I need some serious answers to this?

Question

I've been living with my dad and grandmother my whole life. My dad works 2nd shift so he's never around when i come home from school. For the past year now, my grandmother has become very angry. She's the one providing for me and my sister and when i say providing i mean, cooking and doing the dishes and sometimes the laundry. Me and my sister are not spoiled or anything. Whenever I try to do the dishes my grandmother screams at me and tells me to leave the kitchen. Sometimes that happens when i try and do my laundry. Also, she always yells at me and my sister for the littlest things like not finishing our meal or working on homework until late at night. In all, she's always yelling at us and its making me so frustrated. I can't stand this anymore. It's been going on for a year and almost every single day. Is there something wrong with her or am I just doing all the wrong things?

Answer 1

You are not doing anything wrong. It seems to me as if your Grandmother is very unhappy and depressed about something and she does not know where to turn or who to talk to about it and she seems to be taking out on you and your sister. We grown ups sometimes take things out on the ones that we love when we do not know what to do about something that is frustrating us.

I think that you should try to do something nice for her even when she seems angry towards you. I am sure it is not anything that you are doing to irritate her. I think that everything irritates her right now. Try to get her out of the house. Maybe the whole family needs to get away for the day and do something fun. Maybe Grandma just needs some time alone. Away from all of the responsibilities of you and your sister. She had been taking care of people all of her life and needs some time for something to be done for her. Talk to your Dad about it. Ask him what he suggests that all three of you can do to lighten up her spirits!

Always be nice no matter what and do what your Dad and Grandma tells you to do. I know that it can be hard. Try talking to her and tell her how much that you appreciate all that she does for you however you would like to help her out. If she says that you can't do it right, ask her to teach you how to do it the way that she would like.

Sometimes life can be very hard and confusing...for us grownups and especially for you younger folks! Keep a smile on your face and try to put yourself in her shoes and think what it must be like to be her and to have her life.

I wish you the best,
Lisa

Answer 2

I'm sure that she's mostly frustrated herself. Some people like to do certain things to calm themselves and feel as thoe it's thier job to do that one thing no matter what it is. She might think that you are trying to do her job and she might not want any one else to do it. I also know that some people (including me) hate to waste things. I can't even stan not finishing my own food. Maybe she's just the same way. If she's old enough, she might have been through the Great Deppression and known about how aweful it is to lose something and never get it back. Even food. She also might think that you'll do it wrong. I'm sorry to say that there are so many people that won't let others do certain things because they're simply afraid that you'll do it wrong. I used to be the same way with my younger sister. In some things, I still am. I'm sure that she only cares for you and you shouldn't get to frustrated with these things. Simply think of it as a learning experience and lean what to do and not to do around your grandmother.

Answer 3

Stress tends to do that to people, especially when they are supposed to be getting help, in this case, your grandmother's supposed to be receiving a hand in caring for yourself and your sister from your dad, but he's not around enough to actually do anything. Your grandmother could be yelling at you when you attempt to do a good deed because she's AFRAID you'll mess it up and she'll have to redo the entire task. All in all, your grandmother's frustration with your dad is being taken out on you and your sister, who are now frustrated. The best bet would be to help ease the pressure of raising you both off of your grandmother's shoulders.

Answer 4

From what i read i believe that no ur not doing most of the things wrong. Your trying to help with the dishes thats great but u get screamed at. The best thing to do is talking to your dad about this or someone closer to you that can help or relate to this problem, or have a serious talk(serious meaning calm, and peaceful) with your grandma and explain to her how she needs to have patience with you and your sister also remember that you have to thank her for the biggest or littlest things she's done for you, doesnt matter if she doesnt ppreciate it.. letting her know is best.
Hope this helps and good luck-

Answer 5

You are not doing anything wrong, hon. Sounds like your grandmother is frustrated, and perhaps tired of taking care of everyone else... it's a shame she won't accept your help.

You could ASK your grandmother if there is anything you can do to help... and if not, then go about your business... it sounds like you are living with someone who has issues.. and it's NOT your fault.. believe me.

You can also talk with your dad and let him know what's going on, if he's unaware.

take care.

Answer 6

She could have the beginning stages of Alzheimers. My grandfather (RIP) was very cranky before he was diagnosed with it. He was always patient and hardly ever raised his voice, but then he started to change. It was almost like he was different over night. Either that or your grandmother needs some serious meds like Xanax or Zoloft for regulating her moods. It's probably not you. I would get granny to a doctor stat!

Answer 7

I would just sit down some day and ask her to talk to you ,,tell her you feel she is upset about something and ask her if it is because of how stressed she is or lonely or ask her if she feels ok..SHE ACTUALLY may be depressed..Many are and Nobody can help them without professional help and usually medication...I would ask her if there is anything you could do to help her and that you feel she is NOT HAPPY and that you would LOVE to help her if you only knew how...tell her that you LOVE her and really appreciate all she does for you (EVEN if she IS IN A BAD MOOD tell her anyway)...She might break down and talk or you might have to talk to her doctor about how she is acting..It may be stress but Its not probably something you will find out for sure without outsider help...you can try but please ask a Dr....Older people do have problems and Do not even know it sometimes...GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 8

i think in a nice way you should simply explain too her that by her yelling constantly is making you very stressed and you cant deal anymore, offer to help before you just do it, i know it sounds crazy. try getting out of the house more offtend maybe if your not around as much she'll appericate you more. or talk to your dad about it, maybe he could break it too her more easily that she needs to lighten up. gooluck i hope everything works out in the end

Answer 9

I think grandma is overwhelmed. I fell so sorry for you, it is not your fault. Maybe it would help if you talk to her about how all of her yelling makes you feel.

If there is no health problems with grandma, I would suspect she probably wasn't a great mother to her own kids. Yelling at someone is never a solution for anything.

Answer 10

nonono your doing great uhh you should see my grandmother trust me worse you got to understand she might be ageing and going trough some changes...or maybe she is stressed you know just sit down anad talk to her tell her how you feel grandmothers re like that and im sure she only wants the best for youh.