what is the funniest joke you've herd /read this weak?

Question

i need a good laughf

Answer 1

Two men and a woman are awaiting their final trial to be enlisted into the FBI. There is only one space, only one of them is required to fill it, and so far they have all sailed through the tests thrown at them.

One of the men is lead away and given a gun. He is then sent into a room with the briefing that all he has to do is shoot the first person he sees in the room.

He accepts the conditions and walks into the room, where he sees his wife sitting on a chair, only to come straight back out. "That's my wife in there" he exclaimed, "I can't shoot my own wife, you'll have to give the position to someone else".

The second man is given the exact same task, but this time with HIS wife sitting in the chair, and the exact same reaction is gained from him, he can't shoot his own wife.

So it comes down to the turn of the woman.

She is given the same gun and the same briefing, she is to shoot the first person she sees in the room.

She walks into the room and closes the door behind her. There is a minutes silence and then an almighty fracas with shouting, screaming and crashing, and then silence.

Eventually the woman emerges with sweat on her brow. "That was my husband in there sitting in a chair!"

"So you just couldn't do it then? You couldn't kill your own husband?"

"Are you kidding? The damn gun was empty, I had to beat him to death with the chair!"

Answer 2

Why is it a bad concept to play UNO with mexicans? because of the fact they are going to constantly scouse borrow your eco-friendly-enjoying cards. A Mexican and a Blackman are in a vehicle. who's driving? A cop what's the variation between a blackman and a bench? A bench can help a kin of four Why dosn't Mexico have an Olympic group? because of the fact anyone that could run, bounce and swim is already right here.

Answer 3

This one was posted yesterday:-

Brian was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Johnny,the owner, had had enough and warned Brian that the next sale he missed would be his last.

Just then a man walked in coughing and asked Brain for their best cough mixture. Try as he might, Brian could not find the cough mixture.

Remembering Johnny's warning he sold the man a box of Laxative and told him to take it all at once. The customer did as Brian instructed him in store and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post.

Johnny had seen the whole thing and came over to ask Brain what had transpired.

"He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough mixture. I substituted it with a Laxative and told him to take it all at once", Brian explained.

Johnny shouted angrily, "Laxative won't cure the mans cough".

"Sure it will" Brain said, pointing a the man leaning on the post. "Look at him. He's afriad to cough"