How to deal with a jealous girlfriend of my father?

Question

My fathers new girlfriend doesn't like me and told me so. She said that she was never close to her father and doesn't understand my close relationship with my father. She says that she feels as if she is in competition with me and that she can't compete with me because I am perfect. Trust me, I am very far from perfect. I love my father very much and we became very close recently due to his recent illness in which he almost died. She has never been married nor does she have children. She is making him choose between us and I think that she may be succeeding. I really don't know how to deal with the situation. I left a message on my fathers phone and asked him to let me know what he wants. He is doesn't want me to call or visit him, he needs to let me know. She has made her feelings quite clear but I need an answer from him. He has yet to return my call. I am so sad that he would just toss our relationship away. What should I do to cope? Thanks.

Answer 1

Love is a strange creature. Sometimes it makes people do weird things. If your father "cools" his relationship with you for a little while - don't take offense. He may need to do this to "keep" his love interest. Eventually, he will realize this was the wrong thing to do.

Don't leave messages on his phone. Take him out for lunch - just the two of you. Tell him what his girlfriend told you and discuss your concerns and feelings with him. Ask him what he thinks should be done about it. Don't pressure him into dumping her or choosing one over the other. You can tell him that you think it is wrong that she is so insecure that it is affecting the relationship you have with him. Maybe you can suggest to him that his girlfriend and him get into therapy so they can deal with her insecurity issue effectively.

Answer 2

Stop putting your father in the middle. Making someone choose one over the other, which is what you are doing, is stupid and wrong.

She cannot take your place, you are his daughter, not his g/f. However there are things that she provides for him, that you cannot, ever.

Since you sound like an adult, I would suggest that you compromise with her. I would tell her that I understand what her role is, but she needs to understand that just because she didn't have a close father, doesn't mean that other people don't. Then make sure your role in his life is as his daughter, not his wife. You also need to tell her that to a parent, a child can do no wrong, and while in reality you are far from perfect, you cannot change that you are daddy's girl and in his eyes you are perfect. If you really want to remain close to your dad, you need to learn to hold your tongue and respect her position. Remember that a g/f is not a wife, and you might want to point that out to her.

Answer 3

You have nothing to worry about! He likely had no idea this woman was saying these things to you and now she is making him choose.....he is probably not returning your call yet because his head is still spinning after finding out all this has been going on without his knowledge. Don't worry....he will not choose a girlfriend over his own daughter....especially a woman as selfish as the one you described.

Answer 4

Write him a letter telling him how much you love him, and want him to be happy, etc.. But you don't feel he needs to "choose" between you or his girlfriend, and if his new girlfriend REALLY LOVED him she would Never Ask him to do such a thing !!! Anyway.... write all your feelings down in the letter, and mail it to his JOB, not his home or he'll likely Never See it!!! She Will make sure of that, if she sees it before he does. Good luck sweetie!!

Answer 5

hun wait for your fathers answer maybe he has no clue what is going on and tell that sleeze bag you will always be there and you are the one that is going to be there to pick up the pieces when she runs out on him

Answer 6

Make it known to her that even if hell freezes over, YOU ARE STILL THE DAUGHTER and she's just some slut your father found.