So, I've been dating this guy for almost four months and he is amazing to me but there is a problem. Everytime I go over to his house it seems like he's pushing me to do 'it' and he manages to get me to move a little closer to it, too. As a teenager, I know I shouldn't and want to wait for marriage. I think the reason we keep getting so close is because I'm always so free when I'm with him and don't even realize what I'm really doing. I don't know how to explain to him what we're doing is wrong and everytime I've tried he's used all my weak spots to make me regret it. I don't want to end this relationship over it but am thinking about how it might be regrettable in my future. So, how can I get him to lay off without basically killing everything we've worked so hard to get?
2007-11-26 13:50:51 · 19 answers · asked by Living Life 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As a teenager I won't say I do love someone but maybe think wasn't the right word. I'm pretty sure I do but won't say it's love til I got something to prove it.
And everyone keeps telling me I'm the best thing to happen to him out of all the girl's he's dated. Even his ex's!
I don't know if he's even realized he keeps changing the subject and makes me feel bad when he does over it.
2007-11-26 15:00:12 · update #1
I think the question here should be "what is HE doing to keep the relationship going???"
You are clearly doing "your part" in keeping things going - and all this pushy prick is doing is using EVERY trick in the book in order to get laid!!
One final point - if you THINK you love someone, then you don't...
Love is something that you KNOW - there are NO uncertainties when it comes to Love. Unfortunately, this is NOT what is happening with this creep...
2007-11-26 14:06:03 · answer #1 · answered by kr_toronto 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in some cases i agree with the first two answers.
you should seriously tell your boyfriend that you want him to respect your feelings and your body.
i understand how it feels to love someone
or feel like he can make your day so much more better just by hugging him and kissing him.
BUT, there are many other guys out there that are asking for a relationship to be broken because of there personal desires.
sometimes, in order to choose what is best for your life, you have to sacrifice things that you don't want to give up. but that's what makes it a sacrifice that you can be proud of.
now, i'm not saying you should BREAK up with him. i'm just saying that only if he doesn't understand that you want to wait till marriage (which i proudly support 100%) then it's best if you take time away from him. personally, i think you should break up with him if he keeps pushing you to do things like that because the break won't help him, it will only help you.
a break up with help you and help him learn a lesson.
relationships aren't all about "it".
it's going to be hard, but if you don't do anything about it you're just gonna regret it...
trust me..
2007-11-26 14:01:16 · answer #2 · answered by taking chances 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you're saying he's manipulative, insensitive to your wishes, and takes advantage of the fact that you aren't really paying attention sometimes. Oh then then uses your weak spots to make you regret. This is the definition of a jerk. This is called a wake up call.
You can get him to lay off by telling him to quit being a jerk and to lay off. Don't fear losing him. He might just begin to respect you and you will have a great relationship with MUTUAL respect.
2007-11-26 13:58:31 · answer #3 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you might decide to tell him that you're not ready for sex and if he's going to keep pushing the issue then you're not going to be able to continue seeing him. This would tell you what's more important to him...you or sex. More importanly, if you're not ready you would be smart to stick to your decision to wait -- even if you love him. When alot of parents have "the talk" they say "you need to wait until you're married" (maybe not realistic), or "you need to wait until you've found the right person" but I think it's even more important to wait until you're ready to share your body with the person that you're with. Sometimes that takes longer than finding the right person. Good Luck!
2007-11-26 14:04:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, if he's as into you as you say you are into him, he'll respect what you want and back off if you just tell him what you just told us. And if he doesn't then he's not the kind of guy you should be with if you're not ready. I think it's okay for a guy to suggest or ask, but it's not our right to get pushy about it.
Tell him you don't want to do anything until you're married. His reaction will tell you if he's in the relationship because he cares or if he just wants to "do it" with you.
2007-11-26 14:01:11 · answer #5 · answered by black_ops1941 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
David is RIGHT! Real men control themselves and learn to wait, if that's what you want. He may not be using you, but he IS numb to your feelings. I would worry that he "uses your weak spots to make you regret it" that is NOT a healthy relationship for you.
I know of a similar couple. They both said they wanted to wait, but he pushed and she did nothing to stop it that he couldn't manipulate. They BOTH regretted the outcome. Good luck! And may God bless your decisions!
2007-11-26 14:01:11 · answer #6 · answered by Oh it's me! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well the answer is in the question itself, u keep pushing him to talk about, if he wont respect ur decision to wait until marrige, then he has got to go. i know it sounds mean but i am 17 and probably the only vergin left. i feel the same way u do about it, and i have had my share of guys just like the one u are dating. i feel in love {or so i thought} with one like that, and i, almost, feel into his charm, but my faith brought me back. i would try to get him to talk about it with me, but he would only use my weak spots to change the subject and only get me closer to actually doing "the deed" finally i realized that this guy isn't right if he aint willing to wait. so my advice and my answer to u is eighter get him to talk to u or leave.
2007-11-26 13:59:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You explain it to him exactly the same way you explained it to us! And as for him being amazing to you... Trying to get you to do something with which you are uncomfortable is anything but amazing!
You will be well served, as you mature, to make decisions with your head and not your emotions. You know what you want, now be strong and follow your values. You CAN do this!
2007-11-26 13:58:01 · answer #8 · answered by Michael 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him how it is, how you want it and how far he can go.. me and this guy from school used to mess around to but we never really went out he went a little far to me and i talked to him about it and he did what was kinda happeing to you he makes you regret what you said but keep your mind in telling him how you feel about this.. the guy got mad at me for a while and now we are like best friends if you tell him how you want it and if he is really the guy for you he will understand.
well i give you all my luck and i hope it works out in the end!!
2007-11-26 13:57:35 · answer #9 · answered by jessie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know it hurts because you have feeligns for him but you have to tell him straight up that it is not something you are interested in and set boundaries before you start getting intimate or else it will be even harder to stop. if he does not respect your wishes than he simply is not worth it.
2007-11-26 13:57:42 · answer #10 · answered by CarlaDee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋