Husband wants to buy son a doll house or a kitchen set?

Question

I would like to get our son a toy train table for Christmas, it will cost around $150.00 - my husband wont hear of it at that cost and said that we will buy him a Doll house or a Kitchen Set instead (for less money) - Both my husband and I work and we can afford a $150.00 train set for our son - We spend more then that on our other 3 children at Christmas Time to begin with. Also, at bed time or nap time, he lays out stuffed animals and dolls for my son to sleep with- am I being silly, or is there something wrong here? We already have 2 daughters and 1 son -

Answer 1

You have two communication problems with your husband:

1. Why haven't you discussed the reason behind your husband's obsession about pushing these "girl" items onto your son??? Ask your husband DIRECTLY why he does this. It is possible that your husband wanted a girl for your last child and that's why he's behaving like this. The two of you need to come to an agreement on how you are going to raise your son.

2. You should limit yourself to spending the SAME amount on each child. Your children shouldn't have unequal values in their Christmas gifts. SO, if your son gets $150.00 worth of stuff then so should each other child.

Dolls/kitchen sets won't turn your son gay.

Answer 2

No, you're not being silly. However you need to talk to your husband because he seems to be confused about having 2 daughters and 1 son not 3 daughters. Perhaps he's trying to teach your son about keeping house but is your son old enough to understand. Have a discussion with your husband about what he's doing with your son. Be sure that there's a reason as to why he's pushing the doll house, kitchen set and the sleeping with other female toy items. Maybe your husband wishes he had 3 girls so he's pushing the female toys on your son. Either way you need to get answers and make him stop treating your son as if he's a girl when he's not. In the end your son may end up very confused. If he turns out gay will your husband take the blame and love him just the same? Get your home under control before you end up having a serious problem on your hands. The average man does not want his male offsprings playing with anything that's made for girls. Sounds to me as if your husband has a problem and you need to figure out what that is. Get your son a train, trucks and toys for males he needs to be raised as a boy and if later on in life he decides to turn gay that would be his choice don't push him into being a girl.

Answer 3

Does your SON want the doll house/kitchen set? If no, then don't buy it. If the toy train is too expensive, then find something else to buy.

Now, if your son actually wants the doll house/kitchen set...well, that's a different story, but you didn't say that son wanted these items.

Answer 4

What does your son want? Two years ago on my son's fourth birthday, he wanted a kitchen set, which didn't bother my husband in the least because he was a chef at one time and cooks all the meals for our family. (Though more than one of my husband's friends asked if he was gay or raising his son to be a little girl...) But that's what my son wanted and that's what he got, with little care as to what others thought...

But if your son wants the train table get it for him, if 150 is to much there are plenty of train sets for a lot less than that...

I tend to think that we nuture the things we were lacking in our own childhood. Maybe your husband is just trying to give him the chance to make his own choices instead of being driven towards the stuff that is supposed to be for boys... My husband wasn't as noble as all that, he just saw our son wanting to be like dad. :)

Answer 5

Something is wrong if your husband is doing that. If your son asked for the doll house and kitchen set then fine get it for him, but it is an unusual choice for a boy otherwise.

Answer 6

The only thing I see wrong is that you should spend as close to the same amount on each child as possible. If your son likes dolls, kitchens and doll houses--that's fine. I think that the old sterotypical idea of boys and girls being treated different is why men today have trouble expressing themself and understanding their emotions.
If he doesn't and it is your husband's idea, then maybe you need to talk with him and see where he is coming from.

Answer 7

How else do men learn to be equal partners and help themselves live a normal life without having to depend on women to do it for them?

Have you asked your husband what he's thinking, what his motivation is? Why would you assume that the man you love, are married to, and you have reproduced 4 children with, has some hidden agenda? Now if he treats this son differently than the other, you might have reason to question this. Is his behavior different between the two boys? If so, ask him why.

Answer 8

Remind your husband that he can't get gifts for a son the same way he can get them for girls. Tell him to turn up the testosterone and encourage male interests in his son. A train would be wonderful for a young boy. If cost remains an issue, maybe suggest a different toy, but it has to be for a little boy!

Answer 9

When my now 16 year old nephew was around 4 or 5 he asked for a kitchen set, and he got it. But to have your husband push that on him is not right.

Answer 10

This is very unusual! Most men would definately not want their son playing with doll houses and dolls! Especially since you already have 2 girls....get them the doll house and stick to your guns about the train! Bring him up to be a boy, not a girl!