My dad hits me. He grabs my arm and squezes it and knocks me onto the floor sometimes. See details for more::

Question

He calls me nasty names, he tells me i am fat, tells me i am ******* fat, dam* lazy and then calls me sweetie and tells me i love you. I don't know what to do. Here is some background. We are jewish, we live in the upper east side of manhattan in a townhouse, my dad is a lawyer, and my mom runs law firms, and i go to a small private school.. I live a good life but i don't know what to do. Every time i tell my mom, she says i provoked him and it was my fault. But, do I or anyone deserve to be hit? Should i call child services. I don't want him to hurt my precious sister either yet, I still love him and when i need him he is always there for me. This is a behind closed doors dad so what should i do. I am writing this in tears after he threw me to the floor and broke my cell phone by throwing it. Please Help.

thankyou for responding, you really dont need to pray for me! but i dont know if i have what it takes to support the most of time, ok some of the time loving father who raised me untill now. btw i am 13

Answer 1

First of all your dad doesn't need to be hitting their children! That my friend is CHILD ABUSE! If this has been going on for a while, it has gone on to long! You have to STOP IT NOW or it could get worst in the long run. I went through the same situation with my step mother when I was a kid. If your mother is no help to you, there are people out there who will help you because they don't put up with that CRAP! If it happens again my friend, you need to call the police! I know you love your father my friend and you don't want anything to happen to him, I understand this. I'm just worried about your SAFETY. Let me know how you are at [e-mail]

Answer 2

Honey, your dad has some serious anger management issues and usually when that happens, it is because something about you, reminds him of himself.That doesn't make you a bad person. It just means that he is in a high pressure occupation and not handling it well. Can you spend more of your time at school or afterschool activities? Sometimes just being out of sight, is also out of mind. You should ask your mom if just you and she can go to lunch somewhere. Have a sit down and tell her how you are feeling and why. Keep a journal about what happens immediately before and after your father has a temper flare up. I think your dad really does love you, but has a lot of stress on him that he can't deal with. Does he have a fitness center membership? This would be a good stress reliever for him and your mom might decide this was a great holiday gift this year. This might help him to blow off steam without blowing up at you. This still doesn't take care of the fact that your dad is both physically and mentally abusing you. If you report this to the school counselor or your family physician or a trusted teacher they are legally required to report it to family services. This would require an investigation into your family life and maybe cause you and your little sister to be removed from your home. This may in fact be the best solution, especially if he is truly violent. I think if you can get your mom to listen to you , and you have kept track of how, when and where this all occurs she will listen. It maybe that you could stay with an aunt or grandparent for a while until things are under control. If you are being hurt, you will have to speak up to a trusted grandparent or other family member and if necessary, the police. I wish you well.

Answer 3

I'm really sorry for your situation.... and IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT that your father is nasty, hits and humiliates you and makes a fool of himself.

Your father has emotional problems and anger issues which he does not cope with... He does not have a good outlet for his frustrations and is completely WRONG in this instance.

I understand you love your father... but there is no excuse for him to abuse you....

Your mother is wrong for protecting him, as well.

You might ask your father to take some time to talk (on a day OFF work, when he seems more relaxed). Let him know how much you love him and how it makes you feel when he attacks you... ask him what you can do to help him? Because he DOES need help! If this does not embarrass him into changing, then by all means report him to children's protective services.

It might help also, if you have another adult who you trust and respect to talk with for advice.... sometimes people who "know" you and know your life situation can be of more help.

I sure hope things change... i am an adult who was abused as a child and hit -- it leaves deep scars....

take care of YOU and i hope you get some good answers here, hon... hugs

Answer 4

You don't deserve to be knocked on the floor. As a parent I feel that you aren't telling the whole story. Why exactly did your dad break your cell phone? Can it be that you are really angry with your father for breaking the phone. By no means does your father need to call you names. Sit him down and tell him how you feel. Calling child services they are going to ask alot of questions that may anger your father more. You may end up worst then what you already are. So my advice to you is to follow your heart. Deep down inside you know what is best for you. Maybe you can even confide in one of your friends parents that you are close with. You are a child and there is no way that you can proke a grown man.

Answer 5

Sweetie no child should be shoved around like that especially their parents.I don't know your age but yes I think you need help because it doesn't sound like your mom is doing her job in protecting you emotionally or physically.Children should not fear their parents. I'm sorry BUT THEY NEED HELP THEY HAVE THE ISSUES NOT YOU.I would talk to a school counselor or teacher as soon as possible you really need to get this resolved soon.***HANG IN AND EMAIL ME ANYTIME IF YOU NEED A FRIEND***

Answer 6

Call a teen helpline....also, find the number for "Parents Annonymous" in your area. It is a place that can help your dad. They dont go after people in the legal system, but instead offer classes and support groups for parents and kids to help families stop the cycle of abuse. Please check into this. If he refuses to try this (remember, he would not be publicly humiliated or have to fear for his career if he went this route...which is what most abusers fear most "SHAME"), then tell someone (a teacher or doctor or someone you trust) or call the authorities yourself.
There is help out there.....IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT HE LOSES CONTROL.....IT'S HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO BE IN CONTROL HIS REACTIONS, NOT YOURS!

Answer 7

yes try calling child services, you dont derserve to be treated thsi way, not many adults especially the other parent is willing to listen, so if you try to call them the child services and maybe your mother would start to wake up. better yet talk to a councilor at school, they would definetly get involved

Answer 8

I would tell someone, like a friend, or school teacher they can help you decide the best decision for you. If it was me I would tell someone before he hurts you so badly. Or hurts your sister.
If you don't like what he is doing, change it!

Answer 9

vagueness is a virtue yes, sometimes I have no idea what the problem is and I hold on tighter than ever.... no need to explain, I can't either

Answer 10

call child services before he hurts your sister.
i know you love him but if he truly loves you then he needs to learn to change, so you need to call for help so that he will also receive the help he needs.