My husband to be's family is devoutly catholic, my fiance doesnt practice and i am protestant baptist, so we are going to the justice of the peace and just planning a reception afterwards, that also is a big issue with my fiances grandmother, who by the way is wealthy but not offering any wedding cost help which is fine but in my book means then she has no input! so how would one go about not hurting his families feelings about the issue?
2007-11-26 12:50:01 · 13 answers · asked by Em-lynn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
LOL sorry but your story is exactly the same as mine! (Except I am Anglican.) Basically you just have to bite the bullet and say "It is our day, our life together and our decision."
I know it's hard when you don't want to upset a member of the family, and particularly when in comes to your in-laws you try and accommodate so that they wont see you as the 'dragon-girl' stealing their boy! I was actually more concerned about upsetting his Grandmother than my Fiancee was!
I think of it this way, this is how the priest who will be marrying us put it, "It's all the same game, we're just playing for different teams". :o)
You are right that you should not feel obligated to let her have any control over your wedding especially if she is not contributing money wise.
Maybe if you want to soften the blow, or as a peace offering you could ask her to say a special grace before the meals is served at the reception.
Good luck!
2007-11-26 13:08:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, can't you find some ground between a Catholic mass and ceremony and a JP? Can't you marry with a minister from your faith, at least? This way, you can ease the parents' conscience that at least God is invited to your wedding even if it can't be a Catholic ceremony.
My finace's family is devoutly Catholic, and he and I are both former Catholics and we wouldn't consider marrying in the Catholic church. We will be marrying in St Thomas on the beach, but will be married by a minister in a Christian ceremony. This fits in with my belieif in God and Jesus, not the Catholic church, and appeases his parents in that it isn't a totally secular wedding.
Please try to compromise.
2007-11-26 23:26:44 · answer #2 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you can be married in the catholic church without being catholic.. and if your southern baptist.. why not have a wedding with both of your religious backgrounds. Ask your pastors to meet, and see if you can satisfy both of your families with a combined christian wedding. As far as his grandmother is concerned.. don't worry about her. her opinion doesn't matter. good luck.
2007-11-27 08:21:21 · answer #3 · answered by dietitian4u 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When planning a wedding it is really hard to please everyone. What is important is that you are celebrating your marriage with family and friends and that you marry the way you want to!
One suggestion I have is why not get married at the reception hall by the JP, that way your family and friends can witness and enjoy the ceremony as well.
This is how my husband and I got married and it really was nice, also we had more time to party since we weren't traveling all over!
However you decide just be firm and say we love you but this is how we wat to get married!
Good luck!
2007-11-26 20:59:41 · answer #4 · answered by Reba 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I Myself am catholic And am married but, did not get Married in a catholic church maybe someday but here's my point tell him to tell his family I'm Marring her and if your happy you'll come to the reception { if they are invited } If not stay home
don't come and ruin our greatest day of happiness
It really doesn't matter if you have a big wedding or JOP or a backyard BBQ what matters is that your marrying because you love one another tell everyone else to piss off If there true catholics tell them to treat others as they wish to be treated !!!!!LOL CONGRATULATION'S
2007-11-27 04:37:00 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two are adults, and have decided that faith isn't going to be involved in your marriage or your life together afterwards, then you just 'announce' where and when you are getting married. You two pay for the wedding yourselves, so you plan the type of wedding and number of guests the two of you can afford.
However, get some pre-marital counselling, regardless.
2007-11-27 12:35:31 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is not going to be easy and that is the first thing you have to realize. People are going to try to push their beliefs on you - especially people who love you. You need to have a serious discussion about this with them. If your fiancee doesn't even practice this religion, is it really even realistic for any of them to think he would marry in the church? It seems to me that would make him a hypocrite... I had to break it to my parents that I was not going to marry in the Catholic church, but rather the Greek church. I pointed out what I no longer liked/supported about the Catholic church, but assured them that I did not resent my past. They accept this now. Good luck.
2007-11-26 20:56:59 · answer #7 · answered by valerino539 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest I don't think there's a way to do that. The only thing you can do is that while you all believe in the same God, it's basically the politics that differ and rather than saying one religion is better than the other, because in your book they aren't, you are choosing a neutral means of getting married.
Good Luck!
2007-11-26 21:00:51 · answer #8 · answered by Cory C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your fiance should be the one to let his family know he's having a civil ceremony instead of a church wedding. if he's not a practicing catholic, this should not come as any surprise to them. be prepared for questions - like what about the children!
i had a JoP, and still included religious references and reference to God in my ceremony. you don't need to exclude religion or God from a civil ceremony.
2007-11-26 21:02:18 · answer #9 · answered by ProudM 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be firm, but nice and explain your wishes to them.
My aunt is Catholic. My uncle was Baptist. She buried him in her church. His family is Baptist. No one understood the Catholic funeral tradtions except for maybe 10 people. It was uncomfortable and weird. Don't put yourself through that to please people whom will find some way to be unhappy anyways!
2007-11-26 21:08:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋