hlep again please!!??

Question

ok i`m a 45 year old man i have three kids my oldest daughter vicky she has been changing since she was 9 now she 10 she been backtalking sneaking out at night not listening 2 me anymore or my wife she if really stronger then both of us and she almost hurted my wife when she walked down the stairs and now she call her little brothers and sisters name and cuss word and me and my wife
PLEASE HELP ME!!
I`VE TRYED EVERYTHING!!should i send heer 2 on of her reletive??cause when she with her anuts and uncle she always good

Answer 1

same answer... figure out who the ADULT is in the home, and take it from there.

Answer 2

Feel (somewhat) glad that she's different with others...at least it gives you hope that there's a respectful little girl under there somewhere! She's probably different to everyone else because they treat her different...more like a adult-in-training than a little kid. While a lot of it may be chalked up to growing pains, there's got to be more to it than that if she lashing out like she is. As you've indicated, you've lost control somewhere along the line, but shipping her off to a relative is definitely not the answer, nor is trying to have a battle of wills. The first thing you need to do is establish a line of communication and you do that by asking her questions about how she's feeling and why she feels how she feels. You want to do a lot of listening and no nterrupting, even if you find what she's saying is outrageous or insulting --- don't defend yourself, just listen (it'll be hard). When she gets it all off her chest, reassure her you're glad you talked, "we" should do it more, and add (before you exit) that you have a lot to think about. FYI, she's likely to tell you that she's hard done by, give you a laundry list of the injustices in her life and try to assert her independence. About 90% of it will be fluff --- however, hidden in the fluff will be a 10% truth you can work on to build a mutually loving and respectful relationship.

STUFF TO THINK ABOUT...
Do you take time out for your kids? Has she had one-on-one time with yourself or your wife? Does she (and the other kids) have small jobs around the house to contribrute to the family as a whole? Do you nag too much? Do you thank her and show her affection? Do you give her opportunities for her to assert some independence beit clothing purchases or choosing a meal for dinner? Do you have a code of conduct (aka "RULES") and fair/predictable consequeces should they be broken?

Answer 3

This is really hard and you probably are not going to like my answer. Talk to your local DCFS or police, you can temporarily turn custody of her over to the state where she will be subjected to audie homes, group housing and consoling. Hopefully then she will know what can happen if you decide not to accept custody of her back.

If you don't like that, you can try sending her to one of those tough love camps/facilities and see if they can change her attitude.

Also, if she is getting constantly worse and more aggressive she can come after you and your wife while you sleep. Or harm one of her siblings. This actually happened to someone I know before they decided to do something about their child.

I wish you good luck and success.

Answer 4

maybe you should take her to the baby jail and let her she whats is really about and maybe she will start to listen.