My girlfriend and I have irreconcilable differences and I need to end this now before things get any worse. Being patheticly attached as I am It has taken me months to muster up the resolve to just tell her its over, but the problem is, that its her Birthday this weekend on Sunday (2nd December).
I'm thinking this far in the week, since I won't be seeing her till Thursday anyway, which is 3 days before her 18th Birthday. Should I break up with her, or at least wait till Monday?
2007-11-27 07:23:16 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Aw Jeez, people read my other question to see how she's been treating me and how I've worshipped and let her walk all over me before you call me a jerk.
2007-11-27 07:55:54 · update #1
Ow. Really tough position. Dumping her before her birthday -- altho cowardly and insensitive -- will save you any phony acclamations of love and affection, not to mention $ for a gift. But waiting until after assures her a great day. But then boom -- she gets dumped and she'll think her whole b-day and everything you did on it was meaningless. I think that will hurt more (I'm a girl). My advice -- be a gentleman -- explain to her face-to-face how you feel. Tell her you have no intention of purposely hurting her, but that you have been thinking of becoming single again for a while now, and you didn't want to insult her by "pretending" everything was fine even tho it's her special day. If she has good friends, they'll take good care of her on the big day. During the breakup -- Make sure it doesn't happen ON her exact birthday -- leave her with a small gift such as a single orchid or a hand written letter expressing what she has meant to you. She will be hurt -- but she will respect you and tell everyone how special you are. Having good character is what allows you to look in the mirror each day and like what you see. It's priceless. Start now and you will always be able to treat women the way they deserve to be treated. Don't be the clich'e cad. Not cool. Good luck, and tell her Happy Birthday from me!
2007-11-27 07:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just wait until after her birthday. Monday would be fine. Treat her really well on her birthday and she might not be so pissed when you ditch her the next day.
That would be the selfless thing to do. Breaking up with her before then might save you some sanity, but it also might ruin her 18th birthday, which is terrible.
Get her a crappy present if you do this. That'll do more good than bad.
Of course, if you don't think she's really attached to you, then it might be a relief to both parties involved to end it now.
2007-11-27 07:29:15 · answer #2 · answered by nperez0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was 20 years old, my then boyfriend, took me out on my birthday and gave me a beautiful green stone necklace (I still have it). He gave me the impression that this present was a statement of his love for me (at least that is what I interpreted it at that time - now looking back, I see it in a different way). The following week he broke up with me.
I was twice as devastated, than if he had done it BEFORE my birthday, then I would not have assumed that it was cementing our relationship, instead of the opposite.
I feel, personally, that you break up with her now. It is going to be hard on her. However, if you see her on her birthday and give her a present, she is going to be as gullible as I was, as a young person, and think that you are cementing YOUR relationship.
Honesty is always the best policy, even though honesty sometimes hurts badly. As you probably have heard, time heals all and - this too shall pass.
2007-11-27 07:31:12 · answer #3 · answered by Maureen S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion if you've waited this long, it would probably be the gentle thing to do. You really have to weigh out the situation. I mean, how misrable are you?? Are you that misrable that you can't wait a couple more days?? You'll get to a point in life where you will realize, that you can't always live for everyone else's feelings or you will end up getting screwed at some point. You are the most important being, and you shouldn't do something to or for someone else if you are not comfortable doing it!
2007-11-27 07:31:04 · answer #4 · answered by evaj13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do it now. Look at it this way. If you act like everything is ok on her birthday, and you guys are together, things will just get harder for you to break it off. I was in this position before, but he understood. If she understands, and is on the same page as you, then she should be okay. Don't prolong this. Just get it over with now. Good luck!!
2007-11-27 07:27:28 · answer #5 · answered by bethica20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should do what you want to do. If you break up with her she might become sad but things will end up to be better. If you think about it if you dont break up with her till after her birthday you will buy her a present maybe and then break up with her which will make her even more sad. by giving her a present she will feel like everything is going okay and then when you break up with her a little bit later she will feel worse.
2007-11-27 07:27:56 · answer #6 · answered by Crazyclown 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, either do it today or wait til Monday. But don't wait too long because right after her birthday is Christmas, then New Years, then Valentines day. It will be hard when ever you do it. Good luck.
2007-11-27 07:28:57 · answer #7 · answered by Pam H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it now!!!!
omg ur crazy I think that it would be waaaaaay worse to do it the day after... she'll probably be heartbroken if you tell her now but I personally would like it if a guy told me before my birthday because it would be messed up to do it the day right after and know you went to my party and acted like you liked me but didn't want me at all!
2007-11-27 07:27:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be best for you to just end it now. It will save your money and give her a chance to have some real fun on her birthday.
2007-11-27 07:27:17 · answer #9 · answered by Lil Bit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I would wait till after her birthday so she can actually enjoy her birthday and not be upset.
When I was still dating (now engaged), my old boyfriend almost broke up with me 2 days before my birthday but he waited until after my birthday and Valetine's Day- I actually appreciated him doing that since I was still able to enjoy both days and spend time with him (we were still good friends after) instead of crying my eyes out both days.
Unless you absolutely can't stand her and it's that type of problem then I'd wait.
2007-11-27 07:26:39 · answer #10 · answered by Madison 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋