okay, so my "boyfriend" (we've dated on & off for 4 years) asked me if i would be okay if we started trying to get me pregnant, which i would love because everyone tells us we make the most beautiful couple & how lucky i am to be his girlfriend. we're actually very compatible and can't wait to get married & there's nothing more i could ask for. but the problem is we're only 18 & i'm going away to college soon & i don't know how to tell him we should wait or IF we should wait, because a baby would make our relationship so much better, but i'd have more trouble focusing in college. please tell me what i should do, & what i should say to him!!!
2007-11-26 10:50:51 · 8 answers · asked by Sweetheart <3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you both need to sit down and have a more serious chat on this.
It's great you think you can start a family, but at 18 you are only just an adult. Do you feel ready to look after another person yet? Also how will you support yourselves? Do you have cars, jobs, a house? You will need all 3 to offer the best to a child.
What is the rush? You have been dating for 4 years, why can't you wait another 4 or at least until after college?
I have to say from experience having a baby can just as easily destroy a relationship as bring you closer together.
If you want to explain a "No" in a positive way, tell him you love him and do want a family with him. But because of all that love you want it to be the best it can be. If you get an education, better job, save some money and get a place to live it will be so much better.
If he truly loves you the same, I think he will agree. The only things I also think is perhaps this is a way to "keep you" as he might be scared about you going away to college and meeting someone else.. Ask him about that and if that is the case, advise absence can make the heart grow fonder too!
I think you just need to be really honest and weight it all up.
Good luck Honey
2007-11-26 11:02:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A baby wouldn't make the relationship better. If you two are meant to spend your lives together, it will happen. You are only 18. You've never lived on your own and how no clue how to run a household, much less a household with a child. YOu have no career, no good job to support a child. Go to school. You can have a child later, when you are more stable in life and financially. Does he even know how much a child costs. Medical expenses just to have the kids are $30,000. Insurance will only cover about 80%, depending on your plan.
Grow up a little, get some education and wait until you have a baby. Live your life a little first. Go out on friday nights and not worry about getting (and having to pay) a sitter.
2007-11-26 19:03:00 · answer #2 · answered by Meghan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do NOT get pregnant at 18...finish school, get a job, and establish a stable household. then you can get married and start having kids. you want to have the best situation for your children. if you wait until after college and after you get a job you will be able to properly provide for your child. at this age i dont think you can. also it will give your relationship with your boyfriend time to grow and mature. you've done the whole hs relationship thing, now give it time to work out in the real world. trust me, you dont want a baby at 18, it will complicate your life much more than it needs to be at this age, enjoy having fun! theres plenty of time to be a parent. tell him all of this and how your childrens lives will be better with parents who have an education and stable job. i really hope this helps
2007-11-26 18:58:48 · answer #3 · answered by raych 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you're married. Having a baby now would interfere with getting your education and it's just not a good idea.
You say you dated 'off & on' for 4 years now. What if things change while you're at college and you two are 'off'
and pregnant?
2007-11-26 18:56:58 · answer #4 · answered by WilmaF 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems you have two choices here: GET MARRIED AND BE A MOMMY, or GO TO COLLEGE and get the education you would be able to fall back on IF THE RELATIONSHIP DID NOT WORK DOWN THE ROAD. NEVER get pregnant with the HOPE of getting married "someday". It would be too easy for him to walk away if some other skirt caught his eye after you were prego.
2007-11-26 18:58:50 · answer #5 · answered by Mike 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait.
Unless you're willing to make a lifetime commitment to one another, don't be getting pregnant. Single parenthood is a monumental challenge.
Even if you're going to be married, I'd still say "Wait." You do *not* need to be trying to raise an infant while you're in college.
2007-11-26 18:59:40 · answer #6 · answered by septegram 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you want to, but you think it would be better if you waited until you were done with your school work and were a little older. If he loves you, he won't deny it, and if he does deny it, he doesn't understand the desire for a good education and therefore shouldn't be worthy of your love. if you're afraid the relationship wont survive until then, then it wasn't really a good realationship to start with.
2007-11-26 18:58:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen
YOU HAVE TO GRADUATE COLLEGE!!!!!!
how the hell are you going to support that baby??
THINK WITH YOUR MIND BEFORE YOU DO IT.
and have him think the smae
u dont need to care about what others say
those are rumors
once u do somthing stupid
all of those people who say ur so great with him will go away and all u will have is tears
so think for yourself
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AgMYzuf_D3epWbVEks7qFpXsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071126151040AAR0QjC
2007-11-26 19:00:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋