Can I get some opinions on this situation?

Question

For those of you that read my other question, this one is kind of in the same ballpark. Originally, my issue was whether or not I should leave my parents' house in FL & move to NY on my own. I have since decided to go back to NY & finally got an interview set up for next week. I had told them a few weeks ago that I was going to begin looking for jobs in NY & then today I broke the news about the interview to them. My mom took it fairly well, but my father flipped out. I understand he's upset that I'm growing up & moving on with my life, but in my opinion he crossed the line. He came into my room telling me that he hates my b/f (a guy that he loved before this point) & told me that I allow my b/f to walk all over me & that my b/f doesn't love me. My father is under the impression that I'm moving for my b/f & not for myself, but this is not the case. I'm confused now b/c my father is unhappy & I can't even be happy about my decision to move. Can I please just get some feeback on this?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ajqz4HCBqdlXLF5L9drnlHfsy6IX;_ylv=3?

That's my original question if you want some background =) Please let me know if I should add more details...it's kind of a tough situation and I'm really confused right now.

Just an extra detail...I'm not moving in with my b/f in NY. I personally don't believe in living with someone before I'm married and my father knows this, but he's still upset b/c he thinks that I'm moving to NY in the first place just to be with my b/f. My father seems to be disregarding the fact that I was born and raised in NY and that my family only recently moved to FL in the first place.

Answer 1

You have to do whats best for you. You cant live for your father. He will eventually calm down but meanwhile if you let his abusive words affect your decision (yes they were abusive words), then you will end up resenting him for holding you back. You had confidence and you let his attempt to bully you knock that confidence down. Just do what you need to do for you.

Answer 2

I didnt read your original question but I think that you should wait and see if you get the job before you just up and move to NY. And as for your dad flipping out, I just dont know. My dad may have been apprehensive but I dont think he would flip out. But you know that dad's are more controlling on their daughter's because they dont want you to get hurt. You just have to explain to him that you are growing up and that you cant live at home forever. You have to become an adult and make decisions on your own. I recently told my mother that I was moving out and she took it better than I expected.
If you really arent moving there because of your boyfriend then you should explain that to him. I think that's he's angry because you're leaving him that's why he started saying all that stuff about your boyfriend. Or maybe he doesnt like him. Just think about the situation as a whole and you'll end up making the right decision. Dont stay at home just because your dads not happy. In every decision you make, everyone is not going to be happy. You can never please everyone.

Answer 3

Your probably his baby girl and it is hard to let you go. You need to make your own decisions if you are old enough, but you should also make it clear to your father that your boyfriend is not the reason you are moving. I'm sure it will be tough for him accept, but if he respects you, he will eventually give in. Just let him know you love him. (From a father who will be facing this soon as well, good luck)

Answer 4

Is your b/f leaving with you? Is he living with you guys now? An interview is not a job, only an invitation to negotiate, just like an ad. Are you taking anything that you did not buy yourself? Money? Credit cards? Car? On your own means you have practice at home, like buying your stuff, paying your own bills, helping with the utilities, phones, cable, food, laundry, that kind of stuff. Have you ever done that? Have you ever paid for a nice dinner for Mom and Dad? Being on your own means, the bills are yours, all of them, all the time. Good luck

Answer 5

well, i have seen this before moving for a relationship so it maters how long u been with him and how much u trust him and if he has ever asked for money or valuable stuff. 1-2 years wait it out. 2-3 years consider it but dont be afraid to second guess yourself. 4-5 years highly consider it. but also your dad might be right plus he loves u and doesnt want u to get hurt cuz stuff like that hapens a lot but in general he didnt cross the line cuz u gota think from both views.

Answer 6

awe i'm sorry, but it's probably just hard for him, his little girl is moving away. if i were you, i would wait like a day or two so your dad could cool down then sit him down and talk to him and explain your reasons for moving out. you should probably reassure him that you still love him a lot and you a grateful for everything he and your mom have done for you but you feel like it's time to move on and start a new chapter of your life. as far as the boyfriend goes...i wouldnt really worry about it yet, if it gets worse then you have a lot of talking to do with your dad and possibly your boy. Good Luck!

Answer 7

It sounds like they want a funds over-haul. Starters ... they're no longer financially in an miraculous position to "Agree" on the stay-at domicile case. because the spouse has "pupil loans" (from earlier the marriage) the proper subject could were to exclude this with a "pre-nuptual" ... yet i'm gussing that step changed into ignored. next question is ... why is she finding out to purchase something she would not plan to apply ... i comprehend u can't get out of pupil loans ... yet she must have had a interest 4 what she changed into finding out to purchase. If her parents were the ppl "pushing 4 an coaching" they could take care of to assist. IMO coaching is excess of-rated ... tremendously if u do not have a existence plan. very last factor ... she could artwork as long as her well-being helps till the being pregnant. 2d, cuttiing luxories like mobil phones, cable/dish television, internet, and researching a thanks to attend to electrical energy on my own could keep between $three hundred-$four hundred in line with month. in reality, something it truly isn't any longer a necessidy and calls for monthy fee must be decrease. 0.33, can different housing association be made ... cheeper lease, or mortgage fee ... bear in concepts if u'r hell bent on having a stay at domicile determine ... nicely, reducing value is better. solid Sacrifice is giving up something with a little while period result for a lengthy time period earnings. I do trust contained in the stay - at domicile even if the kin desires to make sacrifices. because curiously brainstorming continues to be happening ... nicely, jointly the kin desires to guage the sacrifices, make a dedication, and decision plans. proper desires to this new adventure in ur existence .... U can do it.

Answer 8

Do what you feel is best. Do not be swayed by your boyfriend though. Let your father cool off and then you can talk to him. He doesn't want you to go because he can not protect you from that far away. Him blowing up is just a way to cover up his real emotions. He is really sad about the situation not mad. Men are programmed not to show sadness. Hope this helps.

Answer 9

As a father myself , Id say he's just unhapy becouse your moveing,And you have a b/f that's probly going with you,, But you haft to grow up and do your own thing, just do it and dont regret it, most fathers will not disown there children , and you can bet that even thow he is mad now,you will always have a place to call home, , But remember not to forget him, becouse you only get one and when there gone you cant get them back,just relax , im sure he will come around,

Answer 10

I think your father is just upset that your moving. Give him sometime I sure he'll come around. Explain to him, your growing up and you have to start making decisions on your own. Just give him sometime, then try and talk to him