My husband is a few years younger than I am. He is very nice looking and considered to be an authority in his field (Maritime historian and also the Antarctic). Tonight we attended an annual meeting where he made a presentation. Afterwards, as we were having refreshments and talking with people, this young lady came up to us and said "excuse me for interrupting....." stepped between me and my husband and turned her back to me as if I wasn't there and monopolized my husband in conversation for about ten to fifteen minutes. I should mention that my husband is profoundly deaf but he reads lips and also speaks well enough to give lectures in public. She has done this on several occasions in the past. She never acknowledges me even though I speak to her first and say hello. Tonight after standing for about five minutes with her back to me, I quietly just left the area and went out and sat in the car. What would you do? I think she is very rude.
2007-11-26 21:48:47 · 16 answers · asked by Diane B 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I spoke to my husband about it and he agreed that she was rude. He also agreed that if it happens again, I need not worry about it, as he will handle it by putting his arm about me and telling her that we were just leaving. Thank you one and all for the great advice
2007-11-28 20:07:54 · update #1
Next time step around her and put your arm around your husbands waist, as wives can do in a formal or public setting, it is a natural thing for a wife to do. Then you draw your husband aside and tell him that this person is rude to you and that he needs to acknowledge you as his wife (as an introduction) when speaking to her. She already knows you are his wife but in doing this he will be telling her subtly that you are included in the conversation Don't go to the car, you are leaving her with an opportunity to learn how to run you off. Do you feel that she is flirting? If so don't remove your self as she will see this as a good thing, and try harder.
2007-11-27 17:45:00 · answer #1 · answered by Linda S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is this a colleague of your husbands? I think you should come up with some clever remark to say to her that lets her know that you aren't going to let her do that again. If you use tact, it will not be rude or provoke a fight. Maybe if you talked to your husband about it first and let him know that it offends you. That way when she does it again, he will be sensitive to your feelings. Also when she does this, you could stand next to your husband and hold his arm or interrupt her. Have a code word between your husband and you to let him know that you want to go. If she says excuse me for interrupting next time, you should say something like "actually you are interrupting us and we were just leaving..". Good luck and I think you have every right to be upset.
2007-11-27 06:01:28 · answer #2 · answered by Dragon Spider 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I agree the is rude and her behavior needs to be brought into line. But I'm also surprised you husband doesn't defuse the situation by drawing you back into the conversation and making it clear that he won't allow someone to be rude to his wife. Simple body language like inviting you around from the back of her to his side and putting his hand around your waist would be enough to make it clear that he will not have you excluded and that you are important to him. Discuss it with him before your next possible encounter with her.
Your husband needs to be aware that you are bothered by her rudeness.
2007-11-27 06:49:01 · answer #3 · answered by Miss Sally Anne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree, I think she is very rude as well. Honestly, if this happens again, I would actually tap her on the shoulder and point out to her that what she's just done is rude.
Maybe she's not aware, or maybe she's trying to flirt with your husband. Either way I think what she did was rude and unacceptable.
2007-11-27 05:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by Zarathustra 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
She is definitely rude and I feel she is purposely trying to disrespect you. She would acknowledge me alright. The next time she butts in and steps between you and your husband, I'd say "No, excuse me. How are you today?". I'd extend my hand so the two of you can shake hands. I'd also get right in the middle of the two of them. Then I'd say to my husband, "We really need to get going".
2007-11-27 09:13:34 · answer #5 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you have every right to be seriously annoyed by her.dont walk away he is your husband stand up for yourself,you dont have to be rude just firm,get in between them and join in the conversation if she doesnt like it tough.she will get the message. im afraid you have been making it too easy for her.
edit-i think your husband could also be a little more pro-active here,does he realise how this must upset you?
2007-11-27 06:01:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
oh oh little lady !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first do not go to conclusions but you are right if she were not trying to act like you were not there she would of acknowledge you.first explain to hubby your feelings.if he said he did not notice you left............whew my wife leaves im with her.no matter what.tell him how it makes you feeland you excpect him to rectify it.im sure he enjoys the attention but you are his first attention point.job or no da//////job.now tell him this is not first time.be totally honest on your feelings.and never let him go alone to these things. tell him shes very rude to you .if he is true to you hell tekll hwer.if they go behind your back take away some of his ah ah PRIVILAGES YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.IM SO SORRY ESPECIALLY WITH PHILLIP BEING ILL. LOL LOL jay
2007-11-27 08:12:24 · answer #7 · answered by jayhawker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you tell your husband something? It's not her fault...its his, because he lets her treat u like that... why doesnt he say excuse me... and bring you into the convo? The problem is with ur husband not the chick!
2007-11-27 09:31:00 · answer #8 · answered by C-DoG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just interrupt her the next time she does it and say you have to go with your husband to get something to drink. And tell your husband beforehand so he knows what to expect. Then just cut her off midsentence, it will be funny.
2007-11-27 06:00:26 · answer #9 · answered by days_o_work 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Is she trying to be in plain view so he can read her lips? that being said...I would haul her little butt off to a quiet corner and with a smile on my face I would tell her that you have her number and to knock it off before you do it for her. And remind her that she should be ashamed of herself for her inappropriate behavior!
2007-11-27 09:22:48 · answer #10 · answered by bells 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋