I am with this guy and he is wanting kids sometime but I have been in this birthcontrol situation and now I don't know if I can have kids or not but most likely not, but how do you tell him that?
2007-11-27 06:57:08 · 13 answers · asked by alexandria w 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Well, I was told for years that I could never have children and I beleived my doctors. But guess what.....I now have a wonderful little girl who was born naturally from me who is going to celebrate her first birthday in a week from saturday. What you need to realise is don't beleive everything you hear. Yes you may not be able to have children but that is a bridge you will cross when you are ready to start having children. For now if this guy is talking with you about children you need to be honest with him and tell him that there is a possiblity that you may not be able to have children but that doesn't mean you don't want them. If he truly loves you it won't be an issue and you will find a way to make it work either through adoption or through a seregate (sp).....
Good Luck,
Momma_Bear
2007-11-27 07:11:20 · answer #1 · answered by the_morris_bears 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him. It's scary and it's hard but in the end, it needs to be done. Most men are very supportive in this kind of situation and will tell you that it's ok, they love you and it doesn't matter.
And if kids are meant to be in your future, they will be. Either through adoption, guardianship, IVF or you may get pregnant on your own. I was told no kids, no way, and here I am, pregnant with my second (and my boy is only 14 months old) so it does happen.
If he wants to be with you, you'll work it out. If he doesn't, better to tell him now and get it over with than wait and end up wasting your time with someone who doesn't deserve your wonderful self!
Good Luck!
2007-11-27 15:04:55 · answer #2 · answered by ChefMel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the relationship is getting serious enough to talk about having kids, then you need to just tell him. It won't be easy, and it may be a deal breaker. But it isn't fair to lead him on and let him think you could be pregnant if you know it isn't possible. If you haven't talked to a doctor about it, then do that first. You may be worrying for no reason. But if you know that there is a good chance that you can't have kids, then you owe it to your boyfriend to let him know. If he can't deal with it, then it will be hard to end the relationship, but in the end, he deserves to have kids if he wants to, and you deserve to live with someone who can deal with it.
2007-11-27 15:50:16 · answer #3 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would check on the facts before I brought it up. Talk to your OB-GYN at your next annual exam. Get a second opinion, if necessary. Find out if there are any steps you can take to have children when you're ready. Medically, I mean.
Actually, most people don't know if they can have kids until they try. Don't bother worrying him without concrete information, including what your options are.
2007-11-27 15:25:57 · answer #4 · answered by bzrrogirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you don't know for sure whether you can have kids or not. Just tell him you're not sure and plan on going to a dr. to find out for sure. Don't make the situation harder than what it has to be. Just don't make a big deal until you know for sure.
2007-11-27 15:07:13 · answer #5 · answered by thisaintall07 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you dont' want kids
OR tell him that you want to adopt and that you dont' plan to have kids of your own when so manykids need homes.
There is no need to tell a new boyfriend. You could date 10 guys before you are ready to settle down. And that is not 10 different guys business. Just say one of the above, which would be true. You can elaborate when things get serious
2007-11-27 15:01:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have to sit him down and tell him you have something serious to talk about. Then tell him. If you are in a committed relationship, it will be a blow to him, but he will get over it. If children are more important to him than you, then you really don't have much of a future.
Either way, you have to tell him. I wouldn't want to be with someone who hid things from me.
2007-11-27 15:00:29 · answer #7 · answered by not too creative 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to get a definite answer from a doctor before telling him you can't have children. Birth control does not cause you to not be able to have babies...there must be more to it than what you wrote...but you need to know for sure before telling him.
2007-11-27 15:01:57 · answer #8 · answered by Tawn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before you freak this guy out, why don't you get checked first. You don't know for sure. Find out, and if it's true then sit him down and tell him honestly. Let him make his own choice.
2007-11-27 15:15:54 · answer #9 · answered by mrsdeli 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you are unsure if you can and if it is that important to him you will go to the doctor and try to find out if it is possible for you to.
2007-11-27 15:10:28 · answer #10 · answered by Sheila 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋