my fear of death...is it hereditary??

Question

I AM A 28 YEAR OLD WIFE AND MOTHER OF 4. i WAS RAISED ROMAN CATHOIC WITH A STRONG BELIEF IN JESUS AND GOD AND GOING TO HEAVEN. DURING MY TEENAGE YEARS, I CAN REMEMBER SITTING UP AT NIGHT NOT SLEEPING AND THINKING OF WHAT IS TO HAPPEN AFTER I DIE. NOW AT 28, I STILL DO THE SAME THING. ANYTIME I THINK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS AFTER DEATH I FEEL THE FEAR GRIP ME FOR THAT MOMENT, ALMOST LIKE A MOMENT OF PANIC WHEN I THINK THAT WHEN WE DIE THERE MAY BE ABSOLUTY NOTHING AT ALL, EVEN THOUGH I GREW UP BELEIVING THAT THERE WAS HEAVEN. iT IS THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD. I FEEL GUILTY FOR HAVING THIS FEAR BECAUSE I TRY MY BEST TO BE A GOOD CATHOLIC .
RECENTLY MY 5 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER HAS STARTED COMING TO ME CRYING BECAUSE SHE DOESNT WANT TO "BE DEAD" . SHE ASKS QUESTIONS AND CRIES AND IS SCARED. I HAVE NEVER EXPRESSED MY FEARS TO MY CHILDREN, AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO REASSURE HER THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE WHEN I AM SCARED OUT OF MY MIND ABOUT THE SUBJECT. I DID THIS AT MY DAUGHTERS AGE ALSO.

Sorry about my "bad internet ettiquette" with the caps on. I need to brush up on my internet etiquette.whatever that is.

Answer 1

I'd like to preface this answer by saying that if you post another questions in all capitals I'm going to ignore it. It's really bad Internet etiquette.

It is human to fear the unknown. And since that fear appears to transcend cultural borders, it seems likely that it has some genetic component. So in that sense a fear of death could be considered hereditary.
Funnily enough however, scientifically we do know pretty much exactly what happens after death. We know that a functional brain is required for every aspect of our consciousness (thinking, memories, personality, etc.). So without a functional brain, it stands to reason that your consciousness will no longer exist. Hence, death is the end of life.
The reason many people find this hard to accept is, as you touch on in your question, because they have been brought up to expect something so much better. While there's no reason to fear nonexistence, it does seem like a pretty big let down compared with eternal happiness.
Perhaps you should think about going to a therapist with your daughter to address the specific causes of your shared fear of death.

Answer 2

I read the other notes and know there is lots of stress for you . Being alone in early child rearing is a challenge too. I remember I had death fears when I was small but I was not encouraged to share ideas with mother. I don't know if my kids did the same as divorce didn't allow time for sharing everything. Just keep on each day doing as you are able and all will turn out for the better. Traditions are inherited from family to family that is for sure. You two are working hard to keep the new house too. Yup I used to fear after death there would be nothing to do forever.

Answer 3

Do not fear of death.It will come to all of us without announce cement.Allah spoke in the Qur'an that all creatures including humans who have soul will die.Ready or not ready we will die at a certain time in the future.Death is the secret of Allah
.Many babies born and in a short time die or maybe die in the womb.There are so many people after grown up died before married and there are so many people died in their old age.The death is coming not in the same age and same cause.Allah spoke in the Qur'an that although we are well guarded the death angel will come to us if the time for it. has come.We should thank to Allah that Allah have created us a long life.You have got married and have a nice daughter .All
ah bless you.Do not be worry about death.Allah also spoke in the Qur'an that our lives on this earth are very short like a pup
pet show we the beginning and the end.So we should make so many good doings which will have benefit for other people
We should do what have been instructed by Allah and we should avoid what should not be done by Allah.Suicide is prohibited and hated by Allah let the death come to us as Allah's willingness.We can not prevent it from coming..Man
proposes but Allah disposes.Tell your daughter that Allah is merciful and loveful.Allah will protect us if we always remember Allah and love Allah very much.Please ask for Allah's help to show us the right path.Amien.

Answer 4

You seem to want an answer very badly. I hope I can give you something worth thinking about.
I don't think fear is hereditary but is passed on in many subtle ways and through meta-messages we are unaware we communicate. My view on death parallels those of Shakespeare's Caesar. I read that over 35 years ago so won't try to quote, just paraphrase, but maybe someone here will remember the quote. Basically Caesar said, why fear death since it is the inevitable end. A coward dies a thousand deaths, a brave man dies once.
Don't waste the energy worrying, have faith that all will be well. And enjoy your daughter and life. Fear will only rob you of what there is to enjoy here and now.

Answer 5

I really think that she's afraid of death cause of her past lives she died a horrible, painful death and now in this life you fear the same. It is important to realize that death is just another realm with much more life than this one. Our bodies are just shells for our souls to live and learn in. Once death comes you move on to that special place in the beyond. If your mind is tormented, this could also be a reason to be afraid of dying cause your state of mind is torment.

There are books and CD's out there that will help you get through past life problems and even get therapy to overcome the fear.

Answer 6

Email me. I had the exact fear as you my entire life, and at 28, earlier this year, God put that to rest.

I was EXACTLY where you are, now I look forward to death as the time I will be with God. I want to live a long and happy life, but I also welcome it if it were to come tomorrow, since that's when I return to my Father.

Answer 7

NEXT TIME TURN OFF THE CAPS. Its a lot easier to read.

Now, I have never heard of a fear being hereditary, but that doesn't mean it's not.

Answer 8

fear of death is a basic survival mechanism, but in your case, you're letting it get the better of both yourself and your daughter.....focus on living life in the present, rather than worrying about death, everyone dies, it's part of the natural order of things...

Answer 9

Perhaps you should talk to a priest.

Answer 10

no my friend
10 points please
for my answer was short and simple
:)