I am 16 years old and my parents don't let me have a boyfriend. What should I do to convince them to let me?

Question

Last September (2006) a boy came up to me and asked me to go out with him. I did, but I did it behind their backs because i was afraid that they would say no. I did this for 4 months until they found out. I lied to them and said I did break up with him. Then they found THAT out 5 months later. BIG TROUBLE. Then FOR REAL THAT TIME. I stopped. The weird thing was that I broke up with him not just because I had to, but because he cheated on me big time with his slu*ty friend. 5 months passed and I haven't done anything behind my parents back. I promise I never will because I broke their trust that they had for me into little ashes. Now that I am 16, I want to bring the question up (if i can have a bf etc), but I am way tooo nervous. Last time i asked them they said that if i asked one more time if i could, they wouldn't let me have a boyfriend till i am 18. *sigh* What am I to do? How do I persuade my beloved parents to alow me to have a boyfriend?
H-E-L-P!

Answer 1

Explain how you feel and tell them that you would rather do it with they knowledge than behind their backs. You are 16 now, if they keep on doing this, they will only have 2 more years with you cause as soon as you turn 18 you will leave and not come back anymore and the only time they will get with you is christmas if you want to! My family did the same thing to me, I HATE THEM, don't talk to them and don't want to!, Not my parents though, they died when I was a little girl! Your parents need to understand that the reason you did this behind their backs is because they are holding you back and not letting you live your life. This is so absurd in so many levels. If they were not trying to control you like a robot you would be more open and honest with them. Sorry hun but seems to me like your parents are living in the stone age! You need to be honest and tell them that they can control you all they want but soon you will be an adult and you are going to resent them for this!

Be Honest???
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Answer 2

Well, being the complete dork I am, I usually write a persuasive essay.

Instead of confronting your parents face-to-face, leave them a heartfelt note! After they read your 'essay,' they'll really get your point, which should make it easier to talk about.

Since you're in high school, you'll know all about a persuasive essays. :P Do the same you would from school, but put a alittle heart behind it. The professional-like approach will probably impress them, and a notes from their daughter is sure to warm their hearts a bit.

Leave it on their nightstand or dresser, sealed in an envelope with their names on it. If they don't bring it up within the next two days, pluck up your courage, say, "Did you read my note?" And take it from their.

I hope this helps, and is not too overly dorky. :P So - good luck!

Answer 3

Find out what your parents are worried about with you having a boyfriend. Are they worried that your grades will slip, or that you'll become pregnant, or what? Use examples to show that you're a responsible person with a good head on your shoulders. If you have a good driving record, good grades, help out with chores at home, point this out. Let them know that dating/being in a relationship will not negatively affect the other areas of your life. Ask them if they'll at least allow daytime dates on the weekend. Some parents are more uncomfortable with their daughters being out late at night. Tell them that they raised you well and that you won't disappoint them. Good luck!

Answer 4

OK i am 16 and i am not allowed to have a boyfriend either but i don't sweat it. you shouldn't have to either. you have a whole life ahead of you. you sound like someone who is smart and respectful. at this age having a boyfriend should be one of your least priorities. besides why would you want to date boys at our age anyway? they never learn. and i want you or know this no boy is worth you loosing your parents trust over anyway? anyway you do not loose anything by not dating right now. the good guys and the experiences will still be there when you are older. and trust me i know what i am talking about. i have been through what you have diff rent situation though but mine is kind of worse in a sense though i do feel bad for you. but don't sweat it they will come around they always do.

Answer 5

Stop lying to them and build trust. Do better in school, get involved in extra curricular activities or community service. By lying / deceiving them you destroyed any trust and flexibility with them. Sounds like there is no short term solution. Try taking my advice and maybe in 6 months or so they may see that you have the maturity to date, tell them about your good grades and so on, maybe they will give a little more room.

Answer 6

you have lost their trust in you and that is a very difficult thing to get back. most parents don't want any boy around their daughter. if maybe you are willing to compromise to only see the boy in a public place or at your home there should be something that will be OK. be civil when asking them and act as the adult you would like to be dealing with. good luck!

Answer 7

there isnt much that you can do to change their minds. i did pretty much the same thing with my parents a few years back and they told me to my face a few months back that they still dont trust me completely for the things i did to them in the past. what you should do is fight the urge to rebel and start dating. thats going to land you in hot water with your folks again, and that is probably the last thing you want. talk to them though. ask them why they feel so strongly about you dating and ask what you can do to regain their trust. they probably just want the best for you and they think that restricting you from dating is the best thing for you, so that should be the first thing on you mind. they arent allowing you to date because they want to keep you safe, not because they want you to suffer. just talk to them though. dont act like the victim though, and dont go into the conversation trying to make a point. talk to them and see if you can find out why they dont want you to date. hope that helps

Answer 8

You know, it may seem like a big deal now to you to not have a bf. It really isn't. They just get in the way when you start making your plans for after HS. This was my experience anyways.

Your parents are just looking out for you. It isn't the end of the world.

Answer 9

Why should they trust you now?

Put yourself in your parents' shoes. They have a daughter that broke their trust and dated before allowed and then did it for months while lying to them about it!

If you were my child you'd be lucky if I'd let you date at 18. Just think of all of the stuff you might have been lying to me about!!!

Answer 10

wow..thats so so tough on you..
Ask your parents when they first had their boyfriend and girlfriends etc....then talk to them about it real calmy and like a debate type thing..like real formal..

Raise some important issues...like:

how come alot of people get to and i dont...
when did u have ur first bf or gf
why cant i have a boy friend at my age
why 18
what do you think is going to happen if i do have a boyfriend
and so on and so forth

but i feel as you really love ur parents and thats awesome!! keep their trust and keep their love close to you..dont throw it all away...say..."mum, dad im just asking...and ..if u guys say no then i am happy to follow your rule but can you please explain to me why i cant have a boyfriend?" then u launch all your question!!

ha well goodluck