My son is a sucker!?

Question

Serious responses only.

My 17 year old son is such a follower and will not stand up for himself AT ALL. Physically he is not a little wimpy boy he is built very well and very strong...emotionally though he is a pile of mush!

How do I help him??? Is it possible??

Answer 1

Haha, I'm 14, and I've no confidence in myself initially. Try getting him to interact more with other kids as after I've got some friends for camps and such, I found out that I'm much more 'strong' emotionally. You can even have a straight talk with him, face to face. Though I'm too young to understand the consequences. Just stating what I'm thinking, good day to you!

Answer 2

Your attitude toward your son speaks volumes. A *sucker*?Leave the boy alone. Some people are just more emotional than others. They're born that way. If his grades are decent, he's staying out of trouble, what are you moaning about? Not everyone is born with an outgoing, exuberant personality. Let him mature. I have a 15 year old boy who's barely 5 feet tall, skinny as a rail, and extremely agressive, bossy, and will stand up to any senior in high school. LOL.

Sit down and talk to your son. Perhaps he's happy the way he is and doesn't need any help.

Answer 3

i know how you feel. It's not impossible when i was 12 i was a wimp and i can admit it my build was big a had a good frame and i could beet anyone i wanted up but i had a complex my older brother always told me i was week and not strong so whenever i saw a bully i would just take the beating out me but then one day my dad taught me how to fight and that i wasn't weak and when he passed away i taught my bro who is 11 now since he was 3 to be a fighter never to give up never feel pain so he wouldn't ever have to go through the things i went threw. It doesn't come from strength or anything like that i mean . It mainly comes from physiological damage when he was in his early teens he most probably got bullied on a lot and never told anyone now when ever he sees someone that wants to fight him he wont stand up for himself. But of coarse there is a way to help him and most people would say take him to a psychologist but all that will do is MAKE HIM AN ANGRY PERSON so what you have to do is make him let go off all that anger inside of him which he defiantly has and then maybe take him to a martial arts training ground and let him see how strong he really is.

Hope i Helped and Good Luck :)

Answer 4

Your son is fine… The only thing I would question would be his confidence because it seems like despite his ‘size and build’ he allow other characters and personalities to dictate and control the situation. But this isn’t a problem, because this happens in the adult world.

By talking to your son, about his feelings might help you to find out why he behave in this way. For example one of my friends in school was like your son, and because of his size people around him felt threaten and always jumped when he spoke. Due to this he decided to change and become more of a follower, as that allowed him to mix with different social groups. However I still think that your son’s confidence is the key.

Answer 5

What are his hobbies or interests? Does he play an instrument? What music does he like? What are his friends like?

TALK TO HIM. Ask him all about himself, and how he feels about who he is. And most importantly, LISTEN to what he says.

Some people develop at later stages in life. The most important thing is to not make a big issue out of it to him. That will probably have the opposite effect of what you hope to achieve. If he thinks even his mother sees him as a wuss, what hope is there for him to learn to stand up for himself?

Good luck. And if you need someone to talk to, I'm here :)

Answer 6

you sound like my mom.
look. I'm 18 and I've been on the other side of the tracks. {quite recently actually} I'm just going to go out on a limb and say the reason your son acts the way he does is because you expect him to. you want him to stop being a follower? then treat him like a leader. want him to stand up for himself? don't stand up for him. let him be in charge of something in the house {I suggest something fiscal, as it'll sure as heck come in handy when he moves out}

I know this sounds bad, but you might also encourages him to talk back to you. while it is disrespectful, it will instill in him a low respect for authority and a heightened self awareness.

i don't profess to be right. This is just what would have helped me when I lived with my mom.

Answer 7

Did he ask for your help?
What does he think of himself?

you can't help anyone to be something they are not or something they don't want to be.

If he asks for help, get him to work on his confidence.
1. focus on the things he is good at
2. hang around people that make him feel good
3. learn to express himself in any way he can (music, art, sport, dance....)
4. set himself some goals and work towards them
5. have a journal to write his successes
6. learn to say "NO"

It'll take a long time to do just that, help him start with something.

Sometimes we wish our kids to be leaders but they are not. they can still be very happy.

Ronit
http://www.ronitbaras.com

Answer 8

Part of the problem is the way you are talking about him - rather than talking to him.

Sit down and explain how things work in the real world - and how following other people will never lead to anything worthwhile.

Answer 9

I wouldn't think he's a sucker if he avoids conflict and other things like that.

Why would you call him a follower? Maybe he's just a little shy.

I would be shy too if my parent was calling me a sucker.
Perhaps he needs someone to confide in.

Answer 10

Yes, it's possible............get these 2 sets of cards "Medicine Cards" & "Sacred Path Cards" use them as tools to study self with.........go through each one.........every card. Maybe it's not your beleif system.........as for myself I tend to go with what works. Experience is really the best teacher. Have a Great Day!