or anyone else who wants to answer...
I'm having two because my family lives 2 hours away and won't drive up to columbus ohio.
Anyways, the one for up here in columbus is mostly his side of the family, There are alot of people on his side that I do not know and it may be very akward/uncomforable for me, so I considered a jack n jill (where it's coed and the groom can attend) but one of the hostesses doesn't believe it's tradition...for ANY men to be there...
Have any of you dealt with this? How?
2007-11-27 03:22:21 · 11 answers · asked by ? 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I only had 1 shower, but my husband did stay for the whole thing. He worked as the gift runner, while I opened them, but I loved that he was there to see all the gifts that were meant for BOTH of us when they were opened instead of just bringing them home and showing him. It was great because he was able to introduce me to those I didnt know and made it a bit easier taking some of the spotlight off me. And at the end we both stood together while I made a small speech of thanks and how happy I was to be so generously welcomed into his family. In our case he just stayed, I dont think he had any intention of leaving me there alone without him, he didnt discuss it with anyone either, he just did it. Maybe try to have it work that way where he just walks in with you and stays instead of discussing it ahead of time. I doubt anyone would have the nerve to say "Jason, you have to leave now"
I have also been to the Jack and Jill showers where all the men came, it was fun, but be prepared, the men tend to gather in one space together while the ladies do their "lady" things. At my cousins there was a small private bar area off of the main room where the gift opening was going on, all the men were crammed in that little room watching the football game that was on. They wanted no part of gifts, but it was fun to go together and leave together.
2007-11-27 04:35:22 · answer #1 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband was at both of my showers. I had one in his hometown, thrown by his side of the family. I would have died if I had to go there myself...I didn't know half of the people! He also came to the shower in my hometown given by my side of the family. His mom, aunts, and sister came, so that's why he attended...to make them comfortable around my family.
Explain to her that you would feel SO much more comfortable if he was there to introduce you to people. Let her know that it's a very common thing to do now, a shower is about giving gifts to the couple. A bachelorette party should not have any men, not a shower. If she's very firm in her stance, I guess you'll just have to suck it up and go. Just be very polite, and make the hostesses stick with you and introduce you to EVERYONE.
2007-11-27 03:38:59 · answer #2 · answered by Student Doctor House 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many many people are doing couple's showers these days. I would say most of the people I know have done it that way. I want to have an all girls showers because I feel like it's the last big hurrah with my female friends, and lets me get to know the wives of some of my husband to be's friends. Who cares about tradition...do things the way YOU want. Where I live, woman have anywhere from 2-5 showers. I was invited to 5 showers for the same couple!! Do it your way girl...have the co-ed.
2007-11-27 03:49:10 · answer #3 · answered by beehappy01 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fortunately in today's society we do not have to go by traditions. Just explain to her that because your families are scattered and you're having two bridal showers and that you do not know all of his family that you'd like to include him and have a Jack-n-Jill shower. Since she is the hostess and if she still wants to do something more traditional...tell her you'd like to have a "theme" shower...like a "trim the tree" shower or a kitchen shower.
2007-11-27 03:36:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A jack and Jill shower seems to be the solution to your problem. He will be there to greet his relatives and friends that you are not familiar with and that's all. It may not be "traditional", but the hostess should understand that is a bit ackward for you to receive gifts from people that you don't know well. Explain to her that that will make you feel more comfortable.
Good luck
2007-11-27 03:28:06 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
sorry I didn't have a "bridal shower" but you know its your wedding every part of it. If you want to have a "jack and Jill" shower than go for it.
"its not tradition"...well a lot of things are not tradition these days but we do them anyway...
We had a very non-traditional wedding reception....we got married on a Friday and had a cookout on Saturday with just a few close friends and family.
as for how to deal with it ......Just talk to her and let her know that this is the best solution for you and you want to be comfortalbe and avoid any akward moments.
hummmm tradition....
2007-11-27 09:27:30 · answer #6 · answered by C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had two as well, because they were about five hours away from each other...
For the one where most of the guests will be his side of the family, well, you know his mom and maybe siblings, aunties - and just be gracious and open when you meet other relatives and friends of the family. They are all gathering to shower you will good wishes, so just be your own wonderful self!
(btw, I think showers are special and should just be gatherings for females!)
Good luck!
2007-11-27 03:32:51 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, she should do what you want but if she's not going to then you will have to make the best of the situation. Just make polite conversation and be very gracious. You will have to get to know a lot of these people eventually so take this as an opportunity and do the best you can.
2007-11-27 03:26:47 · answer #8 · answered by Deanrijo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yep, sounds familiar....my fiance's mom and aunt threw me a shower, and my aunt from my family threw me a shower. I didn't know hardly ANYONE at the one my MIL threw, but I just smiled and went on with it. My husband's mom didn't believe in the whole "men at the shower" idea either. It'll be fine, I met a bunch of interesting people! Good luck!
2007-11-27 03:27:37 · answer #9 · answered by Katy B 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Smile and be thankful that these people you hardly know are willing to bring you gifts and sacrifice their afternoon/evening in your honor. Feel fortunate that you are lucky enough to have two such occasions and remember that not everyone is so lucky.
2007-11-27 03:29:09 · answer #10 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋