How can i make my mom realize she shouldnt keep giving us everything?

Question

she seems to think that if me or my brother ask for something, she has to give it to us....

like, simply casualy mention that i'd like to do something, she'll get it for me most of the time.

you'd think this is a good hting.its not

my parents fight about money alot. it took a month of my mom's pestering to get $150 a week to feed 5 people. she'll mention things like "i've written more checks this month than i have in the last year" like its a bad thing...always fighting. and the bills of course. apparntly we use too much electric even tho our bulbs are floressent and we always turn stuff out.


Serious question here....plz help out

even "that seems cool" and she'll try to get it....

also, i'm 13, i cant get a job(babysiting is outta the question cuz i can be rly mean sometimes)

btw, my mom is the better of 2 evils..my dad would buy junk food, and noting elce....unforunatly.


OMG, SHES GETTING ME AN 80gigabige IPOD FOR CHRISTMAS!! thoes things are $200! hope the price drops to reasnoable.


least i buy my own clothes with my allowance(chores...) or she'd get the ditsy disigner crap (bleah)

Answer 1

If you mother can't come up with a budget, and allocate resources to different categories, - then you take the lead and sit down with her.

Calculate the money coming in, calculate all the fixed costs, like housing and insurance, - find out what money is left over for food and 'fun' per month. Keep a list on the kitchen wall of what's spent in each category per month.

As I've told my lovely wife, - buying a wide-screen TV for $1,000 is allocating money from another category, like vacations or retirement.

Answer 2

Parents sometimes buy things for the kids because they dont have the physical time to put in for them. A keep yourself occupied sort of thing. Help your Mom more around the house, by doing more chores. This frees up her time to spend with you, say maybe teaching you to Crochet,Knit, learn basic sewing techniques, cooking, baking. You have a lot to learn, and are certainly old enough. Explain to your Mom that you mention items in general conversation, and it doesn't mean you want to have the item. Just because you comment on a TVcommercial toy or something, you are just voicing an opinion, and dont need to have the stuff. MOM's can be confused by your comments too. Talk to her explain this to her from your point of view. Research what the family can do to become more "Green" (conserving and recycling, etc) Maybe some simple work by your Dad to check around the house for air leaks, and making those minor cheap repairs, would make a big difference in the home heating bills. Taking shorter showers, rinsing dishes with cold water instead of hot uses less electricity too. Over time it all adds up to savings. Use the same bathtowel for more than 2 days, reducing the costs of washing and drying. Clothes too, wear clothes 2 times before you wash them. All this helps. No one is saying become a slob, just conserve in a conscience way, and have your family all pitch in like you are on a mission. This will help the fights between your Mom and Dad...and the stress that this causes in a home. Be part of the solution. Or create a solution.

Answer 3

Ok seems she spends a ton on you and your brother. So maybe start asking for an allowance? Just say hey mom i was thinking whenever me and my brother want something or even just mention you, you do everything in your power to get it. To be honest i don't think that's good for us, can you start just giving us an allowance and we have to buy any extras we want( toys, music, games). I think this will teach us a great life lesson. As we can learn to save, and learn to think about things we want. I think this will also help us learn to respect our things more. Because we have to work for them and save to get them, instead of taking 2 seconds to say hey mom i want a new phone. Also tell her you should pay us depending on the chores we do through the week. I think this would be a great idea. My son is only 3 and he USE to be the same way, he never asked for very expensive things, my husband has a decent job, so i figured why not buy it for him if he wants it. Then one week my husband had been out of work 3 days with his dad in the hospital and had to let him mom borrow money to eat on at the hospital. So we didn't have extra that week to buy my son anything, he laid in the floor of the store screaming and throwing a fit. I then relized the monster *I* had created. So even though he's only 3, he gets an allowance 3 dollars a week(a dollar per year), i have been teaching him how to count his money and to save. This is so much better on us all. He usually saves it a few weeks and gets something big.

Answer 4

Most likely, it will be tough to get her to realize this. If she's like my mom (in my case, I can't convince my mom to stop buying junk food), no mater how often you mention it to her, she'll keep doing it anyway. I think the best thing you can do for this problem is to sit down with her, include the whole family in this discussion, and talk about it. Discussing budget is a good idea, as well. Hopefully you'll all come to a soulution. If your mom does realize that she shouldn't give you everything, she might need to be reminded of this problem from time to time until she gets used to refraining from buying you and your brother everything that she thinks you two want. Hold a family discussion periodically to discuss and re-evaluate this matter until she does get used to the idea.

Answer 5

Get interested in charity work, and quit talking about what you want, and find something that you can do as a family for other people less fortunate. Volunteer at the hospital, rest home or the VA. Get interested in things that don't cost a thing, but will let her know you want more than just stuff. Sounds kind of silly, but you need to set the example for her. Good luck, and I can tell you, you will be more satisfied and find more happiness than you ever have.

Answer 6

Maybe if you didn't ask for or mention things, she would not feel the need to get them for you.It takes a lot of money to raise a family, and that can really stretch a budget. I think your mom, just wants her kids to be happy, and that's why she tries to get you what you want. I know because I am a mom too. Two of my kids now have part time jobs so the things they want they buy their self now, you could try that too.

Answer 7

She is just a loving mother who loves her children dearly and wants to provide all she can for you which is understandable. If you think that she is having money problems, then you and your brother should take caution to stop mentioning wanting things and such. You can't expect to say all these things to her and then complain when she is just doing what a loving and selfless mother does. It's a good thing that you noticed your parents are having money problems though. Hope this helps and that everything works out ok.

Answer 8

It sounds like if your parents are fighting your mom is feeling guilty about the affect it has on you and your brother. First step to this is to not casually mention things you would like to have to her anymore. If you arent asking for things, she cant give them to you. I would also sit her down and let her know that it is okay that she is fighting with your dad and that it is normal and isnt affecting your brother and you. She might need to hear it. I would also ask if theres anything you can do to help. Sometimes just asking if they need help makes a world of difference. Good luck!

Answer 9

Let her know that by her giving you everything it's just teaching you that mom will always be there to pay for everything and that you can't learn how to be responsible with your own money and that by not buying you so much stuff there will be more money for the stuff you really need or for a family outing or even for emergencies.

Answer 10

You can say something like that:

Mom, I appreciate what you are doing for me and my brother and I think that you are overworking yourself. So I feel that you should let me help you more. If I learn to share some responsabilities with you, it will be for my own good in the future. I'll be able to take care of myself and be self-sufficient. I know that you will hesitate at first but it will be good for both of us. I am sure that you only want the best for me and that you will be happy when I learn how to take care of myself.