Im in my early twenties and he is over 10 years older. We have went out on date once and he is very charming. I get the impression that he is a nice guy but wondering about his motives.
2007-11-26 11:05:14 · 17 answers · asked by ebielola 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well if he's a good guy, then give him a chance.
2007-11-26 11:08:30 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda Overmeyer-Janis of today! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you are considering dating this guy, you need to both be upfront and honest about what both of your motives are. I mean as they say with most younger women they are stuck in that father figure stage or only after a sugar daddy. And with most older guys they just want some eye candy and some young woman to have sex with a few times to make themselves feel good about who they are during their mid-life crisis. So best way to go is think about your feelings, how ready you are for a relationship right now with anyone, what would you expect out of the relationship, how would you feel if he did start sounding like another parent to you? I mean really you have to think about these things. I know many people will say don't think about age, because it worked out for me and my guy. But no, everyone is different. And what may have worked for someone else's relationship may not work for yours. I mean this guy as you know is already 10 years older, do you know where he is at in his life? What kind of relationship if any is he looking for? What about his experiences? Because really age is very important, and how much a person has gone through will tell you so much about what they are ready for and what they are not. Heck even what you are ready for and what you can handle. You said you are in your early 20's think about if the guy might want a family in the next few years are you willing to give him one? or do you want to finish school or something first? You need to find out what you want first and then talk to him about what he feels and wants, because no one likes to date someone and feel unsure of what is expected of them.
2007-11-26 11:17:38 · answer #2 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically, his motive most likely is to be with someone young and someone he can possibly manipulate. If you and him are not of the same mindset, and I don't mean someone who treats you nice just to get something later in return. It depends on a lot of factors, like how mature you are, how streetwise you are ,etc. I don't think you would be asking this question if it wasn't a concern of yours. I can only say take your time and don't rush into a relationship with him. He might just want a piece of you know what and no real commitment later on. Usually older guys like to control things, if he is overly so like that, then you might want to run for cover.
2007-11-26 11:19:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me your instincts are with you. Why? his motives. Age differential becomes less relevant as you grow older. What matters is that you both love each other. Period. So, don't worry; the generation gap will soon be history. What you need to find out are his motives which is the aim of any fledgeling relationship. I suggest to take yours with your suitor as you would with any other man: observe all the rules, that includes tons of discretion, and don't take anything for granted. Happy dating!
2007-11-26 11:32:22 · answer #4 · answered by Beniiiii 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my parents were 7 years apart they got along really well, so does a friend of mine her bf is 10 yrs older and they are really happy... I guess you just have to ask the guy what it is he wants from you... if it is more than just a fling then go for it!
WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK DARL!!!
PS. I too am in my early twenties, and like an older guy too LOL
2007-11-26 11:17:01 · answer #5 · answered by selkiekay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be exactly what your instincts tell you he is. Just take it slow, dont be afraid to express how you feel about dating, sex, marriage, future etc. Remember most men do not mature as fast as women do when it comes to commitments. Makes me wonder what I was thinking by marrying a man 9yrs younger! But on the other hand that tells you one thing right there it does not make much of a difference, we have been together 13 yrs, and just got married last week. Took him that long to grow up!
2007-11-26 11:20:03 · answer #6 · answered by It's me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen Im 31 and Im dating a girl whos 25 and has a kid. I have no hidden agenda and ulterior motives with her. I just like her and wanna go out with her. as simple as that. There's no generation gap between us. I mean I dont see one
2007-11-26 11:09:24 · answer #7 · answered by GIOVAN R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband was 17 yrs older..Great..Love older men...When I was widowed for a while had a boyfriend 18yrs younger...
It all depends on who you both relate to each other. If you get along that's all that matters.
His motives ? (smile)
Do you both want the same kind of relationship?
Know what kind of relationship you want. He is either sincere and likes you, or if its just sex, you will soon know..then drop him...NEXT!
2007-11-26 11:13:20 · answer #8 · answered by jalady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 9 years older than my husband and we get along great. There is not that much of an age difference. I would say go for it.
2007-11-26 11:08:35 · answer #9 · answered by sheilakel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why wonder about his movtives. He's of the age where he knows what he wants from a woman and even though he is 10 years older than you it isn't a problem unless you make it one
2007-11-26 11:08:07 · answer #10 · answered by Brown'n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like much of a generation gap to me. Take it like any other date. Go out a couple of times, and if you don't click, it will be evident and you can stop it before you go too far.
2007-11-26 11:07:55 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋