Child Custody II Other Options?

Question

So my BF has "issues" with his ex wife regarding their kids, he has co primary custody, split holidays, certain days on and off etc. AS STATED IN THE DIVORCE PAPERS. His ex-wife has not allowed even a single phone call in the last 2 years since he moved away to a different state, does not allow the kids to see him for more than 2 hours while he visits their state, she is clearly and outright breaking the divorce agreement she signed. He's tried mediation and attempted to take to court, however the cost is too high. This is tearing him apart and he misses his children so much, they are growing up without a father because their mother wanted a divorce, dont get me wrong im sure it wasnt all her fault but the kids are involved and miss their dad and she simply wont allow them to see him. Co-Primary Custody, can he simply take them? If not any other suggestions for a woman that wont budge? Anyone know a lawyer that could help us???

Answer 1

First off, this is a sad situation when a father WANTS to be a part of his children's life and the mother prevents it. Ultimately it's the kids who are going to suffer, and for her own selfish reasons.

I myself grew up without my father, he was a dead beat so I know how it is. What will happen is the kids will resent their mother for keeping them away from their father.

Anyway, on to your question:

Lawyers are optional, people always assume you MUST have a lawyer. Lawyers are great because they know the law inside out, and if one party has a lawyer you should get yourself one too. But if either cannot afford a lawyer, then you should take her to court for violation of the custody agreement.

I'm not sure if the police can do anything, they tend to not interfere with matters like that, but if you have papers that prove you have x time with your kids and she trys to take them away, you might be able to get a cop that takes your side. But do you want your kids to see that? Will it make things worse? Your kids shouldn't witness you all fight it out.

But you should (he should) sit down with his children and explain the situation and let them know he will always be there even though the mother prevents him from seeing them. Don't bash the mother, just be frank with the kids.

Courts are the only way to get it done. If she continues to violate her custody agreement, he might very well have a case to take custody since HE might be a more fair parent by allowing the mother to visit according to the legal documents, where as she clearly isn't being responsible enough to follow court orders.

Answer 2

I kind of went through the same with my ex-wife. I lived in the same town as my child and was still refused access to her, even though we split custody as per the divorce agreement. I tried the diplomatic route until I saw that it was a lost cause, then I had to involve the courts. I hired a lawyer and went after getting my child back. Not only was she put on a years probation for violating a court order, but she was forced to pay my attorney bill.

Answer 3

By moving away & not taking his parenting time when he is supposed to (that's what joint custody is about - not just 'fair visitation', but equal parenting responsibility), isn't he already breaking their custody agreement?

Not that that makes it right for her to do so, too.

My husband's ex refused phone calls, too, when his daughter was with her. His joint custody agreement clearly stated that phone calls should be allowed. After trying mediation (as per the custody agreement), he had to move on to getting a lawyer & bringing it to court. The judge ruled her in contempt and, for the next few months, she began accepting his phone calls when he called his daughter. Of course, after a while, they all started going to answering machine again, once she forgot the wrist slap that the judge had given her.

I suggest you get a good working knowledge of his custody agreement - both his rights -and- his responsibilities, then get a good lawyer.

Answer 4

I am going through the same thing with my son.
I was forced to give full legal guardianship to my sons grandparents.Even though the divorce decree says I have full and joint custody.My advice to you is get involved with the Friend of the Court and file an appeal of custody.The children involved are the most and indefinitely important in this.Once you go the FOC and file for an appeal they will be able to help you more.GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

Do a search for fathers rights groups. You should have a chapter in your state and they help with legal fees and can guide your BF through the process.

My Dad's ex did that for about 4 yrs when my brothers were little. She moved to another state. She cheated, she left.

It took time, but he got his boys back in his life and we are still close 20 yrs later.

Your boyfriend needs to fight for his kids, even if he isn't successful he will have a paper trail to prove he tried to his children when they are grown.

Answer 6

Have him go to family court and file violation of vistation/custody papers. Its doesn't cost anything. Have him get a police report every time she breaks the agreement. The police will come to you (at least in NY) so that the child doesn't have to see this done.

My husband is going through this right now, and we just went to the court house yesterday to file.

Good Luck.....

Answer 7

if she just up and left the state without writing your husband a letter telling him she was moving then she can lose custody. but if the court said he gets to see them on certain days thers nothing she can do bout that

Answer 8

Many Many lawyers will help you. You're going to have to cough up the cash though. It will be expensive. However, I would think that this would be such a big priority in your life that you would do everything in your power to get the money (take a second job? Second Mortgage? Borrow from friends/family?)

Answer 9

Look up ADAM on the Internet it is a law firm for fathers see what they say. Good luck