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I have two sons'.. ages are 8 years old and 4 years old.
I admit that I am a bit over protective.
Having said that, my sister was razzing me at Thanksgiving because I don't allow my children to watch Spongebob, Lazy Town, Fairy Odd Parents, Transformers, Ninja Turtles, etc.
I just allowed my son to get a Nintendo DS and he is 8.
I don't allow them to drink pop. At this point, they don't even have an interest in it.
Am I hindering their development as boys?
I DEFINITELY encourage educational activities and they are very well rounded.
Do you think I am being too sheltering?
Just need opinions, because I thought I was doing right by them, but my sister thinks I need to loosen the reigns...

2007-11-27 07:05:36 · 32 answers · asked by Jen W 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting Grade-Schooler

32 answers

You're doing fine. THEY'RE nuts. I decided Spongebob was NOT for children when I watched an episode in which Spongebob and his sidekick thought they had killed the health inspector, got scared, and so they put his body into the trunk of a car, drove it to a remote area, and buried it in a sand bar. Not, not, not for children!

You are going to regret the Nintendo. Frankly, I'd get rid of it if I were you - your children are too young. They don't actually need that kind of training to become violent killers. I don't know much about Lazy Town or Fairy Odd Parents. Transformers are kind of cool (probably for kids in the 10 - 15 age group, anyway), Ninja Turtles were pretty cool (15 years ago anyway - I don't know if they've changed).

I didn't let my kids watch Barney, because that show is just downright annoying.

Now my daughter is 19. She has never taken a drink, is a virgin, doesn't smoke, and has excellent moral values. She doesn't do these things because she doesn't want to live with the consequences, not because I'm overbearing. She got good grades in school, is hard working and an excellent college student and employee. In fact, last month her boss called me because she admires her so much and just wanted me to know how impressed she was with her.

My son is 13. He is (in spite of having mild autism and having to work REALLY hard in school to keep up) very helpful around the house, very thoughtful, makes good grades, he is a 2nd Class Boy Scout, on the Varsity wrestling team (he works hard at this, but mostly he's varsity because there isn't anyone else in his weight class who has the grades), he also does track and cross country. He is active in our church and loves children. He's a boy any mother would be proud of.

Our nieces and nephews were raised more like your sister's children. Probably even worse. The oldest is on her own now, at 18. She has been for a year. She can't live with her Aunt even though she desperately needs the help because she uses foul language (she said the 'P' word at the Thanksgiving dinner table!), and steals from people. She is currently living with three girlfriends and out of a job. Not that she is looking too hard for one. One of her roommates is pregnant, and our niece thinks she is being b*tchy because she won't (and never has) paid her rent. She had an opportunity to have a scholarship to go to college, but didn't want to because there wasn't anybody she knew in that town (only 50 miles away from where she is now!). She has gauged her ear such that she was wearing a marker cap in it when we saw her last week.
With the exception of two (out of seven), all of our nieces and nephews are obese. Not that that stopped them from each bringing a 1.5 liter of sugary pop to Thanksgiving dinner, purchased for them by their egg donor. They argue, they bicker, they fight, they use bad language. One of our two nephews is cold and says unbelievably cruel things. He appears distant and unfeeling.

Now, I'm not saying this is all the influence of television and video games - both of the women who raised these children did a terrible job. One of them has three children from three different men. Is 38 years old and on her third marriage.

Only one of her children is actually from a marriage. She has abandoned her children twice to run off with men she met on the internet. The second time she ran off, we wound up taking care of our nephew for 9 months.

The other one was a slob, and spent all of her own time on the internet. As the 'mother' of four children, she mostly paid no attention to them, except to be verbally cruel. Now, although her oldest child is 18, and desperately needs her, and her youngest is 8, she has moved halfway across the country and never sees her own children. They live with their father, except the oldest whose father isn't in the picture and who lives on her own (mooching off her roommates).

What I am saying is this. Tell you sister to mind her own business. Let her know that if, in ten years, her children are better off than yours, that you will consider her methods for your next batch of children.

You're not overprotective. You are a parent. That is what parents are for! To protect their children and raise them in a cocoon of parental love and caring. Solidifying their values until they are strong enough to face societal ills.

She wants to undermine you because she knows you are right, she feels guilty about it, and want to drag you down with her. Thousands of generations of men have been raised without the 'benefit' of tv and video games. So don't believe ANYBODY when they tell you that your children won't be normal without exposure to these things. Just because everybody else is abnormal, doesn't mean you have to follow them. In fact, it is more likely that your children will be one of the few tolerable people left on the planet in a few decades.

Just one more thing. Don't EVER ask a question like this again. You know what you're about. You don't need to parent by poll - you're already rejecting the things the world is throwing at you because you know what is right. Well then, KNOW you are right about this, or eventually, you will fall right into the pit with the rest of them. Don't keep questioning your methods if they are working. You've looked around, is what everybody else is doing working? I don't think so.

My husband and I battled for years with our daughter. The old teenage adage "Everybody else is doing it!" finally came true. She literally was the ONLY one who wasn't allowed to do these ridiculous things. Other parents would gauge their decisions off ours. Well, some of them, anyway. If our daughter was allowed to do it, then theirs could, too. The thing is - most of these kids are into alcohol, drugs and sex. Their lives are going nowhere, and when they finally do, their are going to have plenty of regrets. Who needs more regrets?

Raise those boys to have manners and respect, to engage in polite conversation, to respect their bodies and the bodies and minds of women. Give them self-respect and talk about relationships. Give them the gift of time for reading, playing, imagination - time most children now squander watching tv and playing video games. Give them the gift of learning how to interact and develop relationships, rather than all their play be parallel play. They will be gems.

2007-11-27 07:49:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 6

I will say I commend you for having an active role with your children. Too often these days parents simply don't care about what their children see or do.
I will agree with you on the Ninja Turtles. I also am against Bratz and Pokemon. Transformers, ehhh.....
Fairly Odd Parents grant it doesn't really teach anything valuable, but I will allow my kids to watch it sometimes.
I actually love Lazy Town. I think it's a great program and does teach a lesson. They encourage things like exercise, which is good.
Now, my kids (and I admit me and my husband too) love Spongebob! He may not teach a boat load of valuable lessons, but it's funny!
I think it could be possible for you to let go a little. Experience has taught me that kids will find some way to rebel at one point or another. And the tighter you hold on, sometimes the worse they end up. You don't want them becoming teenagers and doing everything under the sun that is bad for them? You need to be firm, but teach responsibility. When you see something you don't agree with on on of the shows, talk to them about it rather than banning it altogether.
Oh, and my kids are not allowed soda either.

2007-11-27 07:44:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

Well asked her if she went over on her text mess. minutes?? When she says no, then ask her why she didn't answer your text mess. cuz she could have lost her phone or just been busy. Tell her you want to go see a movie, and wondered if she'd wanna go along? I recently went to "The Blind Side", with Sandra Bullock, and it was a great humanitarian story. I really enjoyed it. Perhaps she'd like that. Or another movie that you like.?? Or take her bowling,,,, Does she have a boyfriend? Well don't over think it. She sounds nice. Maybe your problem isn't weather she likes you or vise versa, but rather find a common ground, Something you both like, and share a similiar interest in. Don't let the whole weight thing enter the equation... because a good relationship isn't based on one's outside appearance...cuz that shouldn't matter at all. I'm female, and I've been married to my best friend for just over 35 years, and we are both over 200 pounds. Its not about that. In fact, if I were single (which I'm not) and looking (which I'm not) He would have to be: 1- Over 60 2- Over 225 lbs. 3- Have great eyes ( preferrably green) 4- Be Employed 5- Be independent, and mechanically inclined 6- Be at least 5ft. 10" 7- Be my friend "first" 8- Be a good listener 9- Be able to read me, know what I want before I ask 10- Have terrific arms that will wrap around me, at a moments notice GEEZ, I just described my hubby....... Just know that we women are not all that difficult to figure out. We have and want the same things you do. And if our needs are not getting met, we will let cha know. Give her a box of chocolates, and be prepared to help her eat them. lol Smile alot,,,and be yourself. Good Luck.

2016-04-06 00:53:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Let your sister say whatever she wants but don't let it get you down or questioning your parenting skills. Soda causes a lot of cavities and your actually making your children into healthy little people. My parents always watered down juice and to this day I still prefer watered down juice. Its less sugar intack and tastes better then water alone. My advise is to grown with your children. There are programs our children do not gain access to they are 2, 5, and 9. The nine year old has expressed a desire to watch some programs we considered questionable but we spoke with her about why we were not watching those programs and in the end she agreed with us. What's most important is that your boys are happy and healthy. Being open with them about why spongebob is not appropriate for them and asking them if they agree or not is a great way to find out how your children feel about not watching various cartoons, you may find they don't really care either way or they trust you to build a healthy foundation. The more discussion you have about feelings over the "little" things now, the more open your kids will be with you when they are growing up.

You are the parent of your sons and you are building them a foundation. You are also the one that will have easy to get along with teens who face real issues that you can help them through.

2007-11-27 09:03:06 · answer #4 · answered by HALLALJPAA 4 · 1 0

I have to say that I dont disagree with you about spongbob. There are just some cartoons that arent meant for kids and I see that as one of them.
Come on.. Spongbob and patrick learn a BAD word?! I love that show but when it comes to my kids there are some habits I would rather them NOT pick up from cartoons!
as far as lazy town- Im not against that one.. its a little strange however.
fairly oddparents- I can see that one being a bad one, just because it seems like it would teach the kid that all they have to do is wish for something and it comes true. no being thankful for the things that you get and the boy just seems very greedy!
I dont have boys that are tv old enough yet so Im not sure about transformers or ninja turtles.

soda isnt good for a kid anyway! you are doing them a favor in the long run for not allowing them to drink the stuff.. GOOD FOR YOU!

If you dont like something then dont. I would say you are doing just fine. there is NOTHING wrong with wanting educational/ and a well rounded development without the shows on tv!
we own 2 tvs but dont have cable/satellite or anything, so all my kids get to watch are the dvds that I choose. (which mostly are educational things)
Thanks my opinion on it though.

2007-11-27 07:18:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

I am somewhat particular about what my kids watch. That being said, they really like spongebob and fairly oddparents. When they were littler they ADORED lazy town. I don't think any of those 3 are bad for kids. My kiddos are 7 and 5. The video games? I say keep them away forever. My husband is a video game junkie (my mother in law coined the term "vidiot") and I don't want my kids to get all into them like that. Pop isnt' good for them, no reason to give them that, you said they don't want it anyway, why push it? All this being said, tell your sister to mind her business. If your boys are happy and healthy, you're not doing anything wrong. Every Mom is different.

2007-11-27 09:44:28 · answer #6 · answered by amyguesswhat 4 · 1 0

I think you're over doing it a bit. I don't see what's wrong with cartoons. If you're talking about the movie Transformers then no they should not watch that they are too little still. It's rated PG-13 any way. I don't know what Lazy Town is. My son watches Spongebob and other Nick shows. He enjoys them. He gets all A's and B's in school and is advanced so I don't think they are harming him. He's allowed soda too, but not too much of it. He has limits. I don't know, if you think you're doing what's right then don't stop now!

2007-11-27 09:32:40 · answer #7 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 0 1

You should loosen up on the cartoons thing but don't just let them watch crap like south park and family guy all them cartoons are NOT for children even simpsons might be bad for them but i don't see anything wrong with spongebob or the fairy odd parents,good joke on keepin them away from soda,it's bad for them i plan to keep my kids away from that stuff to,i was brought up pretty much ONLY drinking soda it's sad,and it can cause kidney problems and alot of others

2007-11-27 07:10:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

You might want to loosen up a bit on the 8yr old. You don't want kids to make fun of him at school. Watch the show, whether it's sponge bob or something else, with him! (after the 4yr old goes to bed) This will give you bonding time and a chance to talk about what you saw. You can use this as a learning tool. You can ask ?'s like "Why do you think Sponge Bob is such good friends with Patrick?", "Do you think they could have made a better decision than....", "Why do you think Plankton is so jealous of Mr. Krabs?"....Use the shows to your advantage. And if you see something you DON'T like, simply state that! "I don't like that they did this because....., What do you think?"!! I have done this with my kids and now THEY (ages 9,6 &3) tell me if they think something is inappropiate!!

2007-11-27 08:59:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

maybe a little over protective but that is okay

i would like to know what is wrong with the show sponge bob squarepants..... i have seen every episode and it is an amusing and entertaing show for younger kids to whatch

lazy town is good to because it shows kids how to have self confidence, to practise things ect. every show has a great moral to it...

if anything a d.s. is prob the worst thing on your list because it can really effect your wrists and may cause seizures because of some games have flashing lights so beware but most games have warnings so yea........\

and pop is not bad if you drink it in a moderation.... say every friday they can have a cup/can of pop and maybe some chips but once a week.... this can be used a a reward for going through a long school filled week

best of luck loosning up ;)

2007-11-27 08:56:01 · answer #10 · answered by Fain 4 · 0 1

you definitely need to loosen the reigns a bit. let them be kids. they are just harmless, childrens cartoons. a littleTV now and then never hurt anyone.
and trust me on this one... when i was in elementry school, i had quite a few friends who's parents restricted them from things like TV.. and they were VERY rebelious as middle school and highschoolers. they got sick of being the "uncool" kids because they werent up to speed with the "cool" stuff like everyone else.. and they ended up doing a lot of things in attempt to prove themselves cool- far worse then watching an episode of spongebob.

holding the reigns to tightly can, and probably will, come back to bite you in the butt.

2007-11-27 19:21:44 · answer #11 · answered by sayjo_x33 2 · 1 0

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