Making an *** out of myself in speech class?

Question

I've noticed recently that I appear to have an annoying lack of confidence when speaking in front of others, and it obviously affected my speech presentation.
I'll go into unintentional nervous breakdowns even though I know what to say and start getting a raspy, shaky voice. It's embarrassing and annoying!

for instance this morning in class we were required to bring an object. I brought an antique white owl figure, and placed it on the desk when it was my turn to present. I could not articulate what I wanted to say. I don't know if it was nerves, the 25 mg of Prozac for panic disorder mostly, not depression (only my 4th week), or the vistaril I took to soothe me.
Now I know I'll avoid vistaril though. It made me real sleepy.
My topic was morbid. The intention was to express my positive connection with something that represents death. After the suicide of my great grandfather due to failure, his eldest daughter (my grandmother) was given a little owl as a reminder of him. My great grandfather always spoke of how owls were mythologically beautiful.
Although I never met him, I feel spiritually attached for many reasons. 1, we both seem to be the only artists in the family (he painted, wrote, and sculpted), 2nd we shared the same birthday, 2 he suffered from extreme depression/panic. I can't believe the only family member I can identify with is deceased.
Sounds creepy. What's even odder is that I dreamt of him when I was about 11. In my dream I was a child clutching his arm, dreading the fact that the funeral car was coming for him. When it came, I begged "don't leave me, take me." All he said was "go back inside, not yet."(of course I wasn't going to bring up the dream, that's pretty private. I'm just using the dream to show the impact he has had in my life)
Going back to the owl, I wanted to describe how the owl was like a torch when all is dark. It reminds me that taking drastic measures will never rid you of problems. In the end those who you leave behind are wounded.
Was this insane to even bring up in class?
He did specify to bring something were emotionally attached to....something significant.
I just completely lost my concentration and the transition of idea to idea.
It was ******* humilated.
People even pointed out that I looked nervous.
I slured my words, stop mid-sentence out of nowhere and not know what to say.
I don't want to show up to class anymore. And sadly, I've got another final upcoming speech.
I want to put myself out of my misery.
I'd really appreciate suggestions as the problem has been nagging me.

right now I feel totally inadequate.
Stupid
Ridiculous
Weird (I'm sure thats what everyones thinks in class...especially the topic)
Angry
Frustrated

I'm holding back tears

Answer 1

practice,practice,practice, the key to any public speaking is practice, practice your speeches in front of small groups of people you trust friends and family, ask if you can record your speech on tape if you feel you can't do it in front of people, some times keeping it short and sweet can do wonders for most peoples confidence, speeches to long often have a tendency to make us lose our focus, and then we begin to ramble off topic. how does your speech make you feel? do you feel passionate about it, describe the object of the speech and what you are most proud of about it. I'm an artist as well so i can relate, but you've been given this assignment because you are an extremely gifted individual, your smart, your articulate ,and from what i see a good writer, you can do this just believe in yourself, and never give up, there an old saying if at first you don't succeed try and try again. stick with it girl.

Answer 2

I can relate to what you say very much, I have had bad experiences like that which ruined my confidence in speaking out loud to groups.

It is a very difficult problem because once you start to lose yoru confidence and fail and feel the awful things you do such as humiliation, inadequate, stupid, not normal, etc - it is natural that next time when faced with it that you will be anxious and want to avoid the situation - to protect yourself from this hurt and humiliation you felt.

You clearly were anxious and the problem is that in such situations you become fearful of the anxiety that has been triggered, you start feeling shame, humiliation, embarrassed people seeing you like that, and then you start to worry more and more and that makes you more anxious, more panicky and then you start to really find it hard to cope and just speak.

In my case, what triggered anxiety was that in my school days I was ridiculed a lot over how I looked and speech impediment back then, and so being at the front of all these people who were always critical of me was very scary, I felt people would laugh at me, ridicule me, etc so I was anxious, and that anxiety and worry made it very difficult for me to speak calmly and confidently. The bad experience of failing made me fear speaking like that again.
Do you lack confidence in yourself for anything? Have you suffered ridicule or put downs by people that makes you feel anxious being centre of attention of people?

I firmly believe the answer for myself was to develop confidence in how I look, to no longer feel self conscious or shame in how I look and to develop confidence in my abilities to speak confidently and fluently - because after past failures my confidence that I could do this task had completely drained. I have been working hard at changing those beliefs.
Also I have been working on overcoming the shame that I felt about failing in these situations. I mean look at what you say, you felt humiliated, inadequate, stupid, etc, - but realistically is it really that bad? Does struggling with your nerves in a situation that everyone hates means you are bad person, stupid, non intelligent, ugly, weird, etc? No it doesn't. Don't feel ashamed of what happened.

Maybe I have gone too deep here and your problems are not as deep as mine? But hope what I say is of some help.

Answer 3

trust me, i feel your pain. i'm also taking a speech class that i hate like i've never hated before. i want to drop it, but it's a requirement...otherwise i'd drop it on the first hot thing, smokin! anyways, what i try to do to not totally freak out is to read the speech that i've written. i'm not sure what you guys are allowed and not allowed to do, but we are allowed to type ours out (actually we have to, so we can give the teacher a copy) and then read it during our speech. just try to tell yourself that you are not the only one who has to give a speech. better yet, you're not the only one who gets nervous getting up in front of people. look forward to the time when the speech will be over. even set a goal, or more like a reward, for yourself at the end of the day; that will give you something to look forward to....cuz you know that the time WILL pass for you to induldge in that goal. also, when you do get up there, take a deep breath...even more than one if you need to. you can even make a brief remark about how you get really nervous...that will take away some of the pressure and anxiety off both you and your audience, cuz they'll know how you're feeling and won't be thrown off by whatever nervousness you show. don't take yourself TOO serious when presenting your speech. for example, if you mess up, don't be afraid to giggle at yourself...it will put yourself, and again, the audience, at ease and lighten up the atmosphere.

meanwhile, try not to feel so bad....but i can truly understand your feelings. i can't wait til this class is over with. we've got one more speech that we will be starting next week...the thing i hate is that they're group speeches! we've gotta have 5 in our group, and each person must present a 5 minutes portion. i'm dreading it for so many reasons: i hate speech, i don't want to meet with a group, and i don't like having to rely on, or being relied on, for a project...i like working at my own pace and to my own liking. and i've cried many tears over it as well. well enough about me....i honestly wish you the best of luck with your last speech!!! don't worry....pretty soon, the whole class will be over and done with, and you will be proud of yourself for getting through it!

Answer 4

I think anyone in your situation would find that a difficult task. Speaking about a sensitive subject like that infront of people would make the most confident person apprehensive. Was a very personal thing to do - i wouldn't have liked to have done that. Try not to worry as much. For your next speech, choose something not so personal and you should find that easier. x

Answer 5

2 BE HONEST YOU PROBLEM MAY NOT BE NERVES.WELL IT COULD BE PANIC BROUGHT ON BY A RARE CONDITION CALLED SPASMODIC DYSPHONIA WHICH MAKES THE THROAT TIGHT UNDER STRESS.THEY GIVE BOTOX INJECTIONS IN THE THROAT AND YOU WILL BE CURED.SEE A THROAT SPECIALIST.HONESTLY I WAS LIKE YOU.READING OUT IN CLASS WAS AN ORDEAL YET I WAS NEVER SHY I COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHY SPEAKING WAS SUCH AN ISSUE."SPASMODIC DYSPHONIA".I REKON.LOOK IT UP...ITS A TENSING OF THE VOCAL CHORDS.DONT WORRY..

Answer 6

i dont kno what to say except maybe you could ask your teacher if you may speak first so that you dont lose your concentration....
after that, you might try taking 10 deep breaths before speaking, and going over what you plan to say before you speak.
<3
it's ok, you'll get through it. :)
just hang in there!