What shows genuine love: silence or a rebuke?

Question

Zen, does one show love by keeping silent or giving a rebuke. That is a very specific question. Circumstances do not change the central question.

Answer 1

Actually genuine rebuke shows you love someone see Proverbs 27:14 The Bible also says in proverbs that wounds of a friend are more valuable than kisses from an enemy. A true friend tells the truth because they care and want to see you grow and to better but in rebuking like anything else one must speak the truth in love Ephesians 4:15. I beleive in loving and encouraging one another and encouragement is my spiritual gift although I have others as well. But there are times when rebuking is needed and it only makes a person stronger I will be honest with you there are times when I was rebuked or challenged or pushed to do better and become more I was bitter and resentful because I felt I was doing all I can but these situations made me a better person more useful for Gods kindgom and the Body of Christ. Also I have a very godly husband who has challenged me when I have been proud and arrogant and requires that I put a dollar in the jar every time I use curse or swear words, as loving and nuturing as I am I do have a big mouth and I can be very obnoxoius and fresh and judgemental. My husband holds me accountable and that it what is lacking in some churches today and if more people were accountable in leadership and sitting under godly authority many spiritual leaders would not be falling into the sins that drag down the body fo Christ and give Christianity a bad and sour name. Thank you for your questions as they are helping me grow in my walk with the Lord. Peace be with you and God bless e4g

Answer 2

It depends. If we are led by the Spirit, we can follow the peace within. When our motivation is love, we will know when to speak and when to keep silent.

We are exhorted to speak the truth in love, to build up one another, and not to tear down. (Ephesians 4:15)

We are also exhorted to encourage one another in the Lord, and minister grace in our speech, not to be legalistic in our words. (Ephesians 4:29-30)

Sometimes, we need to rebuke gently out of love. Though it may hurt, it's for the other person's good. "Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." (Proverbs 27:6-7) Jesus Himself gently rebuked His disciples wherever necessary, and He knows it's for their own good.

On the other hand, there are times to keep silent. "Rebuke is more effective for a wise man than a hundred blows on a fool." (Proverbs 17:10) When dealing with someone who despises wisdom, sometimes it's better to keep silent and pray for him or her. Only the Lord can change a person's heart.

Just to add that we all fall short in some ways or other - there are times we spoke too much or didn't speak up when we should have. Thank God there is no condemnation for us in Christ, and we can start afresh, and not look back with regrets, for we can still receive His wisdom and grace to live each new day for His glory.

Answer 3

A rebuke certainly doesn't show love. A rebuke results from making a judgement that the other person was wrong or erred. Jesus said not to judge others.

Silence can also be judgemental. Anything that results from judgement is not love but a belief in one's own righteousness.

Answer 4

It's hard, Cause, if you rebuke someone and do it in love; they'll still be offended. If you are silent then they just get angry.
I've done both and they have both smacked me in the face.
Best thing to do is ask God to do the rebuking. He has just the perfect way to show someone when they are wrong. I have eaten much Humble Pie and I have gone with my tail between my legs to apologize to someone.
Sometimes God rebukes me quickly when I have done or said the wrong thing.

Answer 5

Rebuke. Silence on a subject could only lead to worse things.

Answer 6

It depends on the circumstance and the motives of the person involved.... Here is an example from Gods Word.

Jude 1:21 Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.
:22 And of some have compassion, making a difference:
:23 And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.

Answer 7

An ignorant rebuke shows not love but arrogance and folly.

Answer 8

when I am feeling sad or awful...silence is always better than yelling at me or telling me I am wrong to feel the way I do. When I am happy and feeling great, if you don't like it, I would prefer that you be silent.

Answer 9

a polite rebuke, kind sir.

Answer 10

idk...my dad used to invoke absolute obedience with just a look...you know..."the look"....

i must say that "the look" kept me from making many a dumb decision...

he gave "the look" because he loved us...

but oh, how i hated the lectures....where he went on and on and on and on...repeating himself, tapping on tables or walls for emphasis - the crazy stories he used to illustrate his points...i used to do my trig homework in my head during those lectures...