Another Invitation Question...?

Question

Please offer suggestions for the following invitation. I love the wording, but I want to make sure it isn't breaking etiquette rules and that the punctuation, capitalization, etc are correct:

Because you have shared in their lives
with your friendship and love

Bride's Name
and
Groom's Name

together with their parents
invite you to share the beginning
of their new life together
when they exchange marriage vows
Saturday, the fifth of April
Two thousand and eight
at twelve o’clock in the afternoon

Location
Address
City, State Zip

Reception immediately following ceremony

Answer 1

You do not need the zip, but it is fine if you leave it. I love the way it starts off, very pretty. Best of luck!

Answer 2

I personally don't like the way it starts with "because", it seems accusatory. I'm not the most eloquint of writers but maybe something to the effect:

The Friendship And LoveYou Have Shared
In Our Life Means So Much
Together With Their Parents

Bride's Name
And
Groom's Name

Invite You To Share The Beginning
Of Their New Life Together
When They Exchange Marriage Vows
Saturday, The Fifth Of April
Two Thousand And Eight
At Twelve O’clock In The Afternoon

Location
Address
City, State Zip

Reception Immediately Following Ceremony

Answer 3

You say "their" alot. Why not use "our"? When you use their, it makes it sound like a party other than the bride and groom and their parents are hosting the wedding.

Because you have shared in OUR lives
with your friendship and love

Bride's Name
and
Groom's Name

together with OUR parents
invite you to share the beginning
of OUR new life together
when WE exchange marriage vows
Saturday, the fifth of April
Two thousand and eight
at twelve o’clock in the afternoon

Location
Address
City, State Zip

Reception immediately following ceremony

BEST OF LUCK!

Answer 4

Since you have shared in our lives
with your friendship and love,

Bride's Name

and

Groom's Name,

along with our parents,
invite you to share the beginning
of our new life together.

Vows of marriage will be exchanged

Saturday, the fifth of April,
Two thousand and eight,
at twelve o’clock in the afternoon.

Location

(The above should have each line centered)
(put the address in the bottom lower left, flush left)
Address
City, State Zip
Reception immediately following ceremony

Answer 5

It looks great! The only thing I would change, is since YOU and your finance are issuing the invite--I would change the first line (and 8th & 9th lines) from "their" to "our." But that's a very ticky grammar issue, that only an English teacher would notice! LOL So, it would read like this:

Because you have shared in OUR lives...

together with OUR parents
invite you to share the beginning
of OUR new life together
when WE exchange marriage vows...

I just think it's a little more personal in the first person, rather than 3rd.....

Answer 6

It looks lovely, but since you wanted suggestions,

(1) I would capitalize the first letter of each line
(2) LEAVE the zip code on it - I know Ms. Manners would say no, but in the age of mapquest, it is helpful
(3) I would put a space after the line "when they exchange marriage vows" to seperate it from the date and time - sad as it is, most people simply scan the invite for the couple's names and when/where...

I second the notion to chage the "their" to "our" Sounds more personalized....but if you change it in one spot, I'd change it in all... it would sound funny otherwise.

Answer 7

people will tell you no zip code but mine has a zip code :)
People will tell you there needs to be a comma after April but mine doesn't :)

oh wait a second

your freaking invitation is the same as mine! :)

We DID change the wording around a little bit
email me if you'd like it

[e-mail]

ps did you get that off of anns bridal bargain site?

Answer 8

That is gorgeous--I love the wording and the punctuation, etc. looks good! Congrats!

Answer 9

Looks good.