Ski season is almost here! Hence, the following list of Exercises to get you prepared:
16. Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.
15. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.
14. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.
13. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses.
12. Throw away a hundred dollar bill-now.
11. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car. Sporadically drop things.
10. Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes.
9. Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.
8. Secure one of your ankles to a bed post and ask a friend to run into you at high speed.
7. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $8.50 for a hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line.
6. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
5. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an 18 wheeler.
4. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes.
3. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.
2. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor.
1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until it's time for the real thing!
2007-11-26 20:43:32 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
hahaha very good thanks
2007-11-27 04:30:17 · answer #1 · answered by .... 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Great joke. Just had our first ski trip of the season to Austria 2 weeks ago.
2007-11-27 04:58:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't snow in this part of Victoria so I guess I know what I can do the next time the kids ask about going skiing, or anything else snow related.... hehehehe
2007-11-27 05:02:55 · answer #3 · answered by Opalfire 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Good one keep them coming have a star
2007-11-27 06:07:36 · answer #4 · answered by BRIAN M 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ha!good joke!
2007-11-27 04:48:14 · answer #5 · answered by Hellooooo 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
hehehe, i knew there was a few reasons why i don't go skiing, pmsl hun, loved it
star time
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2007-11-27 07:09:59 · answer #6 · answered by tastybits 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ooooh ouch!!
Why anyone would wanna ski is beyond me!!
Sun, sea and sand for me!!
*
2007-11-27 09:29:12 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
lol,10/10,star, very funny indeed.Thnx.
2007-11-27 05:16:23 · answer #8 · answered by xyz 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha ha you`re on form today good one,,,,,
2007-11-27 04:48:51 · answer #9 · answered by McCanns are guilty 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
~R~O~F~L~
"Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away."
cracked me up.
Thanks.
.
2007-11-27 04:51:27 · answer #10 · answered by doug4jets 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
excellent as usual*
2007-11-29 13:07:37 · answer #11 · answered by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋