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I am feeling very down at the moment. I got back from my Thanksgiving break yesterday and had my classes resume today. I was in a good mood all day until a few hours ago. It seems to be mostly about this girl that I really like, who I have hooked up with and I apparently wasn't assertive enough with her. Anyway, her sorority has a formal on saturday and I was really hoping she (or one of the many other girls i know in the sorority) would ask me to go. I told myself all last week during break that I was over her and it didnt matter if she asked me or not, and it seemed like i was all fine until today. Then we had class together and she basically bolted out of class and didn't look back. Anyway, I just feel really down and depressed because 1. I really like this girl and I know I ****** it up, and 2. I don't feel like anybody even cares if I am around or not. I just really don't know what to do to make myself feel like I am worth something to other people.

2007-11-26 12:43:06 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

17 answers

You mean a lot to your family and one day you'll mean a lot to a special someone. It's not the end of the world we all make mistakes in relationships, this won't be your fist and it won't be your last, forgive yourself and move on. There are other girls out there, don't just give up.

2007-11-26 12:54:17 · answer #1 · answered by Firebird 6 · 0 0

I know how you feel. And there isn't any quick answer to this situation. I have been through all of that and really, there isn't anything that others can do to help. You have to do it yourself. I always had people telling me stuff like "it's not that bad' or "you'll get over it". It doesn't work like that. But you have to start thinking positive and practice being happy. I know it sounds stupid, but that's what helped me. I got involved in things I was interested in like photography and music. As far as getting over a girl, all I can say is, if this one isn't the one, another will come along. Until then, yes it will be hard. But it WILL happen. Email me if you like. mason@straightshots.co.nz

2007-11-26 12:50:14 · answer #2 · answered by Piano Man 4 · 0 0

Dont worry. I know that is easier said than done. If she did not invite you, you should tell yourself it if fine. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Spend some time relaxing and find out the root cause of your sadness. Is it sadness or is it clinical depression. Talk to your parents or anyone that you are close too - sometimes stress from school, finals approaching can also cause anxiety and worry.

Talk to her about how you feel is another alternative. That is if she would really understand.

Keep your head up and focus on yourself.

2007-11-26 12:49:34 · answer #3 · answered by marbear 2 · 0 0

1. Live more in the moment
Thinking about the past or the future is what we get anxious about. Rarely do we panic about the present moment. If you find yourself dwelling on something that either has already happened or has yet to occur, remind yourself that the only thing you have control over is the present. That's really the only thing that counts. Be proactive and avoid seeing yourself as a victim of circumstance, Dennis says. "You can't sit around waiting for someone to do something good for you. If you want something out of life you need to get out and get it."

2. Practise positive affirmation
Tell yourself you are strong, says Dennis. Practise saying positive things about yourself over and over and over. In the morning, wake up and say something positive. Have that be your very first thought of the day. Even if you don't believe it, or if it's a harried Monday morning and you've woken up late for work, starting your day off with a positive affirmation will help set up your day on a good note.

3. Believe in the power of positive thinking
This one may seem pretty obvious, but it's one that many people overlook. If you think positively, positive things will happen. "It's a universal law, just like gravity," Dennis says. Alternatively, if you are constantly thinking negative thoughts, don't be surprised when negative things happen. It takes a tremendous amount of work to change our thinking to a positive frame of mind, but it's worth all the effort, she says. "If you tell yourself your life is bad, it will be. It's that simple."
4. Don't dwell
Look at what's upsetting you, fix it and move on. If it's already happened, you unfortunately can't go back and change it, so dwelling on it and lamenting about what could or should have been is a waste of time and energy and just makes you feel worse about yourself. Accept whatever it is that happened and then move forward, Dennis says. It's amazing how light you will feel after dropping some of your emotional baggage.

5. Focus on the positive
Start a gratitude journal, Dennis suggests. Whether in the morning or at night -- or both -- jot down five or six things you are grateful for. They can be big or small or something as simple as "It was sunny out today" or "I had a great lunch." As long you do it on a regular, consistent basis it can help shift your negative thinking to positive. Whenever you're feeling low, go back and read your journal to reaffirm all the great things you have in your life. When we feel negative we have a tendency to forget all about what we already have and focus instead on what we don't.

6. Get moving
Exercise is paramount for feeling good because it releases endorphins, Dennis says. Whether its a walk around the block or a 10-kilometre run, activity makes us feel good in spite of ourselves. Chances are, if you're feeling low and you do even 15 minutes of activity, you'll feel better afterwards.

7. Face the fear
Negativity comes from fear, Dennis explains. "The more afraid of life you are, the more negative you tend to be." If you fear something, do it anyway. Fear is a part of life, whether we like it or not, but we all have a choice as to whether to let it stop us. Facing our fears helps to build self-esteem.

8. Try new things
Being open to trying new things also helps to build self-esteem, Dennis explains. By saying yes to life you are giving yourself more opportunity to grow and learn. Avoid the "yes, but" mentality. New experiences, big or small, help make life more exciting and provide fulfilment.

9. Shift your perspective
When something doesn't go well, find a way to reframe it in a more positive perspective. "In every challenge there's a gift, and in every gift there's a challenge," Dennis explains. Even though it can be very difficult, try to look at the good that can come from challenges. Otherwise, it's very easy to sink into despair or sadness. Do whatever you can to stay positive when times are tough.

2007-11-26 17:17:28 · answer #4 · answered by one.n.only 3 · 0 0

My best friend has depression and I try to cheer her up but she never seems truely happy and doesn't think she pleases anyone. She is a sweetheart and always seems unhappy. I suggest just hanging out with people who make you laugh, family, friends, animals, etc. If all fails you could try therapy. Hopefully its just one of those days and things will get better. Stress sucks. Good Luck with everything!

2007-11-26 12:50:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Everyone is worth something , to their parents, friends . Think about that for a second. All the other people that love you. Just not that one girl. Even people who dont know you like me care about you :)

2007-11-26 12:48:56 · answer #6 · answered by Iced 2 · 0 0

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2016-12-30 04:57:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

dont feel down until u know for surethat she was avoiding you,, tell her how u feel and work upward from there,, if it doesnt work out,, keep looking

best of luck

maybe she would ask you to go if she knew how u realy felt,, bjust dont release and come on too strong if u do

2007-11-26 12:51:05 · answer #8 · answered by (Changed my name) 3 · 0 0

You sound like you're young so listen up...you're going to go through SO many girls before you find the ONE! Have fun!!!! Crushes are tricky.....go out with your friends and have a drink!

2007-11-26 12:47:58 · answer #9 · answered by Bauersgirl13 2 · 0 0

What you are looking for is this http://www.rsad.budocentral.com/Serial_Rapists.htm

Good luck. You are not a man. Feeling upset about a girl. Fagettabbbouuutiiitt

2007-11-26 12:48:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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