Ok guys here is my story ; me and my bf have been together for the past 3 years but we only moved in together 4 months ago with rent. I have been offered a job but i will only be able to start working in few weeks because of paper work etc. He has to move to a different town at the end of Jan 2008 and he consideres to buy a flat and pay bank and mortgage instead of wasting money on rent. because i cannot take mortgage at the moment he consideres i should pay him rent if i want to move in with him so he can pay the mortgage. he said that if i do not want to do that then he would rent the spare room to someone else anyway to help him pay for his mortgage and i should find a place of my own to rent; Do you think it is fair of him to ask me to pay him rent considering that we would live together as a couple and all.... and split the living costs too; he also said that once i save up some money i could buy my share of mortgage for the house and finally own part of the property;until then...
2007-11-27 04:50:56 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If your paying "rent" and you and your boyfriend split up, then you get nothing! If your helping to pay on the mortgage, and you split, then you get your share. If you don't see yourself marring him, then don't do it. If he doesn't see marriage for the two of you in the next year, then don't do it.
It sounds like your relationship isn't ready for this next step. Might be time to move on!
2007-11-27 07:02:22 · answer #1 · answered by kimandryan2008 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
This is not a "moral" question. But to answer you - he isn't wrong for asking you to pay rent. You are living together yes, you are a couple yes - but how does that take away the responsibility of you needing to pay for living somewhere. Even when your married it isn't one persons job over the other to provide - unless you and your boyfriend are agreeing to some arrangement where you do housework or raise his children as an agreement for him supporting you. Of course, he will need to take into consideration what you can afford and you'll need to discuss that with him openly so you can come into a reasonable agreement. Also, if your not comfortable being on a property - purchasing a house and a mortgage you should tell him that. Then if he does buy a house you can just pay him rent directly - if you don't want to own just tell him that. It may be a better idea not to purchase the place with him...because what if your relationship doesn't work out? That would be a sticky situation. But, you do need to pay some rent....it's only fair.
2007-11-27 04:57:24 · answer #2 · answered by Kimbermai 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Quoting yourself: " we would live together as a couple and all.... and split the living costs too".
Rent/mortgage is a living cost. In fact the biggest one. Perfectly reasonable of him to ask for some rent if you're not paying mortgage.
Or you could say to him that you'll pay some of the mortgage (effectively rent). That way you're earning a share in the house already. And if he's not happy with that, it sounds as though he's taking you for a ride.
2007-11-27 10:57:58 · answer #3 · answered by Steve-Bob 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you want to move with your boyfriend into a big new house and expect to live there for free? How about no?! It's not his responsibility to provide housing for you. If you said you will be splitting "living expenses" then isn't rent part of this too? As far as buying half the mortgage from him I would avoid that. If you two ever break up that could get very tricky. At lest if you're just paying rent, the mortgage is only his responsibility if you were to break up.
2007-11-27 04:58:24 · answer #4 · answered by The Jesus 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
ok this is your position. It does not matter that you are not married to the guy. You have been co-habiting together which legally is the same as man and wife so that when he alone buys the flat.........guess what........you already own half of it AND any capital increase during the time you live there. Should you divorce you will be given half the value. So fair or not, if he wants rent, it may be a good idea to pay that rent but dont feel that you have to. He is probably feeling quite insecure and needs to know that buying a flat is a good investment. Obviously he wants you to move in and not a stranger. Good luck
2007-11-27 06:10:35 · answer #5 · answered by mybeach 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes I think it's fair to pay your fair share if you're both living together,money doesn't grow off tree's,so unless he was loaded,which I doubt he is if he's talking about having to rent a room out in the new place,yes you should contribute,either by giving him rent or having a joint morgage that's in both your names,providing you can afford it,if you can't,giving him rent money that will go towards the mortgage/bills will help him out.
Just make sure that if you are going to be covering half the mortgage that your name goes on that mortgage along side his,there should be no reason your name can't go on that mortgage if you're paying half of it along with other bills too,that is something he will have to and want to agree on.
No-one can live for free,not in this world.
2007-11-27 05:06:26 · answer #6 · answered by tinyfeet64 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think it is BUT....
if you are paying rent then you should ask what will be covered in the payment like utilities, food etc.. etc... It will also help if you do everything in written format.
When your boyfriend is saying that you can share mortgage then that will work too but you need to consult a lawyer and ask how feasible this is.
Being a couple does not mean that the guy should shoulder everything.
You can split the cost by doing percentage of what both of you are earning or income so everything is fair.
2007-11-27 05:10:21 · answer #7 · answered by brittanique 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Without knowing your situations fully, I would guess from what he has said that he can get the mortgage, however he will struggle to pay it each month So to continue with the lifestyle you have, he will need some more money and to get that he will rent out part of his flat. Now you can pay a for the privilage or he can get a stranger to.
Now consider that he cant get any extra money out of the flat in terms of rent (for example, he lets you stay there for free - which I am sure he would love to do if he could afford to), then his lifestyle would be curtailed, he wouldnt be able to go out and that would include taking you out to places - so ending your relationship, not because of any ill feeling, just pure finances (do you want to sit and watch the TV every night because he cant afford anything else?)
2007-11-27 05:07:13 · answer #8 · answered by whycantigetagoodnickname 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My girlfriend just moved into my house, which I pay the mortgage for, and we worked out a deal that works best for both of us. Basically, you don't need to pay anything towards the mortgage, but it is not unreasonable at all to pay "rent". The way we worked it out was figured out the monthly cost of hydro, water, heat, home insurance, and property tax, etc, which worked out to about $750 a month. We split that cost, so she pays me $375 a month to stay. Basically rent is free for her, because I own the house, and she just pays her half of the expenses, which is totally fair. Hope this helps!!
2007-11-27 04:58:14 · answer #9 · answered by Andrew M 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think it's fair to ask you to contribute to the joint expenses, whatever they might be - it includes rent. How much your contribution should be, and how you two handle it, is up to you to work out, but I don't think his request is unreasonable. If you have separate finances, both of you should be contributing to the bills; rent is just one of the expenses, doesn't matter who owns the place.
When I first moved in with my husband, he already owned a home, and I wrote him a check every month to cover my share of the "rent" - the amount that we had agreed upon, which was the same that I paid at the apartment I had been renting prior to moving in. I also contributed to other household expenses. Once we got married, we combined our finances, so nowadays everything we make goes into the same "pool", and we both have full access to the money.
Until you have joint finances, you will have to deal with having "yours" and "his" money, "yours" and "his" bills. Come up with an agreement that suits both of you.
2007-11-27 05:51:58 · answer #10 · answered by Sandy Ego 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the tables were turned, we would all be telling you how stupid you were for letting your bf move in to your house rent free. Tit for tat I say! I would be sure to get a contract in writing if there is any "rent to own" or whatever. As far as you paying and not owning the flat, people do it all the time, someone owns a flat and rents it out to someone else for the same as the mortgage, what's different in this situation?
2007-11-27 05:21:30 · answer #11 · answered by r0adie20 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋