I have had this friend for about 17 years. We really were the best of friends. Life happened and we just never dated. We have both watched each other have children. Find love, looses loved one, move to different state, and...you know....grow up. We are in our 30's now and I have been single for 8 1/2 years. He is still married, but has slept on the couch for about 4 years. I'm also friend with his wife (as good as I can be concidering) They have both told me on several accasions thet they are just together for their kids. (12 & 9) I know it will not last forever because they are not happy together.
Our relationship is getting closer and closer. I know that it is not a perfect start. Well not really a start at all, but do you think that the friendship will overcome all or does the situation automatically destroy everything?
2007-11-26 17:29:01 · 14 answers · asked by autumnbliss 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you already sense a change in the atmosphere and want to temp things, then you keep on going as you do with the "wander thoughts." If you want to maintain the friendship then only see them together or for girlfriend (female/wife)coffee clatches. Otherwise they are only fooling themsleves about staying around for the kids. They (the kids) already know things are amiss. So, if they don't have a relationship with God in which "he can make all things new" if they are willing to let him work in their marriage. Then they are only going through the emotions and setting an example for their kids. For them to end it would have to be a decision they alone would have to make. Don't add to it.
2007-11-26 17:39:51 · answer #1 · answered by agcgartner 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am still young, and have no children but, be ware that you are not just finding a relationship with each other just because they are the only one arround. It is a proven fact that if you have a group of people who have nothing incommen and find nothing attracted about one another stuck together, whither it be in an working enviorment or what be that they will end up dating or becoming attracted ot one another jsut from shear lack of options... also if you havent seen it watch Spanglish with adam sandler
2007-11-26 17:36:44 · answer #2 · answered by freemeg9 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who are you kidding? Sleeping on the couch?? PLEEZE...Wake up and smell the coffee. Why hasn't he moved out? Divorced? He hasn't because he chooses NOT to! You refer to your relationship as "friendship". A friend wouldn't
entertain the thought. How about keeping your distance. If he truly wants to take it to the next level then do it respectfully, AFTER THE DIVORCE.
2007-11-26 17:44:27 · answer #3 · answered by RockyL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never know until you do it. I would immediately do it and if possible, I'd try to stay friends with his wife. That may not be possible, but mature people have found that keeping an open honest relationship is preferred.
Even if you can't reamin friends with his wife, you should do it anyway. She doesn't want him as much as you do. Maybe he should be with you. Maybe he's not worth it. But how are we to know? One thing for sure, you will never know how deep murky water is until you dive in.
2007-11-26 17:36:32 · answer #4 · answered by Will - 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a strong possibility that it may work. Only you have to wait until they will decide to separate or divorce so as not to ruin the possibilities. Anyways you may not wait for too long cuz as you have mentioned they will not last forever.
Good luck hope your wishes comes true.
2007-11-26 17:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by poorguy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LISTEN CAREFULLY:
He wants to leave his wife and a relationship with you is the best excuse to do it.
Step back and make him grow some balls. If he wants you, he'll come to you free and clear instead making a big personal drama out of it.
2007-11-26 17:32:08 · answer #6 · answered by Jen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of their relationship, you have to realize that most relationships that starts with infidelity, end in one. If he cheats on his wife with you, what's stopping him from cheating on you eventually when he and you get bored with each other too?
I agree with Jen's answer 100%.
2007-11-26 17:34:41 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very dicey. Proceed with caution, but proceed. I would try to keep it secret as long as possible. But be prepared for him too move in if all hell breaks loose.
2007-11-26 17:52:53 · answer #8 · answered by Peter R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when u r emotionally close and understanding u can develop relations. even extra marital relations with his wife's consent can work without breaking with his wife. both spouses are your friends and they can accommodate u in their fold.
2007-11-26 17:34:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too messy, move on to someone else.
2007-11-26 17:37:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋