't lead the poor girl on into thinking that you're interested in having a relationship with her and let her go gently. Hopefully she'll meet someone less superficial than you who'll see her for the lovely person she is.

Answer 6

Ok let me put it this way. You will really really hurt her feelings if you say anything to her! Seriously it is shallow. and you know it. Initial attraction matters but let me tell you when you get older and have a pot belly and are losing your hair and she is 60 lbs heavier than her ideal weight from having your children then do looks really matter? I know that is jumping ahead but you have to realize that no one stays in the shape they were in when they were 19-20!

Most people when they meet their future spouse are usually in great shape. They date, they marry, next thing you know you are busy with life and have no time to keep up your 19-20 yr old shape. Will she still love you when you have love handles? Will you love her despite hers?

If you really want to change her then you should find activities that will keep both of you active. Like instead of saying to her hey go jump on the tread mill...you say "hey, I would love to go canoeing. How about you go with me?" Or..."Hey let's go to the park and go hiking" Or...get a membership at the gym and both go together...DH and I would go together...he'd go running on the track and I'd go swimming or go to the tread mill or bike. You may just find after a while that she is someone special to you regardless of her looks. I've met some of the prettiest people that are ugly once you get to know them...so you really should think of that first and foremost.

Answer 7

If you truly like her and want to date her I think you should but under no circumstances should you mention her weight. Just start taking her on really active dates, go hiking, biking, canoeing, roller/ice skating. Skip dinners out, cook for her-something really healthy,yet delicious. It's very likely once you start dating she will pick up on how important physical fitness is to you and join in. If not well then you just need to decide which is more important being happy with someone or how they look. Good luck.

Answer 8

properly, possibly the reason they have been given obese interior the 1st place became into because of the fact they have been lazy. If that became into the case, they are no longer somewhat inquiring for a thank you to shed pounds; they're inquiring for an uncomplicated thank you to shed pounds. I recommend if a guy or woman isn't used to attempting to stay in shape, he's probable unlikely to be too influenced to commence working miles on the treadmill. it extremely is all only laziness, and the obese human beings searching for those miracle diets do no longer want to ought to stand the merciless reality that with a view to shed pounds, they're gonna ought to a million) consume much less and a pair of) exercising greater.

Answer 9

hon, there is NO nice way to tell a girl she needs to lose weight. what i would recommend doing is suggesting going jogging, hiking or walking together. if you did this a few times with her every week, maybe she would start to get toned and lose weight. on another note...
could you maybe consider that true beauty lies skin-deep? it's great that your some exercise-guru who likes thin women, but if you feel good around her and she makes you happy, then that is what matters. not her appearance. i think you should try to appreciate her inner beauty. hope i helped :)

Answer 10

the key is not to say it out loud. Try asking her to go walking/jogging with you. Take hikes, lead by example by getting the salad. I am a girl and i would take the hint any day. however, this dosen't give you the right to tell someone how they look.