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She's a pain in the backside and a drain on the family and i hate her guts cant wait to get rid.

2007-11-27 02:59:37 · 17 answers · asked by SPAZ ATTACK 1 in Family & Relationships Family

17 answers

Where to start!!!!

The choice of placing your mother in law has to be made based on need, not your currently uncharitable thought. As others have said, you too will get old, God williing, and may find yourself in need of assistance.

1. Is your mother in law living with you and your family?
2 If living in her own home, is it that she need assistance to get to the store etc
3. Is she feeling lonely and left out of family functions?

Her being a "pain in the backside" may be the result of depression or illness that should be addressed.

Lastly, as others have mentioned, your own attitude is lacking in social graces, love or consideration for your elder. YOU married into her family, you have certain responsibilities and duties to that family. What you decide regarding your mother in law will be a lesson to your children regarding you and your treatment when you are older.

2007-11-27 03:37:49 · answer #1 · answered by lady JG 4 · 1 1

Lady JG has summed this situation very nicely. As to the others, they have clearly not thought their answers out at all and I found them extraordinarily insensitive and selfish.

Whether your mother-in-law is a "pain in the backside and a drain on the family" or not is not the point here. We all grow old with the passing of the years, some are able to grow old graciously as my own mother did whereas others find it a lonely, depressing existence. Whatever your mother-in-law's situation is, she is the responsibility of your husband and any other siblings or members of her family. She does not deserve these cruel words. If it had not been for her, you would not have her son as a husband so think on this for a moment or two before unleashing your venom upon her.

Your attitude towards this old lady is cruel, thoughtless and ungenerous. Instead of belittling her, why not get to know her? Talk to her, get her to share her life with you and you may learn a few invaluable lessons from her about how to treat the elderly. One day, you too will become old and could well find yourself in exactly the same situation as she is.

If you thought by writing as you did, you are going to get any sympathy, how wrong you are. She is probably lonely, afraid and is in need of tender and loving care. Your husband and family need to weigh the pros against the cons where their mother is concerned, what is in HER best interests and most certainly not yours, to talk to someone from Social Services and enlist the help of her Doctor. In this way, a constructive and sensible plan of action can be taken to ensure your mother-in-law is getting the best care and attention at all times.

Old peoples homes should be the last resort and only for all the right reasons and certainly not because she "is a pain in the backside" as you so cruelly put it.

The elderly deserve our respect. They have a lot to offer if you but took the trouble to get to know this old lady. You might learn a thing or two about what Life is really all about. Her time to leave this earthly earth will come soon enough but in the meantime, I would urge you to stop being so selfish and think more about this lady who richly deserves your respect and not your "hate".

2007-11-27 18:29:26 · answer #2 · answered by phoebe1932willey 3 · 0 0

If you can live with the guilt of passing her off to all those other grumpy old b*stards, then I say go for it. They may never forgive you, but it will make your life much more bearable, so it should work out fine... I would think the rest of the family will be delighted that you have shown such compassion, in that they were probably thinking it but didnt have the b*lls to act, whereas you actually had the guts... Well done.. humanity is still alive and kicking

2007-11-27 11:06:20 · answer #3 · answered by greydays 4 · 0 1

Well, in my humble opinion (no offence though), I don't think that it's right for you to put her in an old folks home JUST because you don't like her. If you're doing it for the sake of her, then it's right.

You should consult your husband as well. See what he thinks. If you just go ahead with it, it might cause a rift between the both of you. And that certainly isn't worth it.

2007-11-28 03:05:12 · answer #4 · answered by Smileallday 3 · 0 0

what does the rest of the family think?

i have worked a "old people home" for 3 years now and most aren't as bad as you think they get great care and some really don't hate being there
just if you do decide to put her there shop around check out every single one in your area ask what other people think about it...if you see family members of people who are there stop and ask them questions

also make sure you don't just "drop her off" that drives me crazy when residents are sitting there crying because family doesn't care about them it hurts us too

2007-11-27 11:15:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

If you are putting her in there because you don't like her, then I think it's wrong. IF you are doing it because she NEEDS around the clock care, etc... AND it's in HER best interest then Yes, you should. But remember, God willing, You too will be old one day, and possibly a Mother-n-law, how would you feel in her shoes?? Hmmm?! Good Luck !!!

2007-11-27 11:05:01 · answer #6 · answered by casper 5 · 1 0

thats a terrible thing to say what if your hubby said that about your mother you witch you need putting in a home have more respect for her b i t c h she might hate your guts as i know i do already.

2007-11-27 11:25:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Yes you are absolutely right!
Your close family must come first.
Costs an arm and a leg though!
Skateboard on the stairs perhaps?

2007-11-27 11:06:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anti theist 5 · 0 1

You have your own conscience to guide you, however, remember that you too will be old one day. Your children ( if you have any) are watching how you treat their grandmother. Think what kind of legacy you are leaving them, as what goes around comes around.

2007-11-27 11:14:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

fuk her off, theyr all the same, interfere, make your life hell, and think they knw best in all situations, like tellin you how to bring your kids up, hay thts not just mother-in-laws, thts moms aswell, they should all be carted off, this world wud b a betta place. (obviously i agree) lol

2007-11-27 16:07:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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