Whenever my hubby and I have a fall out (like tonight!), he always says he's 'sick of listening to me' or 'you never stop going on' blah blah blah. He's forever telling me how lucky I am to have him (and I am, he's a great hubby - I'm not denying that) but he never, ever tells me that he's lucky to have me. My question is if he feels that way, the way he speaks in arguments, why does he stay? Any men's views?!
2007-11-27 05:13:37 · 24 answers · asked by coca cola 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
lol. he's really not an asshole at all, he's amazing with our daughter, changes nappies, plays with her etc, cooks me meals every night he's home (he's a chef) and treats me very well, I just don't think he loves me deep down, I think he takes care of me instead.
2007-11-27 05:20:53 · update #1
Wow, thanks for all your answers so far! He does tell me that he loves me yes, very often, but it's as if when we argue (which isn't very often) the truth comes out and he says hurtful things. This is why I'm always telling him to leave if he's unhappy, because I'm frightened that he really wants to go but doesn't because of our daughter, and I wouldn't want him to stay just for her, it wouldn't be right.
2007-11-27 05:30:51 · update #2
Because we always have to act like Billy Big Bollo*ks. try not to take it personally. (I know that's easy for me to say) We just open our big fat mouths without thinking. Also we are not so great on compliments all the time, but secretly we all adore our better halves even if we don't always admit it. He just has a head of steam let him cool down and I'm sure you will be fine.
2007-11-27 05:23:06 · answer #1 · answered by JASON N 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Set up a personal night for you and your hubby to get to know each other again. Take the time to show each other how much you care with words, as well as actions. Let him know that you are open to any discussions he might have instead of you doing all of the talking. Men aren't as open as women and at times feel smothered when women want to express their feelings so often. Make sure that the two of you are in love and not just living the picture of a happy family.
Make dinner for him for a change when he's home. Do things that you know make him extremely happy for no reason and show him how lucky he is to have you. It won't be easy, but leave it open for him to do the talking and make sure you listen.
2007-11-27 13:28:44 · answer #2 · answered by myluv115 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe that's his way of letting you know that you've already won the argument. You don't have to go any further to belittle or intentionally make him look bad. He's probably had enough of that in his day already (from unsatisfied customers, obnoxious coworkers and grumpy bosses). He needs to recover from them just as much as from you now. He wants to be able to face tomorrow without any more fighting today. Give the guy his peace. Chances are he LET you win the argument for this same reason.
ADDED: No man would take care of you like the way you said, unless he did love you deep down. That is how he shows you he feels lucky to have you. Actions like those are more precious than words.
2007-11-27 13:25:57 · answer #3 · answered by Joe H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many men do say that,it really is quite common for us women to be made out to be nags,but why do we nag? It's not always for no good reason as many might suggest.
Sounds like your hubby has an ego when he tells you you're lucky to have him,just remind him he's lucky to have you too.
Sounds like it's just a man thing when he says all these things during arguments,and if he was that unhappy,he would leave you.
You're both equals,both have faults(as we all do) and should both respect eachother and not take eachother for granted,and remember,it takes two to make a relationship a happy one,maybe he needs reminding of that!
And if he doesn't want the nagging,maybe he should ask himself why you do nag in the first place,if you nag for nothing,fair enough on his part,but most women have good reason to.
2007-11-27 13:27:55 · answer #4 · answered by tinyfeet64 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im not a man even though my name says i am but words can hurt just as much as a fist. I dont know a man that doesnt say those things to there better half it is there way of hurting you.
tell him yes we are lucky to have each other. arguments happen in all relationships that is how we grow. when all is calm tell him that the words he said hurt you. If you dont speak your mind or opinions then he will lose respect for you.
No matter how angry you are at him still tell him that you love him and that you know he loves you.
2007-11-27 13:24:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are like that that think the world revolves around them, they don't take into consideration other peoples feelings, and that you would like to hear a few words of encouragement to make you feel good or wanted now and again. They just need a gentle nudge now and again to make them realise how lucky they are also to have you, talk to him tell him how you feel when you are having a quite time together. I wish you well.
2007-11-27 13:24:55 · answer #6 · answered by scooby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is manipulating you to think that he is so great and you are so lucky. He does not respect you or he would also recognize how lucky he is too.
He says things like "he is sick of listening to you" because he knows that he can get away with speaking to you like that.
You might want to think about all aspects of your relationship and see if you are really being treated as an equal. One thing that I have noticed is that consistently women who call their husbands "hubby" on Yahoo! Answers questions are in abusive and controlling relationships.
Take care,
Troy
2007-11-27 13:22:29 · answer #7 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men and women communicate differently. Women are used to working through problems by talking them through, men prefer to solve problems by actions, not talking. It sounds as though he does a great job of helping out at home, looking after the baby etc ... do you ever praise him for this? Make him feel valued and it will spur him on to do more things to protect you as a family.
2007-11-27 18:08:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not unnusal for men to say this i have heard it before from my mums ex husband
they alwayz use to argue
but maybe he forgets to tell you how lucky he is to have you because he thinks you already know it.
does he ever tell you that he loves you
he does sound like a great dad to your daughter and it shows that he does love you and your daugther maybe you should ask him how he feels about you just so u are sure
hope everything goes ok
2007-11-27 13:28:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No all men don't say that. I do try and listen to my wife although yes we still do argue pretty regular. Something to try..... Have him write down as many faults as he can about himself and tell him you'll do the same for yourself..
It's always eaisier to find fault with the other and not so easy looking at yourself.
2007-11-27 13:21:28 · answer #10 · answered by troubled 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋