She's pregnant....Do I come back to be with her again?

Question

We separated because for the most part I was uncomfortable with the people in her life, her family is emotionally abusive to her as is her best friend and she was much to close with ex boyfriend for my comfort... but now she is pregnant and I am curious how many of you would go back with girl and work on relationship for a child

Answer 1

If it's your child, then yes.......be a man and be a good father. If she has so many abusive people in her life, then you should be there for her. Besides, you don't want some other man raising your child do you?

Answer 2

Gosh...this is pretty difficult. The fact that you are considering the unborn child's happiness before your own is very admirable and that should always come first. But just remember that you have to be happy too!

I can't help but wonder if you are 100% sure that she is carrying your child? I mean, if she is really "close" to her ex, it's something that will get anybody thinking...

But if you are sure that she has been truthful to you, you should try to make things work--i mean it's obvious you still care about her. I'm pretty sure that you can help her and support her better than anybody else (especially if everybody around her is abusive).

Well good luck and i hope everything turns out for the best :)

Answer 3

If you think the relationship is salvageable then by all means give it a shot. But if there is doubt, don't do it just for the kid. I've seen many relationships where they couple stayed together only for the child, and that child never really grew up in a "happy" home. However, if you guys don't get back together, at least become good friends, and raise the child together in that way. No matter what try to get along very well, because that is what will matter most.

Answer 4

Is the child yours? If it is, then you need to work on a relationship with her whether or not you get back together as a couple. You will be in her life forever if you have a child together. And unfortunately that means her family too will be a part of your life. If you weren't able to make a relationship work before, you probably won't now either, but if you think there's a chance it could work out, then that would be 100 times better for a child to have married parents when he/she is born.

Answer 5

You should work on a friendship first for the child and then maybe a closer relationship for you. Being a father to your child does not mean that you are required to be in an intimate relationship with the mother. It is ideal, but don't force something that isn't there. I think she knows how you feel about others in her life. Let her know that you will not allow your child to be treated the same way she is allowing herself to be treated. Hope this helps!

Answer 6

No. You can be a father and love and support your child and spend plenty of time with him or her without being in a bad relationship. If it didn't work without a child, it won't work with one, either. It would be better for the child the two of you share to have both parents (getting along well) seprate then both parents hating each other and split up again later, only then you'll be changing the child's life in a negative way.

Answer 7

You chose this woman to be the father of your child. Maybe you were not thinking in those terms at that time, but that is the decision that you made and now have to live with.

None of this is your child's fault. Your child needs a father. You need to be prepared to step up to the plate and be that father. Whatever your relationship with her turns out to be, you will have some kind of relationship with her if you have a relationship with your child (unless, I suppose if you get custody and she has no interest).

Do you know what her plans are? I sincerely hope that she does not abort. Maybe she is considering adoption. That would give your child a loving mother and father, though the child is still going to want to know where he or she comes from, etc. You will need to be there for your child, in some capacity, even if your child is adopted. Your child will have questions about his or her origins.

I would encourage you to step up to the plate and be a father to your child.

Answer 8

I think you should 1, do whatever you can to get her out of that family situation. And 2, you don't have to stay with this girl but its
crucial that YOU ARE IN THE CHILDS LIFE!! Children without a father dont know how to act. If its a girl she wont know how a man should treat a women because she never had her parents to watch as an example therefore she just may become a girl who acts like a prostitute. And if its a boy he won't know how to treat women. He'll become shallow and sexually abusive to women.

Think it out best your can.

Goodluck,
laena

Answer 9

If you want to be with her....BUT don't do it for the chlld...(you will eventually show respentment toward the child not that you will be meaning to but you will do it subconsciously and thats not good for her/him or anyone else for that matter)

If you want to be with her do it because YOU two want to make things work. As for her family and "best-friend" being abusvie toward her...as a friend(ex-boyfriend) you should let her know maybe shes gotton so used to it that she thinks its normal.. As for her and her ex being 2 close it could be that he was her "first" its hard to let go of that. You should talk to her and let her know that it make you uncomfortable. (yes be open and honest) Tell he how you feel let her know that it is disrespectful that she spends more than enough time with him.



EDIT: YOU CAN STILL BE "A MAN" BY BEING THERE FOR YOUR CHILD!!! AND NOT BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER"....

Answer 10

try to work on it for the child.
but if things are too bad around there, dont let the baby have to grow up in that envirionment.
if it does get so bad that you would feel horrible about raising a child under those circumstances and in those living conditions, separate and do the weekend thing where one of you gets the baby during the week and the other on the weekend, pay lots of child support and all that. be the baby's dad, just dont live in teh same house.
but if you and the momma can get along, and the family and best friend chill out, then try to raise the baby with both parents!
remember, do whatever is best for the baby.

Answer 11

I mean if you really wanted to be with her you would be working on the relationship even though you were separated. I mean I guess you should try it with her. But I dont hink you should feel obligatated to be with her just because she's pregnant. I mean you can still be apart of the child's life without actually being with her. I hate when people get together or married just because they get pregnant when they know they dont really want to be together. Do what you think is best for both of you and the child.