Your boyfriend is poorer than you now,but you love him and trust him,how do you handle your marriage's plan?

Question

i want to know how people see from their site..thanks

Answer 1

It largely depends on how secure he feels about your income. Many people (especially men, it has to be said), find it difficult to be "kept" by their partner.

Though these days there's no reason for this to be the case, it still happens and there's little point in trying to fight it. I would suggest that you try to keep the wedding costs down, so that hes not feeling like you're paying the lion's share of an enormous sum. However, if there's something you REALLY want from the day, then try to save your spending for this and cut costs elsewhere.

He's probably very torn between feeling resentful that he can't pay for your big day, and wanting you to have everything you wish from it. try to be understanding and sensitive to that.

It's quite normal for a bride to buy her own dress, so you could go to town there and have a simple ceremony/reception that he can feel he's contributing to.

Another option is to have the ceremony on a beach somewhere... combining the honeymoon with a very cheap ceremony. You can have the expensive dress you want and he can be part of the other costs (relatives can buy their own tickets if they want to attend or you can have a big party on your return, which doesn't have to be really expensive).

At the end of the day, you're getting married, and this is the important aspect of the day. This costs very little, the rest is just garnish.

Answer 2

My husband is a chef and chef's wages are notoriously bad until they work their way up to head chef, this can take years of hard work. When I met my husband he was earning almost £6000 a year less than me, I am not a materialistic person and was never after a rich man, I earn enough to support myself so was always content with what I have. I am more interested in a person that has ambition, and goals in life, which my other half most certainly is, and he has worked so hard to achieve his goal, we have been married for 3 months now and he was recently promoted to the next level and is now on the same wages as me. I would not marry someone who refused to work out of laziness.

Answer 3

I'd put off the marraige (or living together, which is basically marriage without the protections you'd get from a marriage licence) until he completes college or training or otherwise gets his professional life back on track. There are too many sad stories about women sacrificing to put hubby through college only to be dumped for "trophy wives" ten years later when he becomes established in his career. "Support" him thru school by doing his laundry or running errands for him, even by giving him textbooks instead of silk pajamas for his birthday, but don't get into a situation where you are paying his rent and car insurance, giving him money for haircuts and cigarettes. Inwardly, he will resent being dependent on you and continue to resent that he didn't put himself thru college. In Japanese, there is word that means both gratitude and resentment.

Answer 4

If you are concerned about this, than you are not truly ready to marry this person. If marriage is what you think it is, a financial merger, then perhaps you will be better served in subscribing to a dating service on line that will provide you prescreened applicants who have complete dossiers including their credit score and balance sheet that meet your requirements. Then from that batch you can quick date them to weed out the ones you don;t like and then date the best 3 for a few months til you hopeful find the one you want to marry. I know it sounds very clinical, but I think thats what you are looking for.

Answer 5

so what?
i make more than my fiance. he doesn't have any issues with that.
mostly it's because i have been at my job for 5 years. he has been at his new job for 6 months. he is a prime candidate for a promotion right now that will give him a very large pay increase.
he has ambition and determination, it's not like he wants to stay at a below what's he's worth pay rate.
we simply pay for what we can when we can. when we get our tax refund at the begining of the new year we will pay the remainder of what's due.

Answer 6

if you are happy with the guy and accept the fact that he is poorer then things should be okay with you guys....but i think your bf shouldn't be satisfied with how things are...nothing wrong with improving oneself, right? as for the marriage plans...try to keep it simple...you can still make a beautiful wedding without splurging....if your wedding is still a long way to go, you can also suggest to your bf to set aside a portion of his income for the wedding....so he wont feel slighted that you are spending for everything...you know, so it wont hurt his ego....

Answer 7

Two words:
Pre-nuptial Agreement.
If I may add, Pre-nuptial Agreement is not really the same as having a conditional relationship. For marriage must be without any conditions whatsoever. Rather it is somewhat a net that could catch you when you fall...

Answer 8

I did this! I married for love, not for financial reasons - I have two degrees and can make my own money!
We just planned the type of wedding we could afford to host ourselves!

Answer 9

If you truly Love him this shouldn't matter ya get married and plan it together If it matters than maybe you should ask your self why your getting married and make sure it's for the right reasons

Answer 10

If I were a girl, I would choose a man who is smart & hardworker, willing to struggle for success, respectable, respect himself & others, loving & generous.

If you are worried that he will leave you & take your money, than you should consider pre-marriage agreement.