Mrs. Smith has three daughters who are all getting married within the same month. She tells each one of her daughters to write back about their married life. To avoid possible embarrassment to their new husbands by openly discussing their love lives, the mother and daughters agree to using newspaper advertisements as a "code" to let the mother know how their love lives are going.
The first one gets married and the second day a telegram arrives with a single message, simply: "MAXWELL COFFEE HOUSE." Mrs. Smith gets the newspaper and checks the Maxwell Coffee House advertisement, and it says: "Good to the last drop..." So, Mrs. Smith is happy.
Then the second daughter gets married. After a week, there is a postcard that reads: "ROTHMAN'S MATTRESSES." So, Mrs. Smith looks at the Rothman's Mattresses ad, and it says: "FULL SIZE, KING SIZE." And Mrs. Smith is happy.
Then it is the third one's wedding. Mrs. Smith is anxious because two weeks have passed and still no message from the third daughter. Finally, after four weeks, comes a letter with the message: "BRITISH AIRWAYS." And Mrs. Smith looks in the newspaper for the British Airways ad, but this time she faints. The ad reads: "THREE TIMES A DAY, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, BOTH WAYS."
2007-11-26 23:20:08 · 20 answers · asked by BRIAN M 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
oohh dear cushion please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-11-27 01:33:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Urim and Thumim were also seer stones. Certain men, called seers, could see the past, present and future through such stones. Joseph seems to have had an unusual gift. The following testimony was given by Martin Harris: "In the first place, he told me of this stone, and proposed to bind it on his eyes, and run a race with me in the woods. A few days after this, I was at the house of his father in Manchester, two miles south of Palmyra village, and was picking my teeth with a pin, while sitting on the bars. The pin caught in my teeth, and dropped from my fingers into the shavings and Northrup Sweet also did the same. We could not find it. I then took Joseph on surprise, and said to him - I said, Take your stone. I had never seen it, and did not know that he had it with him. He had it in his pocket. He took it and placed it in his hat - the old white hat - and placed his face in his hat. I watched him closely to see that he did not look out side; he reached out his hand beyond me on the right, and moved a little stick, and there I saw the pin, which he picked up and gave to me. I know he did not look out of the hat until after he had picked up the pin." Martin Harris later tested Joseph Smith by switching the seer stone for a plain rock that he found, that looked the same. Joseph knew something was wrong immediately, for when he looked at the stone in his hat, he couldn't see a thing. Josiah Stowell testified in court that Joseph had the ability to see fifty feet below ground. When questioned by the judge he added, "Do I believe it? No, it is not a matter of belief. I positively know it to be true." E. W. Vanderhoof wrote of an incident where his grandfather's horse went missing. His grandfather could not find it, and approached Joseph Smith to locate it with his seer stone. Joseph told him the horse was somewhere on the lake shore, and about to be run over to Canada. There he found it and recovered it. The Jerusalem Talmud states: "They are called Urim, derived from OR, 'light,' because they light the way for Israel, showing them what course to follow; Tumim, cognate to tanim, 'whole,' because they make the way 'whole' before them." Only a prophet or high priest was allowed to use them.
2016-05-26 02:33:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny!
2007-11-27 03:07:52 · answer #3 · answered by Nessa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first you saud mr. smith in the question line, but in the sotry you say mrs. smith
fynny
2007-11-26 23:24:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yer missed a great opportunity for a custom job on this one
star
2007-11-27 00:33:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
lol,lol,lol, 10/10, star, excellent joke.
I love this joke.I've read it a few times here,but it always makes me lol.Thnx.
2007-11-27 01:13:44 · answer #6 · answered by xyz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey,,,great joke,,,thx! think I'll copy and paste and send to my friends today.
2007-11-26 23:23:32 · answer #7 · answered by E S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lol. Very funny.
2007-11-26 23:35:39 · answer #8 · answered by LimC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
10/10
2007-11-27 03:08:10 · answer #9 · answered by Luck dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AAHH!
that is funny, really nice one!!
i wonder if we can use such codes, ummmm..
2007-11-26 23:24:58 · answer #10 · answered by A's 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you go in the airport then right back out while they go to yours
2007-11-27 11:14:42 · answer #11 · answered by half-jaw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋